This is the OP, thanks everyone, most of what you have all said makes sense. I appreciate all your responses. I only have a 1st grader but our current plan is for her to walk to middle school so our thought is to get her one for 6th. Its definitely not happening before that. She does have an old phone that she can call me on thru messenger using our wifi but thats all it does.

Between carpool and standing on the sidelines for several sports I see and hear what the kids are up to. It’s definitely just a sample, but it is the world my kids are in so I have a good sense of what’s going on.

Teacher back again. FYI that both the kids at my school and my own children know reading levels because they are measured regularly at school through the SR or some other regularly administered reading inventory. Most schools administer those assessments at least twice a year. If your child doesn't know his/her "level" try asking him/her what is his/her "lexile."

Academically I can see the student work posted on the bulletin boards. Every kid in the class has a book box and they're all lined up on a shelf above the cubbies, so you can easily see what the kids are reading.

In middle school or high school? That seems odd. I don't think they even have known "reading levels" after third grade or so. Maybe this is the wrong thread.

My DS talks to his close friends about things like grades and test scores, where they were applying to college, etc., so I know some of that stuff. And it's pretty easy to observe that most teens have phones.

I think you wind up gleaning these things over time. But I don't actively try to figure out other kids' reading levels. Nor do I really care about other kids' reading levels.

I think a lot of this is cognitive bias (confirmation or other bias), as demonstrated by the teacher who says 50% of 6th kids have phones and parents (not counting someone whose kid goes to a tiny school, who might have more real insight) saying “95%.” I mean, there are other things that could explain this disparity, but I think a lot could be that you notice what you’re primed to notice or believe— or your kids aren’t friends with the kids who are less likely to have phones, or whatever.

It’s like with anything else... for example, toddlers in strollers watching YouTube. (Different percentage, same principle.) It’s kind of shocking, but before I start lamenting “kids these days” I am forced to admit that the reason it’s shocking is that it’s relatively rare. I don’t actually see it “all the time.” Now, maybe 5% or 10% is still way too high and a problematic trend, but it’s not 30%, let alone 60% or 90%. Similarly, I think parents who think 95% of 6th graders have phones are— in MOST cases— overgeneralizing 60% or 75%. But of course— that’s only my personal guess!

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Academically I can see the student work posted on the bulletin boards. Every kid in the class has a book box and they're all lined up on a shelf above the cubbies, so you can easily see what the kids are reading.

If you are around them, you see the phones since they are in their hands pretty much constantly before and after school. The few kids who don't have phones, my kids come to me to have me text their mom when they want to make plans with them or get in touch with them.

Practically nothing, except for the Model UN club my kid is in. They're mostly good kids in there.

By asking, listening and watching. When my kids say “everyone has” or everyone does” that’s totally unreliable. But I’m part of my kids lives so I see and hear.

As for phones specifically, there are so many ways. During back to school nights, it’s discussed. When my kids go to others’ houses and I ask for a phone number they ask if I want the kids’ number or the parents. When we text invites, it’s always to kids phones because my kids don’t have parents numbers. When I look at my kids phones I can see who they are texting. I could keep going but you get the idea.
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I am a middle school teacher in a public school. I see the phones on the kids so I know who has what. Not every 6th grade kid has a phone. More like 1 in 2.

For my own children, private schools, I know what I know about the classes/students from driving sports carpools and listening to the kids talk. They talk about everything with each other. I don't say a word and just listen. I don't look like I'm listening, and I'm not nodding or frowning or smiling or anything, I just drive. I know which children they perceive as problems, who has phones, whose parents are having problems, what their classmates grades are, what teachers are like, lunchroom antics, playground stuff, who is in the wrong/right reading group … It all comes out.

I’m the last Catholic school poster in the other thread. In our case, it’s a small school with less than 50 kids in a grade and parents are required by the school to volunteer, so there are plenty of opportunities to talk about it. When texting and boy-girl drama occurs, it takes over the classroom social dynamics so even kids without phones like my DD are aware and impacted.

Our school has a pretty broad cross-section of people from across the entire metro area so I can only assume it plays out the same way in public schools. Conversations with neighbors with similar-aged kids don’t give me any reason to doubt that. For every parent I talk to who wants to wait until 7th, there’s another one whose child already has one.

Things like reading levels or other things related to activity in the classroom, I'd have no idea about. For the phones, I can see the kids on them when I pick up my kids, the issue was discussed a lot among the parents I know from ES, and have a couple friends who are middle school teachers who verify that the vast majority of kids have phones starting in 6th grade.

Im mainly talking about the phone thread. But this also applies to reading levels etc. I feel like so many people seem to know what other kids have. How do you know for definite? When i was a teen i would always say " but everyone else has got one" and it wasn't literally true......a lot of kids may have im my peer group but i wasnt looking outside that group at the whole class. So how do you know these things?