Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

Your manager is telling you to do whatever you need to do to make it work. If that means talking the call in a public place, etc. sounds like you have been given tacit permission.

There are some legalities with that. That's definitely not what she meant.

I assumed it was relevant since you mentioned it...? As in that’s the kind of accommodation that would be helpful. I understand you are stressed and have a lot of reasons why it won’t work. Can you work with her on a way it -could- work instead? Managers like solutions, not to be told of problems and expected to fix them.

Oh, I never presented this as a problem. I declined the meeting thinking it was a one time change and got jumped on for it. She doesn't even know DH is deployed and that this is causing issues.

I usually have the times I am not available (including mornings and evenings before and after work) blocked off on my calendar. If anyone wants to add a meeting, it will get automatically rejected, because it's a conflict. So people can just move things around until they find a time that works for everyone, or they can have the meeting without me. I don't need to explain to anyone why I am not at work at 7AM. Once in a blue moon when we have a big project due, sure. Regularly, forget about it. I'd rather change jobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

Your manager is telling you to do whatever you need to do to make it work. If that means talking the call in a public place, etc. sounds like you have been given tacit permission.

There are some legalities with that. That's definitely not what she meant.

I assumed it was relevant since you mentioned it...? As in that’s the kind of accommodation that would be helpful. I understand you are stressed and have a lot of reasons why it won’t work. Can you work with her on a way it -could- work instead? Managers like solutions, not to be told of problems and expected to fix them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

I don't think it's reasonable to tell someone to just make 7am work.

Yeah that's unreasonable. It's one thing if it was 10am and now it's 9am. 7am is not at all reasonable. OP, do you have anyone else at all who can help with drop-off? Who's your emergency contact?

I don't have one. DH and I have been trying our whole time here to make friends and it never happened, so...we just don't have one. Our parents are listed on the paperwork, but they're out of state. I spent a year trying to find a college student or nanny, but there weren't many options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

Your manager is telling you to do whatever you need to do to make it work. If that means talking the call in a public place, etc. sounds like you have been given tacit permission.

There are some legalities with that. That's definitely not what she meant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

I don't think it's reasonable to tell someone to just make 7am work.

Yeah that's unreasonable. It's one thing if it was 10am and now it's 9am. 7am is not at all reasonable. OP, do you have anyone else at all who can help with drop-off? Who's your emergency contact?

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

I can’t believe that among 20 people, you would be the only one with a conflict. Age doesn’t matter here.
Speak up.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

Your manager is telling you to do whatever you need to do to make it work. If that means talking the call in a public place, etc. sounds like you have been given tacit permission.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

I don't think it's reasonable to tell someone to just make 7am work.

I'm the youngest in the group, so no one else has conflicts. It starts at 7 am now - about 20 people. My manager says, "Just make it work." I know I'm pretty stressed with the deployment and probably missing something obvious.

How many people are in this meeting? I had the same problem last fall and I said "hey can we move it back at least 30 minutes, I can't get in that early due to childcare" and it was fine. But it was also a pretty small meeting, usually 4-5 people.

Is the meeting now before regular business hours? Are you the only member of your department who attends or can attend?

Anonymous wrote:Speak up. Explain your circumstances to your boss. Get him/her to advocate for you. As a boss, I’d be happy to do that for a great employee.

+1 - there's also a good chance it conflicts with someone else's drop off too.

If you can't change the meeting or have someone else go, is there any way you could drop your child off at a friend's house on that day?

Speak up. Explain your circumstances to your boss. Get him/her to advocate for you. As a boss, I’d be happy to do that for a great employee.

The manager of another department recently moved a weekly meeting back on hour, and it conflicts with my child's drop-off now.

Relevant details:

- DH is deployed for another 8-10 months. It's me.
- rural area with no cell service in my neighborhood - calling from the car isn't an option
- for the same reason, I can't hire anyone to do drop-offs. believe me, I've tried!
- we are not allowed to participate in conference calls in public areas (coffee houses, libraries, etc)

What would you do?