Anonymous wrote:I had a friend with end stage cancer and she put out a cooler. I was really grateful because then her family didn't have to stay home waiting for a food delivery in her last days.

Also, we didn't have to intrude on her space.

I agree that the specific meal requests are a bit much.

We've gotten meal train deliveries from friends and family. We've given meals as well. I usually check in about what people would like. I've sometimes not liked the food. But I was always very grateful to have that sense of the interconnectedness of my community. Meal trains are nice.

But yes, the specific recipe thing is odd and quite a bit much. I would not want to be married to that guy. Socially clueless.

End stage cancer is totally different! Totally. And in that case, preferences and recipes would even be fine.

I had a friend with end stage cancer and she put out a cooler. I was really grateful because then her family didn't have to stay home waiting for a food delivery in her last days.

Also, we didn't have to intrude on her space.

I agree that the specific meal requests are a bit much.

We've gotten meal train deliveries from friends and family. We've given meals as well. I usually check in about what people would like. I've sometimes not liked the food. But I was always very grateful to have that sense of the interconnectedness of my community. Meal trains are nice.

But yes, the specific recipe thing is odd and quite a bit much. I would not want to be married to that guy. Socially clueless.

Anonymous wrote:Well shoot. I must be one of these awful entitled people because I see nothing wrong with this. It’s voluntary.

I’ve had friends who have had babies and I wanted to make meals for them but I was so afraid the food would be wasted. I mean really-what if they hate what you bring or already have too much of something and you go to all this effort just for your food to wind up in the trash?

I would like having these kinds of specific instructions.

Then ASK! The point is that it’s rude to be the initiator with complicated recipes. There’s a big difference between “We love things like spaghetti & meatballs, Veggie soups, black beans & rice and chili” versus “Here are 30 complicated recipes.” The term “cremini mushrooms” should never appear in a request for meals. Never.

Anonymous wrote:In 2004 (so this was a genx family), friend requests meals for her family for a week due to her serious illness.

She decides to head out of town with kids, but asks us to continue meals for her husband who was staying in town to work. I don't think so. Dude can open his own can of soup or get takeout.

That's precisely what someone should have put together for the husband:

-a can of soup
-a menu for local takeout
-a box of cereal (maybe the set of little individual serving sizes)
-a frozen pizza

Anonymous wrote:Well shoot. I must be one of these awful entitled people because I see nothing wrong with this. It’s voluntary.

I’ve had friends who have had babies and I wanted to make meals for them but I was so afraid the food would be wasted. I mean really-what if they hate what you bring or already have too much of something and you go to all this effort just for your food to wind up in the trash?

I would like having these kinds of specific instructions.

If I am bringing a meal and don't have a lot of specific instructions, I try and do something that is easily frozen and won't take up a ton of space in the freezer (can be frozen flat in ziploc bags). Vegetarian lentil soup is one of my go to meals. Chili is another good one if they eat meat.

Meal trains are nice, and we always participate...but I would never request or allow one for my family. I politely said "no thanks" when people offered to organize them after I had children or when there was a death in my family. I don't understand why people need them. I mean, order takeout if you don't want to eat a bowl of cereal or microwave something for dinner.

Honestly, I find meal trains for new parents far more egregious than a second baby shower. Rallying folks for meals and laundry (wtf?) for weeks on end is far worse than a baby shower. People like parties and are happy to bring a little gift. Cooking and cleaning however is just nuts.

If someone has end stage cancer or their spouse dies, that's a different story. Although I still wouldn't feel comfortable accepting the help. I always contribute (pretty sure you have to when you are included on the email blast/scheduler), but I always feel like it's a bit of an imposition for the recipient---which is why I imagine some people opt for the outdoor cooler.

In 2004 (so this was a genx family), friend requests meals for her family for a week due to her serious illness.

She decides to head out of town with kids, but asks us to continue meals for her husband who was staying in town to work. I don't think so. Dude can open his own can of soup or get takeout.

Well shoot. I must be one of these awful entitled people because I see nothing wrong with this. It’s voluntary.

I’ve had friends who have had babies and I wanted to make meals for them but I was so afraid the food would be wasted. I mean really-what if they hate what you bring or already have too much of something and you go to all this effort just for your food to wind up in the trash?

I would like having these kinds of specific instructions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hysterical!

I have a GenX version story. Circa 2004, I was working at a big law firm and one of the other associates had her first child. She sent out an email to the entire firm (partners, associates, staff, EVERYONE), requesting specific meals with a list of crazy instructions of things they could not eat. She also included requests to visit their house to do their laundry because there was so much with the new baby and suggested blocks of time when someone could come over and hold the baby while she napped.

At the time I was single and childless. I howled and howled with my other single and childless coworkers.

I am pleased to report this issue transcends generations. Millennials just have a more convenient distribution channel.

I can assure you with 100% certainty that your colleagues with children were laughing even harder.

Now that I have kids, I think I would totally lose it. But even as a clueless person about kids, I thought it was nuts that she sent this to 800+ people. She left the firm within a year. Not sure if it was her choice.

Anonymous wrote:Hysterical!

I have a GenX version story. Circa 2004, I was working at a big law firm and one of the other associates had her first child. She sent out an email to the entire firm (partners, associates, staff, EVERYONE), requesting specific meals with a list of crazy instructions of things they could not eat. She also included requests to visit their house to do their laundry because there was so much with the new baby and suggested blocks of time when someone could come over and hold the baby while she napped.

At the time I was single and childless. I howled and howled with my other single and childless coworkers.

I am pleased to report this issue transcends generations. Millennials just have a more convenient distribution channel.

I can assure you with 100% certainty that your colleagues with children were laughing even harder.

Anonymous wrote:Awww...I feel bad for them. They're trying. Somebody mean posted that on the internet.

They should have sent that to a limited audience.

No. Even to a limited audience, that was ridiculous and the height of entitlement. I was in a babysitting co-op 10 years ago here in DC with 25 families. We always provided food for families. The requesting family simply listed any allergies. Links to recipes and directions to leave the food out in a cooler wouldn’t fly for a second, nor would it cross anyone’s mind to do so.

This is amazing. 30 recommended meals with recipes. If they don’t feel like talking they will leave a cooler in the side yard. Can’t make this stuff up.

Hysterical!

I have a GenX version story. Circa 2004, I was working at a big law firm and one of the other associates had her first child. She sent out an email to the entire firm (partners, associates, staff, EVERYONE), requesting specific meals with a list of crazy instructions of things they could not eat. She also included requests to visit their house to do their laundry because there was so much with the new baby and suggested blocks of time when someone could come over and hold the baby while she napped.

At the time I was single and childless. I howled and howled with my other single and childless coworkers.

I am pleased to report this issue transcends generations. Millennials just have a more convenient distribution channel.

Awww...I feel bad for them. They're trying. Somebody mean posted that on the internet.

They should have sent that to a limited audience.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2019/04/19/couple-expecting-first-baby-wants-free-meals-therapy-from-neighbors/amp/

Have folks posted about this before. This is classic!!