Anonymous wrote:A legal adult should be treated like one, not like a middle schooler. If the grades are great, wouldn't your DC likely share the news? If they aren't, what are you going to do about it? Yelling at them, reminding them that they'll lose their aid or threatening not to pay tuition isn't likely to help them do better.

If you think your kid at 18 is a legal adult who should be treated like one, then that means cutting off all financial assistance. I'm a legal adult and I don't have anyone paying my bills for me.

My kids have some college loans but I'm the one paying for most it so ultimately, I have the final say. They know if their GPA drops lower than 3.0, then I'm not paying for that and they will have to switch to community college and working until they get their act together.

Some kids are ready for parenting light at 18 and others (unfortunately) require more oversight. It is hard to know what you have until they are there.

Don't judge other families, because you may have lucked out. And don't assume that this issue boils down to your superior parenting.

Anonymous wrote:A legal adult should be treated like one, not like a middle schooler. If the grades are great, wouldn't your DC likely share the news? If they aren't, what are you going to do about it? Yelling at them, reminding them that they'll lose their aid or threatening not to pay tuition isn't likely to help them do better.

There would be no yelling, but there is a hefty merit scholarship at stake. We ask that they reach out and let us know what is happening, and what they intend to do about it.

Student knows that we, his parents, will not make up the difference in tuition if he loses the scholarship. He would be required to borrow the difference on his own, or try to transfer to a less expensive college.

If there were some very serious, extenuating circumstance (serious illness, but for most of those, a student can negotiate an incomplete or withdrawal) we might bail them out. But the kid doesn't know that.

A legal adult should be treated like one, not like a middle schooler. If the grades are great, wouldn't your DC likely share the news? If they aren't, what are you going to do about it? Yelling at them, reminding them that they'll lose their aid or threatening not to pay tuition isn't likely to help them do better.

Anyone have links for these forms in MD.
Interesting the article advises to complete the forms in both the home state and state attending school.

Four forms -

FERPA for access to grades

HIPAA authorization, medical power of attorney, and durable power of attorney for medical emergency

No, neither of mine did. Both shared most of their grades with us as far as we know. One graduated with honors so we assume he was telling us the truth, and the other went on to grad school and graduated with honors. We really wanted both to be independent and hoped they would make good decisions in college (as they generally did in high school) so didn't want to be micromanaging.

On the health side interestingly one of the schools did report, by their policy, an alcohol related incident with one kid even though DC was over 21 at the time. So lack of a FERPA waiver didn't seem to stop that flow of info.

My son signed the waiver for his references, so that he could not see them. You get better letters this way.

My son signed all the access available for me - medical, and grades. Our arrangement is longstanding - I get access, but I don't pry.

Here's why:
Medical because everyone needs a person and until he has a person in his life, it will remain me. Plus, college is the age that serious mental illness often manifests. And my son plays rugby.

We three have seen enough illness in our family to know how important it is to speak for the other loved one. I've been a faculty member so I know the difference between a normal parent wanting to talk (for example, kid has an illness and can't talk so I want to discuss how to get the work) and an intrusive one (why did you fail my angel?). My kid trusts that I will only be the former type.

Answer is in subjecting/heading.

OP-Do you mean this question regarding the college application (re: recommendations) or once they are enrolled (to see their grades)?

Anonymous wrote:My first priority was getting a HIPAA waiver, and a medical directive (or whatever it was called) allowing us to make medical decisions in the event he was unable to do so himself.

FERPA is not of concern to us, as child manages his academics well, and knows he would lose a scholarship if his grades are too low. We do have a verbal agreement with that he will share grades at the end of every semester.

https://www.consumerreports.org/health-privacy/help-your-college-age-child-in-a-medical-emergency/

My first priority was getting a HIPAA waiver, and a medical directive (or whatever it was called) allowing us to make medical decisions in the event he was unable to do so himself.

FERPA is not of concern to us, as child manages his academics well, and knows he would lose a scholarship if his grades are too low. We do have a verbal agreement with that he will share grades at the end of every semester.

Yike, previous poster here. Sorry I misunderstood your question. For applicants, it is best to sign the waiver. That lets recommenders be candid, which of course Admissions offices like to see. If you do not sign it, the colleges worry that recommenders were very guarded. So yes, have your kid waive that right.

No, school said it is usually not necessary.

My child shares her grades readily...plus they wind up needing transcripts often (like to apply for internships) so you are likely to see them.

If you have a different type of kid, and they could lose merit aid based upon their GPA...you might need it.

Just curious if this is typical or not. Thinking we might ask our son do sign one.