Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 18:29     Subject: Re:I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Im 37. I know its age too. And for the record I don't wear a bikini all but 2-3 times a year on vaca with DH. Its not that its a huge deal its just kinda depressing! I do botox and that helps dramatically but I know in the next few years Ill need some of that fat back in my face and let things slide a bit.


Are you pretty and did you always get attention/good fortune due to your looks?
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 18:18     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Mommy makeover after your last
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 18:04     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
This could describe me, too, OP, other than that I'm 42. There's no way I'm going to starve myself to be 10 pounds lighter--which is what I would need to do. I wouldn't have the energy for the workouts I love, or to deal with the general stresses of having three kids and working FT.

And the thing is, I still look great in a bikini. A little cellulite on my thighs, meh. I'll take it over constant stress and starvation.

As for the best possible version of myself, for me, that means being strong, healthy, kind, and balanced. I love my work too much to give it up and I love my kids too much to model thin-obsession for them. The best possible *physical* version of oneself changes over time because reality.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 16:11     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ugh, with 3 kids don't you have something better to do than stress about your abs? Gain the 10 lbs, have a little pooch in you bikini--no one cares.


+1 You are facing the a$$ or face conundrum. There are fillers but that is a slippery slope. Will we still be doing this at 40, 50, 60 and 70+? When can one just accept themself as they are?


What's wrong with wanting to be the best possible version of oneself? For some people it's career, and for others it's fitness and maintaining one's shape.





The problem is stated in the op: childbearing and age CHANGE your body.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 14:54     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ugh, with 3 kids don't you have something better to do than stress about your abs? Gain the 10 lbs, have a little pooch in you bikini--no one cares.


+1 You are facing the a$$ or face conundrum. There are fillers but that is a slippery slope. Will we still be doing this at 40, 50, 60 and 70+? When can one just accept themself as they are?


What's wrong with wanting to be the best possible version of oneself? For some people it's career, and for others it's fitness and maintaining one's shape.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 14:52     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
You're not alone, OP. I'm 38 with two young kids, have always been naturally slender with a flat tummy (and it was still pretty flat after kid #1, but after kid #2 it was game over). I lost the baby weight quickly both times without really trying, but now I just don't look the same no matter how thin or fit I am (and I am thin and fit). I am grateful for my family, and my husband doesn't really care that I no longer have my old abs, but I absolutely despise this new body. I don't look at myself in the mirror anymore if I can help it, just focus on my kids. It sucks!
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 14:40     Subject: Re:I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Op here. Im 37. I know its age too. And for the record I don't wear a bikini all but 2-3 times a year on vaca with DH. Its not that its a huge deal its just kinda depressing! I do botox and that helps dramatically but I know in the next few years Ill need some of that fat back in my face and let things slide a bit.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 14:38     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
How old are you? It isn’t just kids, it is also age!
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 14:28     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
I think it's natures way of inflicting some modesty on you. You are not young. You are a mother. You don't need to be (so) hot. Priorities, other than bathing suits are reflected in those 10 pounds.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 13:23     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Anonymous wrote:Three kids later and I have workout consistently and never gained more than 25 or so pounds. Really watched my diet while nursing and was able to shed the weight mostly by the year mark each time. I have a lot more muscle mass (thanks boutique fitness craze) and generally am happy BUT what really annoys me is I have to keep my general weight much lower to look equally as good as I did in a bathing suit before kids. I am SURE of my pre pregnancy weight and I know his sounds bizarre but its true. The skin on my stomach especially needs me to be at my lowest low before it goes away. I have a 4 pack and a very strong core but still require this very low body fat that was never required before when I was younger. Same with my thighs. The cellulite really doesn't budge unless Im at this -10 mark despite decades now of thigh exercises...lifting quite heavy too! I just am curious if anyone else has had this strange backwards weight thing post pregnancies. Its a catch 22 because Im approaching the point where my face would look better with the 10 pounds. Ugh!


I think if you DIDN'T have this issue you would be abnormal. I've accepted that there is no way I am going to look the same as I did before. Besides the changes from pregnancy, there's the effect of aging too, and I think we're all much better off accepting these changes. Back in the day I used to be obsessed about having a flat tummy and fitting into a size 2 or 0. Now I focus on being healthy and looking healthy.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 12:48     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Anonymous wrote:Ugh, with 3 kids don't you have something better to do than stress about your abs? Gain the 10 lbs, have a little pooch in you bikini--no one cares.




+1 You are facing the a$$ or face conundrum. There are fillers but that is a slippery slope. Will we still be doing this at 40, 50, 60 and 70+? When can one just accept themself as they are?
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 12:41     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Ugh, with 3 kids don't you have something better to do than stress about your abs? Gain the 10 lbs, have a little pooch in you bikini--no one cares.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 11:45     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Anonymous wrote:It's not bizarre. Pregnancy really alters the woman's body (and you had 3!). More for some than others. Stomach, hips, feet etc. add age onto that. You have to accept you will never look like the ore pregnancy 20 something.
Accept it, your body did an amazing thing carrying and sustaining and birthing 3 children. Stay healthy but don't obsess over the look.


I realized my friend’s mom isn’t skinny.

Let me explain

My friends mom lives nearby and I see her frequently. I’ve always thought she was really pretty and one of those thinner older ladies.

The other day I saw her walking in from he parking lot into a store while I was driving by. I guess I realized I’m usually sitting and talking to her. And seeing her walking in the lot, I realized no she is not thin. I also realized she’s among the thinnest older ladies I know. *aging changes us*

Anyways, she is still a youthful grandma. She runs a garden plot co-op and learn-to-garden classes in her community. She is always genuinely smiling. Remained active over the years.

We are not all going to stay trim.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 11:39     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
It's not bizarre. Pregnancy really alters the woman's body (and you had 3!). More for some than others. Stomach, hips, feet etc. add age onto that. You have to accept you will never look like the ore pregnancy 20 something.
Accept it, your body did an amazing thing carrying and sustaining and birthing 3 children. Stay healthy but don't obsess over the look.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2019 11:37     Subject: I have to be 10 pounds UNDER my pre pregnancy weight to look as thin as I was back then
Three kids later and I have workout consistently and never gained more than 25 or so pounds. Really watched my diet while nursing and was able to shed the weight mostly by the year mark each time. I have a lot more muscle mass (thanks boutique fitness craze) and generally am happy BUT what really annoys me is I have to keep my general weight much lower to look equally as good as I did in a bathing suit before kids. I am SURE of my pre pregnancy weight and I know his sounds bizarre but its true. The skin on my stomach especially needs me to be at my lowest low before it goes away. I have a 4 pack and a very strong core but still require this very low body fat that was never required before when I was younger. Same with my thighs. The cellulite really doesn't budge unless Im at this -10 mark despite decades now of thigh exercises...lifting quite heavy too! I just am curious if anyone else has had this strange backwards weight thing post pregnancies. Its a catch 22 because Im approaching the point where my face would look better with the 10 pounds. Ugh!