Id hope she feels OK with both. I’d love to have adult time and for her to get to know my kid. If she’s only in town for one night, I’d probably try to find a sitter. If she was looking to stay with me for a few days I’d try to find a sitter for night or switch a few days. I like the idea of having friends over kid is sleeping also

Anonymous wrote:So you only have part-time custody and the friend is coming to visit during the time when you do have custody but she doesn't want your kid to be there? Normally I'm all for child-free adult time, but it is a little crappy that she wants you to not have your kid when you only have them half the time. If I were the friend in the situation I'd relent. A friend wanting to see a friend who has full custody of her kids? That one can definitely request child-free time.

I am the visiting friend. I have limited vacation time, travel frequently as it is, and being away from my own kids to visit someone else whose kids are in the toddler stage seems less attractive than having 1:1 time with my friend. I'd like to see the kid; I just don't want to most of my visit outside of nap/bed-times with the kid as this necessarily means we'd be in semi-toddler mode (especially since she is accustomed to being very child-centric... which is fine, but not my own style necessarily at this stage of my own parenthood so it feels particularly child-centric).

Since the mother doesn't have full-time custody, I'd like to arrange the visit to be primarily when the child isn't there. My friend is a first time mother, needs some help over the summer, and really loves her child - as do I - and I'm not sure the request is going to go over very well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my friend would prefer to see me without my kids. I would prefer to see her without my kids, too. But we don't have the money for a sitter for that. So she graciously puts up with them. My friend is child free.

Why can't your spouse watch your kids so you can hang out with your friend?

Sometimes he does. But he's friends with her DH too.

Why don't you have them over for a dinner party instead? That's what we do often. We cook and put the kids to sleep. Friends come over around 7:30 when the kids are asleep.

We do that. We also meet for dinner at an area near a park, so the kids can run off while we hang out. These are both examples of graciously putting up with the kids.

No, I wouldn't be offended. I'd explain the circumstances and try to work around kid's schedule. As a toddler, he/she should be going to bed pretty early--between 7-8, so that shouldn't interfere too much anyway.

Would I be offended?

No. I’d be happy to have someone who hasn’t “mom frinded” me.

Why would you find it offensive that someone likes you?

Anonymous wrote:Assuming that friend is traveling to see you without her own kids and you have part-time custody of your toddler.

You're crazy

I wouldn't be offended. I would rather hang out without my kids, too. It's either logistically possible for you or it's not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my friend would prefer to see me without my kids. I would prefer to see her without my kids, too. But we don't have the money for a sitter for that. So she graciously puts up with them. My friend is child free.

Why can't your spouse watch your kids so you can hang out with your friend?

Sometimes he does. But he's friends with her DH too.

Why don't you have them over for a dinner party instead? That's what we do often. We cook and put the kids to sleep. Friends come over around 7:30 when the kids are asleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my friend would prefer to see me without my kids. I would prefer to see her without my kids, too. But we don't have the money for a sitter for that. So she graciously puts up with them. My friend is child free.

Why can't your spouse watch your kids so you can hang out with your friend?

Sometimes he does. But he's friends with her DH too.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my friend would prefer to see me without my kids. I would prefer to see her without my kids, too. But we don't have the money for a sitter for that. So she graciously puts up with them. My friend is child free.

Why can't your spouse watch your kids so you can hang out with your friend?

So you only have part-time custody and the friend is coming to visit during the time when you do have custody but she doesn't want your kid to be there? Normally I'm all for child-free adult time, but it is a little crappy that she wants you to not have your kid when you only have them half the time. If I were the friend in the situation I'd relent. A friend wanting to see a friend who has full custody of her kids? That one can definitely request child-free time.

I would expect that to be the case, especially if they were traveling.

No not at all. There's a time for playdates and there's a time for happy hours and dinners with friends.

I'm pretty sure my friend would prefer to see me without my kids. I would prefer to see her without my kids, too. But we don't have the money for a sitter for that. So she graciously puts up with them. My friend is child free.

Assuming that friend is traveling to see you without her own kids and you have part-time custody of your toddler.