Anonymous wrote:DH goes off to do his own thing most mornings, so I handle breakfast and cleaning. The kids bicker and fight constantly. The house is a mess and by the time DH comes home it’s time for me to make lunch and clean that up. Then there are errands and activities. If I don’t plan something fun, then everyone just sits with devices all day. I’m so sick of it and would rather go to the office 7 days a week!

Not sure if this is an option, but made life more manageable and enjoyable. We have instacart, but there are a number of similar companies for grocery shopping and have someone come clean. Now the weekends are not so overwhelming. Enjoy bringing kids to their activities and am not worried about getting it all done.

Why is your spouse leaving? Why are you allowing it without some negotiation? Why are you allowing yourself to get walked on? Why do you need to "plan something fun"? Why can't your kids go outside and play in the neighborhood or be bored? Why can't you tell them they can have their tech time AFTER they make their beds/straighten up their rooms/clean their bathroom/empty the dishwasher?

So many questions...

A SAHM

If you don’t like your life figure out how to change it. But remember you aren’t going to change other people. If your husband is t an activity planner, just accept it and realize that you get to always do what you want since you are planning it.

I’d suggest if you can afford it get a house cleaner every other week.

How old are the kids? I would get them scheduled in the mornings and limit the screen time. They can help tidy and clean up I assume?
Then do something fun together as a family in the afternoon.

Start getting up and going to the gym before DH wakes up.

How old are the kids? They should have chores to help you with cleaning if they are over the age of 4.
Also, you do need to schedule breaks for yourself. It sounds like you may need to leave at lunchtime so that DH handles lunch and cleanup.
For screentime, institute a house rule of no screens until after 4 or 5 pm. They will whine that they are bored the first few weekends, and then they will figure out stuff to do.

Can you enroll your kids in more activities on the weekends to give the weekend structure?

My 6 year old is in 4 weekend activities, 2 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday mornings. DH takes him to all of these while I get to have that time for myself (about 4 hours each day). During that time I clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop or just have time to myself. Then we usually go out for lunch together on Saturdays and then plan a fun activity for the afternoon (like a fair/festival/outdoor activity). I usually host a playdate or dinner for friends one night (usually Sunday night). That pretty much fills up our weekend.

I love weekends. Find an activity for yourself, OP!

Alternate weekends and get out of the house first thing. Somewhere to run around and then one errand. Cleaning can be post lunch when everyone is resting, digesting and spring laundry or whatever.

I feel you, OP.
Now that the weather is nicer, can the kids go outside? Or all of you take a walk / go to a park together?

Also, we have implemented a Saturday morning cleaning routine. No tv / play dates until particular areas get cleaned.

Alternate weekends. Stop being a martyr.

Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH it’s time to start alternating. Every other Saturday, you get to do your own thing in the morning while he stays home and takes care of the kids, including cleaning up and making lunch.

Yup.

Tell your DH it’s time to start alternating. Every other Saturday, you get to do your own thing in the morning while he stays home and takes care of the kids, including cleaning up and making lunch.

This is me sometimes -I learned just to take more control. Every weekend, I plan something for myself. I am about to go to the gym and tomorrow made plans to meet a friend for coffee --- even small things really do make me appreciate being off work.

DH goes off to do his own thing most mornings, so I handle breakfast and cleaning. The kids bicker and fight constantly. The house is a mess and by the time DH comes home it’s time for me to make lunch and clean that up. Then there are errands and activities. If I don’t plan something fun, then everyone just sits with devices all day. I’m so sick of it and would rather go to the office 7 days a week!