Anonymous wrote:We had friends who had two moms and my ds asked 'how does that work?' so we talked about all the ways that people build their families. Sperm donor, egg donor, surrogate, IVF, sex, etc. He was 5. It is a good age I think. Nothing embarrassing at 5! By the time they are tweens it is a lot harder.

^^^ my older child was 9 and in retrospect it was harder because he was already embarrassed.

We had friends who had two moms and my ds asked 'how does that work?' so we talked about all the ways that people build their families. Sperm donor, egg donor, surrogate, IVF, sex, etc. He was 5. It is a good age I think. Nothing embarrassing at 5! By the time they are tweens it is a lot harder.

Anonymous wrote:I did at 3.5 or so-- she wanted to know, so we read "It's So Amazing," which tells the whole story. It's an ongoing conversation, basically. My mom told me when I asked around 4.5-- she's a doctor, so very clinical, but still told me. I assume the average kid is older, especially when you factor in kids whose parents NEVER say anything, but there's nothing wrong with stating the facts in an age-appropriate way as early as preschool.

But in a way, this is perfect. Too many parents have hangups and emotional attachment to anything related to sex, so they DON’T tell /talk to their kids,

A 9 year old is close to puberty, and it’s likely that some of her friends are going through it. IMO, sex is part of the “why your body is changing” information package, which is a talk that also should happen long before any of the changes happen.

It's so much easier if you do it when the child is younger. We've had ongoing conversations but now my son is 9 and he becomes self-conscious and embarrassed in ways that he wasn't when he was younger. I can only assume that, moving into puberty, he'll be less willing to open up to these kinds of frank conversations.

I also think of this as not one single conversation about mechanics, but many ongoing conversations about relationships and birth control and privacy and appropriateness and consent. What do you want your child to know and how do you want them to behave as a sexually active young adult? Work backward from there.

My mom had a book in her office with details from conception to birth. That might’ve been the name of it. I can’t remember. It talked about the sperm getting to the egg, but I can’t remember the details. We had our second when the first was 2.5. On a visit, my mom made sure to let him have access to it so she could explain and answer any questions while I left him alone with her. We had explained in very basic terms and he had left it alone. I didn’t mind him having technical and factual answers, but the way she did it bothered me.

We started talking with both kids about body parts when they were little, like toddler and preschool age. Our talks got more mature as the kids aged. We answered all questions they asked factually, without going into unnecessary details. They both understood the concept of intercourse by the time they were 8. They learned a lot more in middle school.

My 5-year-old recently started asking how babies get into a mommy's stomach. We read It's Not the Stork, which I think is written by the same person as It's so Amazing but geared toward younger children. She really wasn't very interested in the sex part of the book and was much more fascinated by the pictures of babies growing inside the uterus.

My kids learned about it in 1st grade in Sunday School (Unitarian church).

Anonymous wrote:I did at 3.5 or so-- she wanted to know, so we read "It's So Amazing," which tells the whole story. It's an ongoing conversation, basically. My mom told me when I asked around 4.5-- she's a doctor, so very clinical, but still told me. I assume the average kid is older, especially when you factor in kids whose parents NEVER say anything, but there's nothing wrong with stating the facts in an age-appropriate way as early as preschool.

The "It's So Amazing" books (there are several) are great for this.

Anonymous wrote:So the school counselor recent told me that my 3rd grade daughter acccused my K daughter of sticking something up her vagina. We all (ages 8, 6 and me) had a conversation about how another “hole” exists and we shouldn’t stick random stuff in it. (Ends up my K daughter didn’t actually do this). I had 2 c-sections - my girls have seen the scar but know that there’s another (yet unexplained) way for babies to be born. We’ve told them that babies are a part of mommy and daddy but haven’t explained anything further. Will do once my older daughter shows signs of puberty (5th grade?) and the 2.5 yo younger girl will automatically be part of the conversation.

5th grade seems really old to me, considering what your children's classmates have seen on the Internet (and are talking about).

I did at 3.5 or so-- she wanted to know, so we read "It's So Amazing," which tells the whole story. It's an ongoing conversation, basically. My mom told me when I asked around 4.5-- she's a doctor, so very clinical, but still told me. I assume the average kid is older, especially when you factor in kids whose parents NEVER say anything, but there's nothing wrong with stating the facts in an age-appropriate way as early as preschool.

We had the conversation with both kids in 2nd-3rd grade. I didn’t want them hearing about it on the bus or playground.

So the school counselor recent told me that my 3rd grade daughter acccused my K daughter of sticking something up her vagina. We all (ages 8, 6 and me) had a conversation about how another “hole” exists and we shouldn’t stick random stuff in it. (Ends up my K daughter didn’t actually do this). I had 2 c-sections - my girls have seen the scar but know that there’s another (yet unexplained) way for babies to be born. We’ve told them that babies are a part of mommy and daddy but haven’t explained anything further. Will do once my older daughter shows signs of puberty (5th grade?) and the 2.5 yo younger girl will automatically be part of the conversation.

My kid asked how the baby got in me. She was 4.5. So I gave a factual answer.

My son is almost 7.