Anonymous wrote:We have a rule in my house that invitations are always accepted unless there is a good reason otherwise. Is it possible you can get a sitter for your little one and bring your three-year-old to the concert? I’m sure the boy would be really happy to have someone in the audience rooting for him that wasn’t his family. But, listen, if you can’t make it that’s OK too. Might be nice to go to the next one if you can.

No unfortunately. If DH wasn't going to be out tonight this is exactly what I would do.

OP, you do not need to go. It's far more important you remain a loving and kind neighbor adult to this child than to show up to his recital. Ask him about it later, continue to give love freely, and move along.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of identifying info here OP.

I don't live in DC. No way anyone in my neighborhood will be reading this.

OP, of course you should go. This small act of kindness on your part could stay with him forever as a time when he was a lonely boy, but felt comfortable and welcome in another family's home. From your end, yes, it is a little bit chaotic, but at most elementary school chorus concerts, there are plenty of little kids running around.

Is there a chance your kids will be quiet and watch. Is your DD excited to see her friend sing, if so, I might try to go.

But if you are just too tired, text his parents, say you can't come, and ask if they video it if they can send you a link. Or have him bring the performance on an ipad the next time he comes over. DH misses a lot of our younger son's performances and knowing it is videotaped to watch later seems to be enough for him.

It's really not your fault that you don't want to go, or that you don't go. Usually adults do the inviting of other adults. Children learn this. All children learn this, though, may get their feelings hurt learning this - that it's better not to put people, especially adults on the spot. Adults have a hard time saying no to kids. Op, just because you feel sorry for this child, doesn't change the life lesson. Go if you want. Don't go if you don't want to.

Go. Another 3 and 1 year old won’t even be noticed at an elementary school recital. A 7 year old asked for something you can give relatively easily. Put the baby in a carrier and show up at 6:30.

I would try to go. If you know he's performing late in the program, go late and sit at the back. In your shoes, I'd feel guilty about not going and that would be a stronger, much longer-lasting feeling than the feeling of it being a pain for 30 minutes.

Let us know what you wind up doing! Your description of this boy has touched my heartstrings.

OMG just go to that poor child’s recital...how is this even a question?

It's sweet of him to ask, but you shouldn't feel guilty declining. The timing is terrible for you, and you'd have to bring both the 1- and 3-year-olds, who tend not to be great concert-goers. FWIW, my kids almost never had anyone in the audience beyond parents. (And half the parents at an elementary school concert don't really want to be there, either!) Keep up your one-on-one time with him, which will have a much bigger impact on his life than having you sit in the middle of the big crowd for a school event.

We have a rule in my house that invitations are always accepted unless there is a good reason otherwise. Is it possible you can get a sitter for your little one and bring your three-year-old to the concert? I’m sure the boy would be really happy to have someone in the audience rooting for him that wasn’t his family. But, listen, if you can’t make it that’s OK too. Might be nice to go to the next one if you can.

I've known kids like this. I wouldn't go, but I would make sure to ask about his recital the next day and generally be attentive.

It would be a PITA, but would probably mean the world to this little boy. i say go.

A lot of identifying info here OP.

I have a neighbor who has an 7 year old boy who is very friendly with my 3 year old DD (no one really knows why they've taken to each other as much as they have with the age difference but they have). We moved in last year.

The boy has had not the easiest time of it. Apparently at 3 he lost his biological mother to an illness and his father recently remarried. He is an only child and seems to live a very adult like life for a child (travels, goes to adult restaurants, lives in a very fancy but somewhat sterile home). He's at our house ALL the time (which is fine). And his dad is great and they are clearly very close. And new wife is also very nice but seems to be finding her footing a bit. So the kid is fine just has some history.

Last night he asked us (as a family) to come to his choral recital tonight. But DH has sports practice tonight so I am alone with 3 y/o DD and 1 y/o DS. And I am pregnant and have been VERY ill throughout my first tri. But I am feeling better this past week.

Recital is from 6-7 and he goes on last, DS bedtime is at 7:30. The elementary school is just up the road, less than 5 minute drive.

I really don't want to go. But it just seemed to sweet and innocent and I don't think he has a ton of friends. Until very recently he and his dad lived like 70% of the year abroad and just this spring have moved back to the states full time. I feel like he's very attached to us, and I don't mind that at all! I just don't want to go to this recital but am feeling very guilty about it.

I COULD go but it would be a big pain. Will I break this kid's heart by bowing out? We didn't say we would come, I was kind of vague and said we needed to figure out if we could make it work.