Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of a man proposing. Don’t care what others do. But there are some of us that like convention, and like traditional roles. We shouldn’t be judged anymore than people who don’t.

I disagree. There are conventions that are extremely sexist and I think it is important to single them out. Like asking permission to the woman’s father, for example.

I like this. Again, we can respectfully disagree. But this also has religious roots for a lot of people. It’s often cherry picked and criticized, but I see it as a sign of respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of a man proposing. Don’t care what others do. But there are some of us that like convention, and like traditional roles. We shouldn’t be judged anymore than people who don’t.

I disagree. There are conventions that are extremely sexist and I think it is important to single them out. Like asking permission to the woman’s father, for example.

+1 I think society has progressed a great deal in the past 20 years, and I agree this is an antiquated tradition that reinforces sexism. You are worthy as a woman if some dude decides you're worthy of a proposal? Oh and your worth is determined by the size and value of your ring? Especially if it's all carefully curated for public consumption on social media? No thanks. There are plenty of ways to be loving and romantic in a relationship without this particular tradition.

Anonymous wrote:I am loving this thread. Agree with cute old fashioned tradition, participate if you want but not necessary. This is a weird American thing, Europeans have been having mature conversations about their future together, without the brouhaha of formal proposal, for a long time.

Like many decades. This country has cheerleaders. That says a lot about gender equality in the US.

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of a man proposing. Don’t care what others do. But there are some of us that like convention, and like traditional roles. We shouldn’t be judged anymore than people who don’t.

I disagree. There are conventions that are extremely sexist and I think it is important to single them out. Like asking permission to the woman’s father, for example.

Anonymous wrote:They don't. They can propose too. Where have you been???

Exactly. SHO

Because women like the power in that dynamic of being the one to accept or reject.

I like the idea of a man proposing. Don’t care what others do. But there are some of us that like convention, and like traditional roles. We shouldn’t be judged anymore than people who don’t.

I am loving this thread. Agree with cute old fashioned tradition, participate if you want but not necessary. This is a weird American thing, Europeans have been having mature conversations about their future together, without the brouhaha of formal proposal, for a long time.

There is a ton of signaling to the man before he proposes. He generally knows before he asks that she will say yes. I just asked my husband and he said yes, there doesn't have to be an elaborate engagement moment. As educated ambitious adults, life plans came up in conversation on a regular basis and what role we would play in each others lives.

Why should she? She will be compromising all the gains she has made on her own.
If so, get a pre-nup.

I think it's a hold over from previous eras when women were considered property..first she had her fathers surname, then she courted and her beau asked her father for permission to marry her and then she took on her husbands name to signify she now belongs to him.

Please. My DH had NO fear of rejection. It was a foregone conclusion.

I think it’s a cute old-fashioned tradition.

They don’t. Just like they don’t have to wait for a man to ask them out.

I think if women are honest, they know that they enjoy the validation of getting asked and would dread dealing with rejection like men do.

They don't. They can propose too. Where have you been???

Serious question! Why should a woman wait for the man to propose? If she’s ready to make that next step, why can’t she propose to him?