Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:25
Subject: Re:Gift from siblings (twins)
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks for all of the responses. I intentionally made it vague, but it's actually my DD who was the birthday kid. I don't care about how much gifts cost, we got a range and I appreciate all of them, but the twin gift gave me pause only because I'm wondering if the mom intentionally cheaped out as some kind of passive insult. I got a weird vibe from her a couple times at preschool although we've barely interacted. After that, she emailed to thank me for the invitation and asking what DD liked. I made a couple suggestions including books (since they're easy) and she didn't respond. The morning of the party, she emailed to say the sitter would be bringing the twins, which I thought was a little weird since they're involved parents who come to every optional preschool activity such as chaperoning, but whatever. The twins brought a small $8 gift that was neither of my suggestions, which in itself is totally okay. Their family seems well-off.
Anyway, what do you think? F-U from mom because she hates me for some unintended slight? Or just par for the course for a weird cheap, rich mom? I'm handwriting Thank You cards to all of the families including the twins since they did bring a gift. WWYD? Make it less sincere-sounding? I try to write thoughtful TY cards, but thinking about just saying "Thank you for [___], Larla likes it!" #firstworldproblems
A good quote to remember here is “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Please let this go. It's bean-counting.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:21
Subject: Re:Gift from siblings (twins)
This is OP. Thanks for all of the responses. I intentionally made it vague, but it's actually my DD who was the birthday kid. I don't care about how much gifts cost, we got a range and I appreciate all of them, but the twin gift gave me pause only because I'm wondering if the mom intentionally cheaped out as some kind of passive insult. I got a weird vibe from her a couple times at preschool although we've barely interacted. After that, she emailed to thank me for the invitation and asking what DD liked. I made a couple suggestions including books (since they're easy) and she didn't respond. The morning of the party, she emailed to say the sitter would be bringing the twins, which I thought was a little weird since they're involved parents who come to every optional preschool activity such as chaperoning, but whatever. The twins brought a small $8 gift that was neither of my suggestions, which in itself is totally okay. Their family seems well-off.
Anyway, what do you think? F-U from mom because she hates me for some unintended slight? Or just par for the course for a weird cheap, rich mom? I'm handwriting Thank You cards to all of the families including the twins since they did bring a gift. WWYD? Make it less sincere-sounding? I try to write thoughtful TY cards, but thinking about just saying "Thank you for [___], Larla likes it!" #firstworldproblems
Anyway, what do you think? F-U from mom because she hates me for some unintended slight? Or just par for the course for a weird cheap, rich mom? I'm handwriting Thank You cards to all of the families including the twins since they did bring a gift. WWYD? Make it less sincere-sounding? I try to write thoughtful TY cards, but thinking about just saying "Thank you for [___], Larla likes it!" #firstworldproblems
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:20
Subject: Re:Gift from siblings (twins)
Based on the PP's responses, I think you are just going to have to guess based on the family.
We are in an affluent neighborhood, most families appear to have plenty of things for their children already, and most really would not care (and might even be happier) if you just gave one gift. But that may not be true for everybody.
We are in an affluent neighborhood, most families appear to have plenty of things for their children already, and most really would not care (and might even be happier) if you just gave one gift. But that may not be true for everybody.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:16
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Anonymous wrote:When two of your kids, whether siblings or twins, are invited to a birthday party, should they each give a gift, or one extra-nice gift? How about one regular gift?
How do you define regular and extra-nice gifts? I think everyone's budget differs.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:15
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One gift per family is fine, and no it doesn’t have to be more expensive. Pick something the birthday guest will hopefully like and do t worry.
As long as one gift for the twins to share on their birthday is okay, then sure. Two people = two gifts, in both directions.
As a mother of twins, I don't care if someone gives them a single gift or two gifts. We get gifts for kids depending on what we find for them that are either separate or one larger gift. Anyone who says something as snarky as PP is obnoxious. It's a gift people, don't get so snappy about it.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:13
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Anonymous wrote:I give an extra nice gift.
Likewise I give twins an extra nice gift too- $40 versus $20 range.
Each?
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:12
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One gift per family is fine, and no it doesn’t have to be more expensive. Pick something the birthday guest will hopefully like and do t worry.
As long as one gift for the twins to share on their birthday is okay, then sure. Two people = two gifts, in both directions.
Good point.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:06
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
I give an extra nice gift.
Likewise I give twins an extra nice gift too- $40 versus $20 range.
Likewise I give twins an extra nice gift too- $40 versus $20 range.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 15:02
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Anonymous wrote:One gift per family is fine, and no it doesn’t have to be more expensive. Pick something the birthday guest will hopefully like and do t worry.
As long as one gift for the twins to share on their birthday is okay, then sure. Two people = two gifts, in both directions.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 14:55
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
You give two gifts. Two individuals are invited to a party, so each gives their own gift and card.
If you think it will be better to give a larger gift (say $35-$40) then give one gift. But good luck with deciding which ones wants to give the gift. We do two regular gifts because each of my kids wants to hand over a bag to the birthday kid.
If you think it will be better to give a larger gift (say $35-$40) then give one gift. But good luck with deciding which ones wants to give the gift. We do two regular gifts because each of my kids wants to hand over a bag to the birthday kid.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 14:30
Subject: Re:Gift from siblings (twins)
I have a friend who has twins and they do one regular gift from both of them, and honestly it seems chintzy to me. She used to want to do joint gifts with my kid, and I phased it out because she wanted to split the cost in half and she only spent around $15 from both of her kids. It wasn't the money that was the issue, it was just the principle. It wasn't a money issue, either. I think twins should be treated like separate individuals instead of just one unit, but I do think that one nicer gift from both is fine especially if they don't both know the birthday kid that well. If they are close then I think it would be appropriate for each kid to pick out their own gift for the birthday child. Even if it's something from Five Below, it's still a nice idea to have each kid pick out something on their own as individuals.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 14:28
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
One gift per family is fine, and no it doesn’t have to be more expensive. Pick something the birthday guest will hopefully like and do t worry.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 14:10
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Like any other gift, do what feels appropriate for your family. No gift is ever mandatory.
I think it’s nice if you have the money to give either two gifts or an “extra nice” gift, but it’s also fine if it’s not in tie budget as not every family has that “burden”.
I think earlier on, a joint gift is appropriate. As they get older, it’s nice to let them pick for their friend as individuals. But again, that depends on your family dynamics and their respective friendships with the birthday child
I think it’s nice if you have the money to give either two gifts or an “extra nice” gift, but it’s also fine if it’s not in tie budget as not every family has that “burden”.
I think earlier on, a joint gift is appropriate. As they get older, it’s nice to let them pick for their friend as individuals. But again, that depends on your family dynamics and their respective friendships with the birthday child
Anonymous
05/06/2019 14:05
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
Each gives a regular gift = 2 gifts from your family.
Anonymous
05/06/2019 14:04
Subject: Gift from siblings (twins)
When two of your kids, whether siblings or twins, are invited to a birthday party, should they each give a gift, or one extra-nice gift? How about one regular gift?