What would she have to lose by just showing up and acting pleasant and normal. QB says something bitchy, icy stare given by your mom. Next QB diss, and mom says something about playing nice, we're not in middle school, Larla. Rinse and repeat. She can't let it bother her. Just keep it up. Do not give QB any satisfaction.

I know you said over 55 community, but here are some articles from assisted living and nursing homes:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5721425/Nursing-homes-senior-centers-bullying-no-age-limit.html
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/41353544/ns/health-aging/t/mean-old-girls-seniors-who-bully/#.XNxOhqR7kb4

Google it. Plenty more articles. I'm sure dementia makes it worse. My own mother who had very mild narcissistic tendencies is turning into a bully.

Yeah, I've heard of this among retirees in Florida and ladies in assisted living. Narcissistic personality disorder is alive and well even among the elderly. I find even among my age group, I just prefer having lots of friends, but not a posy. When you have a big group that does things together often, there is often this sort of dynamic. Better to have various groups and various 1-1 friendships. I tell the same thing to middle school daughter by the way.

Some women can be bitchy from their teens until they die. Sadly, they exist everywhere and can make other people miserable. You have to learn to avoid the queen bee and her drones. Of course, you could always gas the give!

Anonymous wrote:OP here, this is not assisted living. Ousters are in their mid 60s. Terrible behavior.

Ridiculous! How awful for your Mom.

They should start posting mean things about the queen bee on Instagram. Maybe her granddaughter will see it.

OP here, this is not assisted living. Ousters are in their mid 60s. Terrible behavior.

So women never change. This middle school mean girl routine is for life. Great.

As for your mom, well at least it's a group of them that have been ousted from the group. Tell them to enjoy the activities they like and enjoy themselves. If others are afraid of the queen bee then so be it. If they haven't worked it out by their age they probably never will.

I'm sure the others will be more upset seeing them enjoy themselves and not bothered by being ousted.

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone move to a place like that unless they absolutely had to is beyond my comprehension. Maybe at 75 but 55? No way.

I'm guessing that Op's mom is closer to 75 than 55. But that's just a guess.

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone move to a place like that unless they absolutely had to is beyond my comprehension. Maybe at 75 but 55? No way.

It’s rare that at least one spouse isn’t well over 55.

Why would anyone move to a place like that unless they absolutely had to is beyond my comprehension. Maybe at 75 but 55? No way.

Considering some may have never grown up from their mean girl persona, AND that there might be dementia and senility involved, it does not surprise me!

That’s why I won’t to moving to one of these places until one of us needs the conveniences they provide.

These kinds of communities provided social opportunities to those who might otherwise be isolated and alone. Sometimes this sort of falling out happens between the friends but they usually aren't mean spirited like middle school mean girls are. It's more of a (usually) temporary personality clash.

My parents moved to an over 55 community several years ago and were having the time of their lives until recently when Mom and a few of her friends were ousted from their group. Seems as though the queen bee decided this with no explanation other than "we were never really friends". Others have confessed their fear of queen bee but have stayed with the original group. This middle school behavior makes me not want to move to such a community. Anyone else experience the same?