OP are you opposed to co-sleeping? You might both feel better when you're better rested...

I've heard good things about PEP classes.

But tbh, you might get a huge help out of reading Janet Lansbury's book "No Bad Kids" and listening to her podcast Unruffled.

I am not sure why you are ruling out books, but wanted to mention this because she's been so transformative for my relationship with my kids.

Children usually act out with their primary caregiver, it's a sign they trust them. So they hold everything in from the day and when mom is there, explode! This is normal.

I think you're stretched thin, and it's adding to your stress and anxiety, which is adding to hers. You don't mention a partner, are you a single mom? If you are a single mom, something that might help is hiring a helper in the mornings. I'm a single mom and this is not something I could afford, but it would have changed my life. If you have a partner, having them help you in the mornings will reduce stress for all.

Be proactive. If you hate being late in the morning, maybe get everything ready the night before and wake up 30 mins earlier for some alone time. When you're with your daughter, do you give her enough face time and cuddles? Give her undivided attention before the day starts. If she keeps hating daycare, mayeb there's something there?

DD is 3. An absolute delight most of the time. Teachers and parents friends all say how sweet and well behaved she is.

Except with me, mom. Attached to my leg, lashes out/hitting at mom only, won’t sleep alone/without me - major anxiety at night, fights before school, sensitive to noise/stimulai all of a sudden, gets nervous in classes (like little gym) and birthday parties.

We are on a waiting list for a child psychologist but I’m worried the problem is me. Am I a bad parent?

I am not a natural disciplinarian and nothing works. Sticker charts - fail; no tv/screen time ban - fail, time out- fail...cry it out at night - fail.

I’m exhausted and losing it. I now cry every morning because I’m so tired (I’ve barely slept in months since this started) and 3rd “I don’t want to go to school” meltdown before 9 am is getting under my skin. I’m late to work everyday and my performance is not great.

Where do you go for parenting help? Not a book - like actual help.