better than being a player with a lot of aggression but no skill

Isn’t aggressiveness the result of being extremely competitive?

If a player isn’t truly competitive and determined to win, he/she will most likely not going to be aggressive. And if a player isn’t naturally competitive, it will be hard to to be great in sports.

There’s stories about Michael Jordan and C. Ronaldo practicing ping pong (table tennis) constantly so that they can beat all of their basketball and soccer teammates respectively.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you mean your child isn't aggressive in they never win 50/50 balls, won't go push other players off the ball, will let a team mate go fight for the ball instead of getting in there and tussling over the ball- then there isn't much hope. My 12 year old is quick, really smart in knowing where to go/where to pass (coaches say he is the smartest player on the field), and has the most amazing technical skills. If you saw him at a tryout or practice juggling over 100, being the best at any technical or passing drill, being the most focused, and one of the quickest players out there, you would think he was the playmaker on the field but he isn't because he lacks aggressiveness. We have tried getting him private training, coaches have tried drills but he just lacks the desire to physically push kids and get the ball. We live in CA be so he has played club since age 7. So he can dominate in rec soccer and is only mediocre in club. He is now 12 and we realized at 10 he wasn't going to have a really competitive future in soccer so he started playing basketball and baseball for fun.

In contrast his younger brother has awful technical skills, doesn't pass well, is lazy at practice but is so aggressive when he plays n games he makes things happen. Coaches end up loving him. It drives my husband bonkers. If we could combine our kids we would have a superstar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My U12 kid is the same way. He has great tech skills, is fast, and loves the game, but tries to give away the ball rather than drive it forward. He's working on that, but has been passed over for better teams because he doesn't love the goal the way a midfielder should. He gets dropped back to defense, but he still wants to pass rather than drive forward enough. He's just s perfectionist and wants to play it safe. He's starting to drive it forward when he can, is losing the ball, but just needs to practice this to develop his technique. We're hoping that changing clubs will give him a fresh start.

Interesting that you mention perfectionism. DS is highly perfectionistic, too.

Anyone have recommendations for a small club with strong coaching?

where are you?

Anonymous wrote:My U12 kid is the same way. He has great tech skills, is fast, and loves the game, but tries to give away the ball rather than drive it forward. He's working on that, but has been passed over for better teams because he doesn't love the goal the way a midfielder should. He gets dropped back to defense, but he still wants to pass rather than drive forward enough. He's just s perfectionist and wants to play it safe. He's starting to drive it forward when he can, is losing the ball, but just needs to practice this to develop his technique. We're hoping that changing clubs will give him a fresh start.

Interesting that you mention perfectionism. DS is highly perfectionistic, too.

Anyone have recommendations for a small club with strong coaching?

Anonymous wrote:My U12 kid is the same way. He has great tech skills, is fast, and loves the game, but tries to give away the ball rather than drive it forward. He's working on that, but has been passed over for better teams because he doesn't love the goal the way a midfielder should. He gets dropped back to defense, but he still wants to pass rather than drive forward enough. He's just s perfectionist and wants to play it safe. He's starting to drive it forward when he can, is losing the ball, but just needs to practice this to develop his technique. We're hoping that changing clubs will give him a fresh start.

I think you have the wrong idea about defense.

In a proper Club, center defender and wing back are some of the prized positions. Dribbling into the ground is not a good trait. Giving the ball away is not a bad thing. Kids that succeed and so many American coaches can't see this---develop the ability to know when to pass vs when to dribble. Many coaches here see a kid with fancy ball skill and think they are wonderful even though the kid has absolutely zero field intelligence.

Anonymous wrote:My U12 kid is the same way. He has great tech skills, is fast, and loves the game, but tries to give away the ball rather than drive it forward. He's working on that, but has been passed over for better teams because he doesn't love the goal the way a midfielder should. He gets dropped back to defense, but he still wants to pass rather than drive forward enough. He's just s perfectionist and wants to play it safe. He's starting to drive it forward when he can, is losing the ball, but just needs to practice this to develop his technique. We're hoping that changing clubs will give him a fresh start.

