I’m a third child and while I do think my parents were nearly as involved as they were with the first too, i got a ton of attention from older siblings. Let’s be real, an older sibling will check your annoying behavior faster than a parent! OP I think this family is just dysfunctional. It has nothing to do with birth order or the parents are just way too overwhelmed.

Anonymous wrote: This is also a FTM thing. At first I was uncomfortable correcting other children on the playground, but now? Meh. I have no problem saying loudly “No pushing!” or whatever.

This. Your friend needs thicker skin.
This mom was taking care of her child in the way she thought was right by not interfering in the kids disputes. Whether or not YOU think it’s right is irrelevant.
Your friend was apparently either allowing her child to get hurt or making him leave the playground where he was having fun because she is afraid of a three year old.
Of the two women here, your friend does not come off as the superior parent.

people love to comment on how they do nothing for their 3rd kid. same reason they like to pretend that kid was an accident.

I’ll admit to being a little bit guilty of throwing up my hands—not because of birth order, but—because my second child was clearly a spitfire from birth. I couldn’t believe how clearly kids can pop out with a strong personality.

Anonymous wrote:her child likely has special needs and she refuses to address them.

The special need is needing a better parent.

This is also a FTM thing. At first I was uncomfortable correcting other children on the playground, but now? Meh. I have no problem saying loudly “No pushing!” or whatever.

I wonder what the other side of the story is - is the other kid completely innocent or not?

My DD has two older brothers and she can hold her own. I joke that I pity the 3-4 y/o who tries to cross her. I’m not proud of her ever resorting to violence and tell her not to do it but I did get one incident report last year. Apparently a boy was bothering her (pushing her / taking her stuff) and she finished it. The preschool teachers were basically like - we have to report this to you but we are not worried about it- she was really provoked. It hasn’t happened again and I told her not to do it again and we are all friends with the other kid etc.

How is this a type? It’s quite specific.

Btw I have 3 kids and psychology PhD. While there might be something to birth order it’s hardly an overwhelming factor.

I don’t get these posts that are just “I don’t like somebody so I’m going to try to make a larger point about people that fall into a particular category.”
We don’t know her so we can’t really comment on what’s going on with her or her kids.

Yes, I have encountered quite a few people who think having multiple kids makes them some sort of expert in child rearing. I can only imagine with a "psych" degree she thinks she is all the more special. The more full of themselves, the worse behaved their kids are. The humble moms recognize problems and get help and don't assume they are parenting experts due to number of kids.

I never understood how people make it through all years of parenting with their overblown egos in tact. Parenting is humbling .

Is ‘she’ actually ‘you’ OP?

Is she part of your family?

Oh man, she sounds like a nightmare. Do you only see her on the playground? Honestly, I would completely avoid someone like that. She shows up to the playground with her kid, I'm leaving.

her child likely has special needs and she refuses to address them.

Does anyone else know this type of mom??

She minored in Psychology, has three kids and is now an expert on how sibling birth order shapes personality, has a terror of a third kid - hitting, spitting, biting, screaming - and dismisses all of his horrible behavior because "third kids have to learn how compete for resources."

My friend complained directly to this mom. when her son wouldn't stop hitting her kid, and her direct quote was "Welcome to the Jungle!"

Birth order, or the number of kids that you have, does not excuse you from teaching your kid how to interact with other same age kids. Maybe you let your kids "death match" it out at home for mommy and daddy's attention, but that doesn't mean that the playground is also fair game.

There are so many awesome parents of three and four kid families, this mom makes me want to prescribe birth control.