Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

No. That’s not what happened at all.

that's how she described it - a "mutual decision."

You act like making a mutual decision with my boss is a bad thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

The OPs issue is that the employee hid the meeting. Would you go out of your way to hide a meeting with your boss’s boss?

Yes. In this case I would. I would take the chance to advocate to myself directly to the decision maker, to take my boss out of the equation. Then when I get a no I know I should look elsewhere. If OP knew about the meeting, she would have told the employee to not discuss it with the big boss, and then gone to the big boss and said "I told her not to discuss this with you!". This way, the employee didn't disobey her boss, and can keep her job until she finds something else.

You sound controlling. I would tell you to shake it off but it’s clear you’re not going to be able to because you’re choosing to take her actions (which are in no way an attack on you) personally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That isn’t what is happening here. I brought the promotion to my boss. I wanted to make it happen. Boss had a few reasons why we couldnt but agreed to took at it again in short order.

Saying to an employee "there are a few reasons, I wasn't gonna push the case with the boss because you know, I need to protect my own promotion, but we might consider a promotion for you in half a year or so" is not something you say to a valued employee.

And by now she's already looking around, so I guess you should start looking for a replacement.

None of what you wrote here happened. This is fiction.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

The OPs issue is that the employee hid the meeting. Would you go out of your way to hide a meeting with your boss’s boss?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

But why purposefully hide it? My boss also has open door. That is why she took the meeting.

Anonymous wrote:That isn’t what is happening here. I brought the promotion to my boss. I wanted to make it happen. Boss had a few reasons why we couldnt but agreed to took at it again in short order.

Saying to an employee "there are a few reasons, I wasn't gonna push the case with the boss because you know, I need to protect my own promotion, but we might consider a promotion for you in half a year or so" is not something you say to a valued employee.

And by now she's already looking around, so I guess you should start looking for a replacement.

I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

No. That’s not what happened at all.

Well, that’s very likely what your employee thinks happened.

Does the empire know you know about their meeting with your boss?

That isn’t what is happening here. I brought the promotion to my boss. I wanted to make it happen. Boss had a few reasons why we couldnt but agreed to took at it again in short order.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

No. That’s not what happened at all.

that's how she described it - a "mutual decision."

Anonymous wrote:You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

No. That’s not what happened at all.

Anonymous wrote:You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

+1

The only time I've done this was when I was screwed over.

You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

I’d like address this but need advice. Employee is seeking a raise and promotion. After discussing this my boss, we made a joint decision that it wasn’t able happen at the time the employee made the request, but we agreed to short time frame to reconsider (6 months). The employee is valued and we wanted to see how some of decision-making factors might look different. I communicated all of this to the employee about a month ago.

She made an appointment to talk with my boss about career advancement. She went out of her way to hide this from me.

My boss reiterated the exact same message that we had agreed to prior.

It’s not the request for a conversation that is the problem. It’s the fact that she purposefully hid it from me.

WWYD? I definitely feel that our relationship is impacted.