Can I ask which club you are currently at?

My U12 kid is the same way. He has great tech skills, is fast, and loves the game, but tries to give away the ball rather than drive it forward. He's working on that, but has been passed over for better teams because he doesn't love the goal the way a midfielder should. He gets dropped back to defense, but he still wants to pass rather than drive forward enough. He's just s perfectionist and wants to play it safe. He's starting to drive it forward when he can, is losing the ball, but just needs to practice this to develop his technique. We're hoping that changing clubs will give him a fresh start.

Defensive players are supposed to hang back, OP. DS's team has some terrific defenders and mid-fielders - best players on the whole team IMO. The defenders never score. The mid-fielders occasionally score. They are very strategic when they take their shots so their shot to goal ratio is very high. Their job, which they do very well, is to keep possession of the ball and set up scoring opportunities.

What does not being aggressive look like? Some coaches, especially in rec who don't understand soccer very well and when you're talking about younger ages, think it's about being selfish and scoring. Is that what you mean?

Or do you mean he doesn't go after 50-50 balls or is uncomfortable with using his body to shield the ball?

Being selfish and wanting to score can be a liability, or it can be an advantage in a good striker. A liability if they don't make passes they should or an advantage because they are determined to get the ball in the goal.

Defensive and mid-fielders are aggressive in a different way by not being afraid of larger players or making the tackle. If your child is shying away from the ball or not going after it aggressively enough that's more of an issue and it may or may not change with a higher level team and a coach who can push him. Give it a try and see what happens. Hopefully he'll have fun either way.

My kid's U9 coach (at a small club) actually works on being more aggressive through drills. We have a fair amount of very skilled players (for U9) but many were just getting pushed off the ball in the fall. In the spring, the coach made a conscious effort to work on this through specific drills that forced the kids to get more physical and competitive with each other in practice. It has worked for most, though I wouldn't say all, and has translated to better play in games. I would think you should try to make the switch to travel now as he would hopefully land with a coach that would be willing to be more patient and work with him on stepping up that part of his game since he is still young.

i will add that travel clubs are different. He may be better off at a smaller club where they take the time to develop kids sometimes more than the bigger clubs b/c they are usually given less skilled kids to start with and they have a greater need to develop the kids. True - not all small clubs are probably like that, but it's worth considering a smaller club that is more focused on the development of players and less cutthroat. That might give your son the opportunity to develop into a more aggressive player.

For some kids it will come but I think you need to be honest about whether it’s personality or something that can be changed. My son was like your son at u9. We moved him to travel because he was frustrated with rec. The first year the coach was very positive about my son and said he would learn to be more aggressive. He had good foot skills and game awareness. DS was no longer a superstar but the coach recognized his promise and was very encouraging. At u10 a new coach came on the scene and did not have any patience for DS’s lack of aggressiveness. We were told that the lack of aggressiveness might be due to confidence so we decided to do some private lessons. It really didn’t help. It was a so-so year but we didn’t want to give up too soon so we returned for u11 believing it would eventually click. Now finishing up year 3 it is clear that DS is simply not going to develop into an aggressive player. His coach has made it clear that his time is up. He tells me that DS is a pleasure to coach but he is too nice and costs the team on the field. We are considering a move to MSI classic.

It is definitely true that it clicks at different points for kids. I have heard that a lot of kids totally change their style when they hit puberty. Other kids listen to the coach and just change gradually. The learn to use their bodies--so they may not be innately aggressive but they may still attack the ball and play physically. One of my kids has changed gradually and one has remained an incredibly skilled payer with very little agressiveness. It is more of a problem as they get older.

DS is on a rec league, and he wants to make the leap to travel.

He has great ball mastery skills and is fast. He is not aggressive at all in games. He's strongest at defense. He hangs back, sets up goal kicks for other players. On the rare occasion that he does get aggressive, he plays really well and scores.

Our coach says that boys click into the aggression at different ages. Is this really true or is possible that his personality is not a great match for soccer?