Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:56
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hey, smack your kid. It’s apparn rly leagal, and accepted in some circles.
Did it accomplish what you want it to? Will your child now listen to yiur out respect, or out of fear?
If your spouse did the same to you, would you now do what they wanted you to do out of respect or out of fear?
If this child is normally your “good one”, how do you envision discipline to yiur two younger children?
As with every topic, some think it is not a big deal while others will say it is physical abuse.
I was not abused. I got spanked once in a while and I deserved it.
Some poorly behaved kids deserve a good spanking.
I was an A Student, and never rocked the boat at home. Did I deserve a good spanking? I mean, my mom thought so. For things like being late, or not going to sleep when I was supposed to.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:55
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need to develop better parenting tools. What is your plan for if this happens in the future? Why is he afraid to fail a test? What will you do to him then?
You said "I had to smack him." You need to take a good hard look at yourself. People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc. No. What you did is abusive.
eh.. we all make parenting mistakes. I'm sure the kid is no worse for wear. Did OP smack the kid on the face, on the behind, upside the head? Those are all different, imo, and I actually did experience some abuse as a kid. I can tell the difference between actual abuse and a smack on the backside.
Glad you feel that way.
I also experienced abuse as a kid. Sexual, physical, emotional. We had the police in our home. I remember some of those times clear as day, and not all of them are “noteworthy”. Let me tell you this: I’m worse for the wear. Strangely, it’s the “ones on the backside” that I remember the most, because they weren’t just the ones that were random, but the ones that were meant to control me. But hey.. YMMV.
A CHILD gets to pick what they feel is abuse.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:53
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
So you lashed out at the good kid because you are stressed with the other two?
So, yelling and screaming and then hitting? You had to hit him? Really, you HAD to? Usually, my response would be, oh well, one time, no big deal. However, this time you know are did wrong and you know you took your frustration on your good child. You need to apologize. Also, how old is this child? If there was homework to be done, is he old enough to be in charge of it?
So, yelling and screaming and then hitting? You had to hit him? Really, you HAD to? Usually, my response would be, oh well, one time, no big deal. However, this time you know are did wrong and you know you took your frustration on your good child. You need to apologize. Also, how old is this child? If there was homework to be done, is he old enough to be in charge of it?
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:53
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:Hey, smack your kid. It’s apparn rly leagal, and accepted in some circles.
Did it accomplish what you want it to? Will your child now listen to yiur out respect, or out of fear?
If your spouse did the same to you, would you now do what they wanted you to do out of respect or out of fear?
If this child is normally your “good one”, how do you envision discipline to yiur two younger children?
As with every topic, some think it is not a big deal while others will say it is physical abuse.
I was not abused. I got spanked once in a while and I deserved it.
Some poorly behaved kids deserve a good spanking.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:53
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need to develop better parenting tools. What is your plan for if this happens in the future? Why is he afraid to fail a test? What will you do to him then?
You said "I had to smack him." You need to take a good hard look at yourself. People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc. No. What you did is abusive.
eh.. we all make parenting mistakes. I'm sure the kid is no worse for wear. Did OP smack the kid on the face, on the behind, upside the head? Those are all different, imo, and I actually did experience some abuse as a kid. I can tell the difference between actual abuse and a smack on the backside.
I have never made a parenting mistake that ended in my getting physical with my kid. And she's 16 so I think if it were going to happen, it would have already. I was also abused as a kid, which is a big part of why I swore I would never hit my child. I have dug my nails into my palms, I've screamed, but I refuse to physically intimidate or hurt my kid.
BTW, the child psychologists who say "Well if you MUST spank, I guess it's KIND of okay..." always say it should NOT be done out of anger. The point is to discipline. The latin root of "discipline" is pupil, or more broadly, to teach. The point of discipline of any kind, should be to teach. What OP's son was taught this morning is that his mom lost control and lashed out physically at him. Let's not sugar coat abuse.
screaming at a child can be worse than a smack on the backside. Did the child pscyh not tell you that?
For all you know, this is the one and only time OP has ever smacked her kid. No child psychologist will tell you that this will have a negative impact on the kid.
But now the kid knows never to miss the bus.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:52
Subject: Re:I smacked my kid this morning
We all make mistakes, especially in the heat of the moment when frustrated.
But by the time you wrote this post, you presumably were no longer in the heat of the moment. So to write, "I had to smack him" suggests that even in retrospect you can't think of anything better to do. And you need to figure that out, because there will be a next time.
My kid also moves very slowly in the morning and comes close to missing the bus. In fact, she has missed the bus twice and had to figure out public transportation. She got to school late on those days and had to live with the consequences. We have built in rewards for days that she's ready on time (she wants money for snack food at school, which she only gets on days when she leaves the house on time).
But by the time you wrote this post, you presumably were no longer in the heat of the moment. So to write, "I had to smack him" suggests that even in retrospect you can't think of anything better to do. And you need to figure that out, because there will be a next time.
My kid also moves very slowly in the morning and comes close to missing the bus. In fact, she has missed the bus twice and had to figure out public transportation. She got to school late on those days and had to live with the consequences. We have built in rewards for days that she's ready on time (she wants money for snack food at school, which she only gets on days when she leaves the house on time).
