Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:33
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why are you speaking with the nanny if you don’t like her. It was a work relationship. Break ties with the nanny. Stop feeling guilty.
OP here. I am not speaking to the nanny. The nanny has asked to see my child and I have said no.
Are you actually an adult bc you sound like a teenager.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:33
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You don't seem to realize that the nanny was one of your child's strongest attachments. From the child's perspective it is like one of her 3 parents just disappeared one day and never came back. She had only positive associations and positive emotions and a secure attachment with this person.
You also have a 3-4 year old who already knows she can't come to you about this or how she feels and so goes to other people. You never spoke again of her and obviously have negative feelings that your child has picked up on.
I think since you have gone six months, I would stay no contact. I think it was the wrong decision in the first place but bringing her back to see your child, only to them later decide again you don't want them having contact is going to be more damaging to your child.
Your child can't comprehend what she or the nanny did to warrant this alienation. Your child may be worried it was her or something she did or said or what nanny is dead etc. Who knows what anxiety this has caused for your child.
+1 This sounds bizarre OP. The nanny has offered to see your child (presumably unpaid), and you said no, because you can't stand her. But it's been 6 months now, so it's a little late to start being concerned about what your child wants now, so just let it be.
+2 Exactly.
Op didn’t care what was best for her child before so why pretend like you care now. Continue being selfish OP and see how great that works for you.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:15
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Anonymous wrote:You don't seem to realize that the nanny was one of your child's strongest attachments. From the child's perspective it is like one of her 3 parents just disappeared one day and never came back. She had only positive associations and positive emotions and a secure attachment with this person.
You also have a 3-4 year old who already knows she can't come to you about this or how she feels and so goes to other people. You never spoke again of her and obviously have negative feelings that your child has picked up on.
I think since you have gone six months, I would stay no contact. I think it was the wrong decision in the first place but bringing her back to see your child, only to them later decide again you don't want them having contact is going to be more damaging to your child.
Your child can't comprehend what she or the nanny did to warrant this alienation. Your child may be worried it was her or something she did or said or what nanny is dead etc. Who knows what anxiety this has caused for your child.
+1 This sounds bizarre OP. The nanny has offered to see your child (presumably unpaid), and you said no, because you can't stand her. But it's been 6 months now, so it's a little late to start being concerned about what your child wants now, so just let it be.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:13
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
You don't seem to realize that the nanny was one of your child's strongest attachments. From the child's perspective it is like one of her 3 parents just disappeared one day and never came back. She had only positive associations and positive emotions and a secure attachment with this person.
You also have a 3-4 year old who already knows she can't come to you about this or how she feels and so goes to other people. You never spoke again of her and obviously have negative feelings that your child has picked up on.
I think since you have gone six months, I would stay no contact. I think it was the wrong decision in the first place but bringing her back to see your child, only to them later decide again you don't want them having contact is going to be more damaging to your child.
Your child can't comprehend what she or the nanny did to warrant this alienation. Your child may be worried it was her or something she did or said or what nanny is dead etc. Who knows what anxiety this has caused for your child.
You also have a 3-4 year old who already knows she can't come to you about this or how she feels and so goes to other people. You never spoke again of her and obviously have negative feelings that your child has picked up on.
I think since you have gone six months, I would stay no contact. I think it was the wrong decision in the first place but bringing her back to see your child, only to them later decide again you don't want them having contact is going to be more damaging to your child.
Your child can't comprehend what she or the nanny did to warrant this alienation. Your child may be worried it was her or something she did or said or what nanny is dead etc. Who knows what anxiety this has caused for your child.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:12
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Anonymous wrote:Why are you speaking with the nanny if you don’t like her. It was a work relationship. Break ties with the nanny. Stop feeling guilty.
OP here. I am not speaking to the nanny. The nanny has asked to see my child and I have said no.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:10
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Why are you speaking with the nanny if you don’t like her. It was a work relationship. Break ties with the nanny. Stop feeling guilty.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:10
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Are you open to the idea of her babysitting from time to time?
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:07
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Anonymous wrote:Were you jealous of the nanny OP?
No.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:02
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Were you jealous of the nanny OP?
Anonymous
03/23/2019 11:00
Subject: Re:Child still misses former nanny
Let her visit. She has a bond. I couldn’t stand my first nanny but I let her visit, same with my friend and her nanny.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 10:57
Subject: Re:Child still misses former nanny
OP here. I never talk about the nanny! DD brings her up to other people. And yes, the former nanny has asked to visit DD many times.
I didn’t like the nanny but DD loved her.
Do I keep going with no-visit-policy or allow visits?
I didn’t like the nanny but DD loved her.
Do I keep going with no-visit-policy or allow visits?
Anonymous
03/23/2019 10:53
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Why do you think the nanny would even want to come back to “visit”? Your kid was a job to her. Stop talking about the nanny to the kid.
Anonymous
03/23/2019 10:53
Subject: Re:Child still misses former nanny
six months passed and what's done is done I guess. this is a weird post, because you fired the nanny "because you couldn't stand her" even though she was great with your kid. so what are you expecting to happen now, go begging to the nanny to have her visit your child, after you fired her without cause?
Anonymous
03/23/2019 10:52
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
Why couldn’t you stand her?
Anonymous
03/23/2019 10:50
Subject: Child still misses former nanny
DD had the same nanny from birth to age three. Six months ago, we fired the nanny and decided that the nanny would not visit DD or babysit. Just make a clean break. The nanny was good with DD and did love her (she was fired because I couldn’t stand her).
Now what? Keep going without nanny or let nanny visit? DD doesn’t tell me she misses nanny but tells her teachers and grandparents. My mother asked her what she wanted if she could have anything in the world and DD said “that my nanny comes back”.
Now what? Keep going without nanny or let nanny visit? DD doesn’t tell me she misses nanny but tells her teachers and grandparents. My mother asked her what she wanted if she could have anything in the world and DD said “that my nanny comes back”.