I like having enough money that i do not need to worry about being able to afford important things. I would YOLO if I lived in Scandinavia or some other civilized country. U feel that USA is pretty brutal to its poorer citizens so I save enough to be able to live relatively worry free here. Money removes a lot of stress and unless one is born rich being frugal is the most straightforward way of generating some safety buffer.

I do both, but cut down in areas that are not as important to me.

I lived with roommates for 10 years in mediocre apartments and didn't have a car for many of those years.

This allowed me to max out my 401k and save 100k for a down payment, while also visiting 40 countries. I experienced many bucket list places, but cut costs where possible and stayed in cheap local B&Bs. My salary averaged 90k during that period.

My best friend died at 29, which made it unfortunately clear that we all have limited time here. You should plan responsibly for the future, and then spend the rest on experiences that bring you happiness.

My parents lived pretty much by the Marie Kondo philosophy— only spend $ on things that truly bring joy. That eliminated so much wasteful spending. So the money they did spend brought true joy. They’re in their 70s now and able to buy expensive real estate and live well in retirement bc they were careful in the way the spent when they were younger.

We put away an amount we think is enough and spend the rest. Sometimes being able to spend is as much a matter of psychology as it is of financial contraints.

Why not both?

Travel but frugally.
Spend where it matters and save where it doesn't

Skip the super-stressful 60 hour a week job.
Skip most of the Target runs.

Spend on travel and therapy and housekeeper every few weeks.

Don't spend like there's no tomorrow. But don't save like now doesn't matter at all.

Anonymous wrote:What is YOLO?

you only live once

Anonymous wrote:What is YOLO?

Google is your friend.

What is YOLO?

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question — I’d love to hear other stories. IDK what the right balance is either but I’d say — save hard in your 20-30s to build the foundation that’ll keep growing, spend in your 40-60s. Things like travel just get harder as you get older so I say don’t wait on trips until age 70 when you can afford it comfortably at 50.

Also keep in mind the couples’ ideas of retirement can diverge even if they were always on the same page before. I’ve seen it happen where upon retirement, one spouse is still go-go-go and the other - esp after a few yrs of being done with work basically just wants to be home, reading the paper and being a typical retiree. It brews a LOT of resentment when one spouse is like - we always said we’d travel after age 65-70 and the other is like - eh, flights, walking around all day in Europe, I’d rather just sit here. Do it while you know you both want the same things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me personally, but a tale of two great aunts. Neither ever married. The older one died at 95 after working close to 60 years. She was notoriously frugal to the point of martyrdom. After a series of strokes in her early 90s, she went into an excellent private nursing home that she paid forentirely out of pocket. Within two years, she was dead. Her sister (13 mos younger) worked until 60 but always wore gorgeous clothes, threw great parties, and spent the last 30 years of her life traveling. She ended up in a publicly funded nursing home. It was just okay, but she died about two years later as well.

Would you rather live it up and enjoy your 30s-60s or live well in your 80s-90s when you may not even be lucid any way? There should be a balance but if I had to choose one or the other, I’d choose to be in the YOLO camp.

Both were lucid until the end so I think the issue was 70+ years of sacrifice vs. pleasure. Living well in the private nursing home wasn’t much: a single room, a monthly visit by a hairdresser, and slightly nicer decor throughout the facility.

Interesting question — I’d love to hear other stories. IDK what the right balance is either but I’d say — save hard in your 20-30s to build the foundation that’ll keep growing, spend in your 40-60s. Things like travel just get harder as you get older so I say don’t wait on trips until age 70 when you can afford it comfortably at 50.

Anonymous wrote:Not me personally, but a tale of two great aunts. Neither ever married. The older one died at 95 after working close to 60 years. She was notoriously frugal to the point of martyrdom. After a series of strokes in her early 90s, she went into an excellent private nursing home that she paid forentirely out of pocket. Within two years, she was dead. Her sister (13 mos younger) worked until 60 but always wore gorgeous clothes, threw great parties, and spent the last 30 years of her life traveling. She ended up in a publicly funded nursing home. It was just okay, but she died about two years later as well.

Would you rather live it up and enjoy your 30s-60s or live well in your 80s-90s when you may not even be lucid any way? There should be a balance but if I had to choose one or the other, I’d choose to be in the YOLO camp.

I'm early 50s, husband is early 60s and disabled.

We saved and did not spend a lot on things like vacations. We have savings now for retirement, but hisband is going to need expensive nursing care. All the money we saved so frugally will be needed to pay for this care; and we will spend it all in about 2 years; at which point he will qualify for Medicaid as we will have no assets.

He's too ill and disabled now to take any vacations. Since the money won't last long anyhow I wish we had spent more of it on travel and enjoying life!

If neither of us ended up disabled and needing decades of care, though, saving money would have been a good strategy for our retirement years.

Not me personally, but a tale of two great aunts. Neither ever married. The older one died at 95 after working close to 60 years. She was notoriously frugal to the point of martyrdom. After a series of strokes in her early 90s, she went into an excellent private nursing home that she paid forentirely out of pocket. Within two years, she was dead. Her sister (13 mos younger) worked until 60 but always wore gorgeous clothes, threw great parties, and spent the last 30 years of her life traveling. She ended up in a publicly funded nursing home. It was just okay, but she died about two years later as well.

Share your stories, especially if those involved have already lived a long life (and have seen the effects of life's ups and downs). I am looking for perspectives of those who have been there done that.
Anyone regret being too frugal?
Anyone regret not saving enough for retirement/rainy days?
Anyone very happy with their financial choices?