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:50
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:Hey, smack your kid. It’s apparn rly leagal, and accepted in some circles.
Did it accomplish what you want it to? Will your child now listen to yiur out respect, or out of fear?
If your spouse did the same to you, would you now do what they wanted you to do out of respect or out of fear?
If this child is normally your “good one”, how do you envision discipline to yiur two younger children?
Good thing most people don't regard their relationship with the spouse as the same as with their kids. That's gross.
So, I'm curious.. how would all-knowing PP have handled the situation? Let him miss the bus? Give in to tantrums?
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:49
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need to develop better parenting tools. What is your plan for if this happens in the future? Why is he afraid to fail a test? What will you do to him then?
You said "I had to smack him." You need to take a good hard look at yourself. People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc. No. What you did is abusive.
eh.. we all make parenting mistakes. I'm sure the kid is no worse for wear. Did OP smack the kid on the face, on the behind, upside the head? Those are all different, imo, and I actually did experience some abuse as a kid. I can tell the difference between actual abuse and a smack on the backside.
I have never made a parenting mistake that ended in my getting physical with my kid. And she's 16 so I think if it were going to happen, it would have already. I was also abused as a kid, which is a big part of why I swore I would never hit my child. I have dug my nails into my palms, I've screamed, but I refuse to physically intimidate or hurt my kid.
BTW, the child psychologists who say "Well if you MUST spank, I guess it's KIND of okay..." always say it should NOT be done out of anger. The point is to discipline. The latin root of "discipline" is pupil, or more broadly, to teach. The point of discipline of any kind, should be to teach. What OP's son was taught this morning is that his mom lost control and lashed out physically at him. Let's not sugar coat abuse.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:48
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Hey, smack your kid. It’s apparn rly leagal, and accepted in some circles.
Did it accomplish what you want it to? Will your child now listen to yiur out respect, or out of fear?
If your spouse did the same to you, would you now do what they wanted you to do out of respect or out of fear?
If this child is normally your “good one”, how do you envision discipline to yiur two younger children?
Did it accomplish what you want it to? Will your child now listen to yiur out respect, or out of fear?
If your spouse did the same to you, would you now do what they wanted you to do out of respect or out of fear?
If this child is normally your “good one”, how do you envision discipline to yiur two younger children?
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:44
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
Anonymous wrote:You need to develop better parenting tools. What is your plan for if this happens in the future? Why is he afraid to fail a test? What will you do to him then?
You said "I had to smack him." You need to take a good hard look at yourself. People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc. No. What you did is abusive.
eh.. we all make parenting mistakes. I'm sure the kid is no worse for wear. Did OP smack the kid on the face, on the behind, upside the head? Those are all different, imo, and I actually did experience some abuse as a kid. I can tell the difference between actual abuse and a smack on the backside.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:40
Subject: Re:I smacked my kid this morning
Sorry you're having such a bad week.
Personally I would rather give into a power struggle like that than deal with the potential negative ramifications of hitting my kid (all the research out there doesn't seem to support hitting). You could always telll the teacher he intentionally missed the test and let the teacher deal with the consequences.
Anyway, this is just one small event, I would try not to stress about it too much.
Personally I would rather give into a power struggle like that than deal with the potential negative ramifications of hitting my kid (all the research out there doesn't seem to support hitting). You could always telll the teacher he intentionally missed the test and let the teacher deal with the consequences.
Anyway, this is just one small event, I would try not to stress about it too much.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:40
Subject: Re:I smacked my kid this morning
No, I would not have let him miss the bus. Obviously, not your best parenting moment, but hang in there. Tomorrow is another day. When I make parenting mistakes, I own up to it with my kids at the end of the day, and they are forgiving. But, I do tell them *why* I was so upset, and they usually apologize if they did wrong, and own up to it.
I think you were in a tough spot. How do you make a child get on the bus if the child physically refuses to budge? I have seen parents allow their kids to not take the bus, and instead the parent will drive them to school. IMO, that's just giving in to your kid's tantrum.
I think you were in a tough spot. How do you make a child get on the bus if the child physically refuses to budge? I have seen parents allow their kids to not take the bus, and instead the parent will drive them to school. IMO, that's just giving in to your kid's tantrum.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:40
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
No sympathy. Don't have so many kids you can't handle them.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:39
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
You need to develop better parenting tools. What is your plan for if this happens in the future? Why is he afraid to fail a test? What will you do to him then?
You said "I had to smack him." You need to take a good hard look at yourself. People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc. No. What you did is abusive.
You said "I had to smack him." You need to take a good hard look at yourself. People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc. No. What you did is abusive.
Anonymous
04/03/2019 14:36
Subject: I smacked my kid this morning
He wasn’t ready for a test at school this morning and he was deliberately trying to miss the bus. He had 2 minutes before he had to be out the door and after yelling and screaming, I had to smack him. Then he yelled back and finally got dressed and out the door. He didn’t come back to the house and school didn’t call with an absence notification so I’m assuming he got to school ok.
Would you have let him miss the bus?
Having such a bad day. Make that a bad week. Middle child is sick. My toddler is a handful everyday. Oldest is usually the good one.
Would you have let him miss the bus?
Having such a bad day. Make that a bad week. Middle child is sick. My toddler is a handful everyday. Oldest is usually the good one.