Anonymous
04/01/2019 10:34
Subject: Very outgoing child
Anonymous wrote:Is he getting enough socializing with other kids? If he’s home with a parent full time and not in preschool, he may be under stimulated as an extrovert. How often does he play with friends at his house or theirs?
He's at preschool 5 days a week, and after his quiet time & his little sister's nap, the nanny always takes them to parks or over to other kids' houses to play.
I feel like that's plenty of interaction!
Anonymous
04/01/2019 06:23
Subject: Very outgoing child
Is he getting enough socializing with other kids? If he’s home with a parent full time and not in preschool, he may be under stimulated as an extrovert. How often does he play with friends at his house or theirs?
Anonymous
04/01/2019 05:46
Subject: Very outgoing child
My almost 4yo is extremely outgoing, and much, much more so socially savvy. I’ve posted about her before. Essentially she knows exactly what to say in every social encounter. And adults just lap it up.
The problem is that her parents are both introverts. I would say most of the time I don’t really want to chat with strangers. And this 3yo makes friends in the public places we frequent. Library, lunch spot, cafe, coffee shop, etc.
I have had to stop going places because I’m uncomfortable with the attention she gets. It sounds ridiculous. But we would get free food! The grocery store clerks know her name etc.
I do think she will grow out of it. And I do hope she holds on to this social intelligence.
I put my foot down on play dates too. Sorry kid. But we might do one every 3 weeks.
The problem is that her parents are both introverts. I would say most of the time I don’t really want to chat with strangers. And this 3yo makes friends in the public places we frequent. Library, lunch spot, cafe, coffee shop, etc.
I have had to stop going places because I’m uncomfortable with the attention she gets. It sounds ridiculous. But we would get free food! The grocery store clerks know her name etc.
I do think she will grow out of it. And I do hope she holds on to this social intelligence.
I put my foot down on play dates too. Sorry kid. But we might do one every 3 weeks.
Anonymous
03/31/2019 23:34
Subject: Very outgoing child
You have to teach him that he has to ask your permission before inviting people over. That needs to be a rule.
Anonymous
03/31/2019 23:18
Subject: Very outgoing child
My husband is an introvert and I'm somewhere in between. He would never invite people over, and especially not multiple families that don't know each other. I grew up with my parents hosting very multicultural parties and separating people seems totally weird to me. Not inviting friends over also seems weird. So I am with your son on this one, however, if you and your husband don't like the behavior or the outcome of the behavior (hosting people you don't want to invite over for dinner), I think you should teach your son to clear all invitations with you before he extends them. You can talk at home about who he'd like to invite and then suggest a time or format that would work for you and your husband. He gets to be social, you get to plan / control the situation.
Anonymous
03/31/2019 21:15
Subject: Very outgoing child
Anonymous wrote:DS, who just turned 4, is extremely outgoing. DH and I are both introverts, and I in particular am a little socially awkward.
If he runs into neighbors that we know on the street, he'll just invite them over to our house for dinner. Or if he's playing with someone he likes at the park, he'll just walk up to their mom or dad, ask their name and then say: "Jane, would you and Larlo like to come to our house sometime for a playdate?"
At home, he's constantly begging me to ask other parents if they can come over or vice versa. I will occasionally reach out and say that DS wants to play if Larlo is free etc. But I even feel awkward doing that because DS is the one who wants to play, not us.
I think it's sweet on some level and I'm glad he's so comfortable with other people. But, I don't know if it's weird or annoying that he does this, and if we should try to teach him not to do it.
As I mentioned, I'm a little socially awkward and I'm probably putting too much thought into this!
Thoughts?
Playdates don’t require other parents stay. If you think you are up to watching your child and another child youcan invite the child over and let the other parent know that they can take a few hours to run errands, take a nap or do whatever. Drop off play dates are more common in kindergarten but we had some kids that we would have drop off playdates with in preschool. Maybe expect to have the parents stay for the first play date and see that the kids are fie together and that your house is safe.
My sons playdate have always been about him and not us. We happen to like the parents of most of hs friends, he is 6, and would be fine hanging out with them but are thrilled when the child comes over solo because DS loves playing with his friends.
You might need to suck it up a few times but it could lead to reguloar play date buds without the parents and you can all be happy. You might even find a few parents that you enjoying chilling with, who knows?
Anonymous
03/31/2019 18:36
Subject: Re:Very outgoing child
My dd is 5.5 and still as outgoing and friendly as she’s always been. As an introvert, I know that’s theres only so much I’m able to direct her on - her instincts and social needs are so different from mine and she’ll have to figure a lot out on her own. We are working on boundaries and personal space (that’s a big issue with her). She’s also getting better on appropriate questions and converation starters. She’s ridiculously charismatic so most times adults respond positively to her which reinforces her natural instincts. She has had negative reactions which has helped her learn to read people and situations better. She is and will always be far more social confident than I am.
She doesn’t randomly invite people over for play dates/ dinner anymore, but I know she wishes we socialized more and we do make an effort to maximize social situations for her. It’s a tough balancing act but we are all figuring it out as a family. She does have a sibling which helps.
She doesn’t randomly invite people over for play dates/ dinner anymore, but I know she wishes we socialized more and we do make an effort to maximize social situations for her. It’s a tough balancing act but we are all figuring it out as a family. She does have a sibling which helps.
Anonymous
03/31/2019 15:25
Subject: Re:Very outgoing child
He may grow out of it. My 5 year old was the same at 3 and 4. Zero sense of stranger danger, would just start talking to people. I didn't think it was appropriate so we worked on trying to enforce a sense of boundaries (don't just randomly talk at people on the elevator unless you know them). Kind of went hand in hand with not interrupting adults, which he did constantly. Either something sank in or he just aged out of it because now at 5 he still enjoys conversing with adults, but he rarely initiates conversations with strangers. He is happy to respond, though, and he still loves meeting new people and, especially, visiting other people's houses.
Anonymous
03/31/2019 15:06
Subject: Very outgoing child
DS, who just turned 4, is extremely outgoing. DH and I are both introverts, and I in particular am a little socially awkward.
If he runs into neighbors that we know on the street, he'll just invite them over to our house for dinner. Or if he's playing with someone he likes at the park, he'll just walk up to their mom or dad, ask their name and then say: "Jane, would you and Larlo like to come to our house sometime for a playdate?"
At home, he's constantly begging me to ask other parents if they can come over or vice versa. I will occasionally reach out and say that DS wants to play if Larlo is free etc. But I even feel awkward doing that because DS is the one who wants to play, not us.
I think it's sweet on some level and I'm glad he's so comfortable with other people. But, I don't know if it's weird or annoying that he does this, and if we should try to teach him not to do it.
As I mentioned, I'm a little socially awkward and I'm probably putting too much thought into this!
Thoughts?
If he runs into neighbors that we know on the street, he'll just invite them over to our house for dinner. Or if he's playing with someone he likes at the park, he'll just walk up to their mom or dad, ask their name and then say: "Jane, would you and Larlo like to come to our house sometime for a playdate?"
At home, he's constantly begging me to ask other parents if they can come over or vice versa. I will occasionally reach out and say that DS wants to play if Larlo is free etc. But I even feel awkward doing that because DS is the one who wants to play, not us.
I think it's sweet on some level and I'm glad he's so comfortable with other people. But, I don't know if it's weird or annoying that he does this, and if we should try to teach him not to do it.
As I mentioned, I'm a little socially awkward and I'm probably putting too much thought into this!
Thoughts?