I had an informal wedding with no bridesmaids; one of my best friends from childhood got married after me and had several bridesmaids, and I wasn’t one of them (and we were still close and had stayed in touch). I was hurt but realized that the fact that I had no bridesmaids probably freed her from having to add me to the group, when perhaps she already has reached her max. Intellectually I knew that, but it still stung. I never brought it up; the issue was mine, not hers and I made a concerted effort to let it go and just be there for her, and i was.

I don’t think there’s anything to do or say. She participated in your day with enthusiasm and made it special; that’s what’s important. I’d let it go.

Anonymous wrote:I've been in large wedding parties, but when I got married only wanted my two sisters in my party. It's not personal.

I’ve been in a decent number of wedding parties and I decided that I didn’t want any bridesmaids at all. Everyone thanked me and came to the wedding in non-matching clothes they independently chose to wear.

Anonymous wrote:I had my best friend from HS as a bridesmaid at my wedding. She invited me to her wedding in August but I am not a bridesmaid for her. I don’t know if she’s having any bridesmaids.

I know I shouldn’t feel hurt, but I am a bit. We haven’t stayed in touch that much, but I sort of want to know if there’s a reason she didn’t return the gesture (assuming she is having bridesmaids at all).

Should I just leave this alone, or is there any good way to ask her about it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my best friend from HS as a bridesmaid at my wedding. She invited me to her wedding in August but I am not a bridesmaid for her. I don’t know if she’s having any bridesmaids.

I know I shouldn’t feel hurt, but I am a bit. We haven’t stayed in touch that much, but I sort of want to know if there’s a reason she didn’t return the gesture (assuming she is having bridesmaids at all).

Should I just leave this alone, or is there any good way to ask her about it?

It's self-explanatory. At the time of your wedding, you two were close. Many years passed and you two didn't stay in touch. Now you're not close anymore. Why would you be a bridesmaid at her wedding?

We hadn’t been close when I invited her to be a bridesmaid in mine. She enthusiastically helped and was wonderful.

She has no siblings and her whole family is in China, so there are no female family members.

If I had to have everyone who asked me to be a bridesmaid also be a bridesmaid for me, there wouldn't be enough satin and taffeta left in the country to handle my wedding.

It is not a reciprocal obligation. It simply cannot be.

Really? I felt hurt when someone I invited to my wedding didn't invite me to hers, but the whole bridesmaid thing? What a horror. Be relieved you're not one!

I've been in large wedding parties, but when I got married only wanted my two sisters in my party. It's not personal.

Leave it. You are not close enough to her to know the details of the wedding planning but you want to be a bridesmaid? People move on and make other friends, or have a bunch of siblngs and new siblings in law to honor this way. It's not a reflection on you.

For my bridesmaids I had childhood friends whose weddings I'd been in, and I regret it because it hurt my actual close friends who are a bigger part of my life now.

Anonymous wrote:I had my best friend from HS as a bridesmaid at my wedding. She invited me to her wedding in August but I am not a bridesmaid for her. I don’t know if she’s having any bridesmaids.

I know I shouldn’t feel hurt, but I am a bit. We haven’t stayed in touch that much, but I sort of want to know if there’s a reason she didn’t return the gesture (assuming she is having bridesmaids at all).

Should I just leave this alone, or is there any good way to ask her about it?

It's self-explanatory. At the time of your wedding, you two were close. Many years passed and you two didn't stay in touch. Now you're not close anymore. Why would you be a bridesmaid at her wedding?

Well you haven’t stayed in touch so it’s understandable. And so we you don’t feel like your situation is that bad, a good friend of mine had another friend of ours as a bridesmaid. That friend decided to have a tiny destination wedding and didn’t even invite her to the wedding (she had only 10 people but my friend who had her in the wedding party was miffed.)

Be grateful! Being a bridesmaid is the worst!!

omg leave it alone and use the money to buy a dress you actually LIKE

The difference might be that she has more female family members that had to be included. That is usually the reason for situations like this

Anonymous wrote:I had my best friend from HS as a bridesmaid at my wedding. She invited me to her wedding in August but I am not a bridesmaid for her. I don’t know if she’s having any bridesmaids.

I know I shouldn’t feel hurt, but I am a bit. We haven’t stayed in touch that much, but I sort of want to know if there’s a reason she didn’t return the gesture (assuming she is having bridesmaids at all).

Should I just leave this alone, or is there any good way to ask her about it?

She has people she feels closer to. Sisters, Cousins and/or friends she has more of a relationship with and expects will be more involved in her life in the future.

I had my best friend from HS as a bridesmaid at my wedding. She invited me to her wedding in August but I am not a bridesmaid for her. I don’t know if she’s having any bridesmaids.

I know I shouldn’t feel hurt, but I am a bit. We haven’t stayed in touch that much, but I sort of want to know if there’s a reason she didn’t return the gesture (assuming she is having bridesmaids at all).

Should I just leave this alone, or is there any good way to ask her about it?