Anonymous
03/22/2019 21:19
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It would be bother me too, but in the end be grateful she is close enough to her "bonus mom" to use that terminology. A child can never have too much love.
This. If a kid chooses to call a stepparent “Mom” or “Dad,” it would be foolish for anyone to correct that. Kids know who their parents are. And if they choose to call a stepparent a term of endearment, then great. It means they feel loved and safe and close. Those are all good things. Anyone, be it parent or stepparent, who steps in to correct that is being petty and making it about the adults. No kid asked for their parents to split up. To then try to control what labels they give the adults around them is selfish.
No, its selfish to call a parent a parent when they are not. Kids have two parents and that should be respected. They can have a good relationship with a stepparent and call them by their first name. How would you feel if you were replaced and your child called someone else mom or dad?
Anonymous
03/22/2019 21:17
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:It would be bother me too, but in the end be grateful she is close enough to her "bonus mom" to use that terminology. A child can never have too much love.
This. If a kid chooses to call a stepparent “Mom” or “Dad,” it would be foolish for anyone to correct that. Kids know who their parents are. And if they choose to call a stepparent a term of endearment, then great. It means they feel loved and safe and close. Those are all good things. Anyone, be it parent or stepparent, who steps in to correct that is being petty and making it about the adults. No kid asked for their parents to split up. To then try to control what labels they give the adults around them is selfish.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 20:50
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
I feel you OP. My DH's kids call their stepdad 'Dad' at their mother's encouragement. DH doesn't make a fuss about it, but I'm pretty sure I'd lose my damn mind if my kids called their stepmom 'Mom' because their father encouraged it.
I think it's one of those things that when your kids have kids, they will understand.
I think it's one of those things that when your kids have kids, they will understand.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 20:29
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Also, how old is your daughter?
It sounds like it's early enough in the game that you could still turn this around.
It sounds like it's early enough in the game that you could still turn this around.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 20:28
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How long has this been going on?
I’m not sure, yesterday was the first time I heard her say it.
How long has stepmom been in her life?
Anonymous
03/22/2019 20:04
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:How long has this been going on?
I’m not sure, yesterday was the first time I heard her say it.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:55
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
I agree with you. I don't think kids should call stepparents mom or dad and it should be reserved for the parents. As a stepmom, I'd never be ok with it. My husband's ex has the kids call her boyfriend Dad and I think its disrespectful as they have a Dad.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:50
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
How long has this been going on?
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:49
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
It would be bother me too, but in the end be grateful she is close enough to her "bonus mom" to use that terminology. A child can never have too much love.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:45
Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. You’re not being petty at all. I am a stepmom who has a great relationship with stepdaughter. It would bother ME if she called me “mom”. She has a mom and it’s not me. Don’t get me wrong,I love her the same as my biological kids. But she calls me by my first name. My children call her mom by her first name. That’s just the way it played out
The problem you have is that you could appear petty if you said anything. If her dad isn’t a jerk you might be able to talk to him. That can be slippery.
When you talk to your daughter I would refer to her stepmom by her first name.
This is a tough one. It would also really bother me!
Hugs
The last thing I want is for DD to know that this bothers me.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:29
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Hell no. I’d be furious and would put an end to it pronto. Stepmoms who are okay with this if there is an active mom in the picture have boundary issues.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:23
Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Is there a variant that you can gently suggest that would be special for them and keep “mom” for you? I kind of dig how Kamala Harris’s stepkids call her “Momala.”
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:16
Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Hey OP. You’re not being petty at all. I am a stepmom who has a great relationship with stepdaughter. It would bother ME if she called me “mom”. She has a mom and it’s not me. Don’t get me wrong,I love her the same as my biological kids. But she calls me by my first name. My children call her mom by her first name. That’s just the way it played out
The problem you have is that you could appear petty if you said anything. If her dad isn’t a jerk you might be able to talk to him. That can be slippery.
When you talk to your daughter I would refer to her stepmom by her first name.
This is a tough one. It would also really bother me!
Hugs
The problem you have is that you could appear petty if you said anything. If her dad isn’t a jerk you might be able to talk to him. That can be slippery.
When you talk to your daughter I would refer to her stepmom by her first name.
This is a tough one. It would also really bother me!
Hugs
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:11
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
My stepson calls me Mama, because he can't remember ever not knowing me, and he's been hearing all my kids call me that his whole life.
If it makes you feel any better, I have literally had a couple of moments where someone will ask about my pregnancy or birth with him and I'll start to think about it only to wonder why I can't remember it before realizing. That's how close we are and how much I see him as equal to my birth children.
If it makes you feel any better, I have literally had a couple of moments where someone will ask about my pregnancy or birth with him and I'll start to think about it only to wonder why I can't remember it before realizing. That's how close we are and how much I see him as equal to my birth children.
Anonymous
03/22/2019 19:08
Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Not a question, just needed somewhere to vent! I guess I should be grateful that her stepmother treats her right and she looks at her like a mom, but it really bothers me. I know I sound petty, but I feel like she shouldn’t call anyone mom except for me.