I am in my 60’s and can tell you, they don’t give a $hit! Sometimes you forget to throw away the old stuff when you’re putting the garbage out so you’re stuck with it a little longer. I think I would like your parents

Depending on your relationship with your parents, you might have to frame accepting a cleaner (chosen and sent by you) as a favor to you, because you are worried about them.

Been in a couple of similar situations. I'd still clean when I visited even if it didn't stay that way or make any real difference.

I arranged for my own trusted, pleasant cleaner to come in every other week to clean and do laundry. Once they got used to having her there, they added tasks. It can be a little daunting for older people to search, vet and hire someone to work in their homes.

Anonymous wrote:The third thing in the trifecta of personal hygiene and cleaning one's house is to stop paying bills even when there's money. My mom just decided that it wasn't important anymore. I would look at their bills.

Personal hygiene and finances are still good. They’ve just gotten so lax about upkeep and cleaning, and I don’t blame them but they need to hire a cleaning service if they’re going to get this bad about it. But they refuse

OP back again. They both still work, and are close to retirement. My dad is terrible at cleaning- just makes a bigger mess. My mom is tired with arthritis and works long hours. I do as much as I can to help, but it becomes a huge mess right after I do and I feel like it’s a waste of my time. They refuse to hire help. I’m at my wits end

Dementia and depression are what I'd be concerned about. My parents just basically stopped cleaning---I lived with them in my late 20's for a year before I got married and it was really awful. 5 years later, my dad had lewy body dementia.

The third thing in the trifecta of personal hygiene and cleaning one's house is to stop paying bills even when there's money. My mom just decided that it wasn't important anymore. I would look at their bills.

In addition to dementia, they could also be overwhelmed, easily exhausted, or in pain (arthritis, back, etc) that makes doing even basic chores extremely painful.

-young person w/chronic pain (from traumatic injury) + older parents who also have chronic pain

Unfortunately as people get older many of them no longer consider important and normal situations to be important any longer. Your refrigerator story is pretty typical, no longer keeping a tidy or clean house is another not to mention personal hygiene and such. At some point adult children need to step in when it reaches a certain level.

Just keep your eyes open in case it gets serious and not just an inconvenience.

Anonymous wrote:Well they’re still in their 60’s

Are they still working? Is the issue with one or both of them? How often do you see them?

Anonymous wrote:Well they’re still in their 60’s

Dementia can begin that early.

Well they’re still in their 60’s

If you post in MidLife Concerns and Eldercare, you will see that it was the first sign for many of us.

I embarrassed my dad into laundering his clothing. He still stunk, but the odor did not linger in my car this time.

The kitchen is constantly filthy. The refrigerator is constantly stuffed with old leftovers and old containers and moldy vegetables. I can only clean it out and clean up for them so often without it just feeling like I’m wasting my time. Can’t seem to convince them to get a cleaner yet. Any suggestions if you’ve dealt with this too?