Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have the financial resources and the space, plus plenty of family support to help mitigate some of the new energy an extra person brings. But you are also fine with one, and will welcome that option if it is what your fate brings to the table. It sounds like you should go for it, and be open to the idea that it may or may not work out.

Quoting myself to add: this is basically where I was, but then once it didn't seem to be happening, I got kind of bummed. I decided to let go of the family of four idea, and the minute I did that, I was of course pregnant with my now 2.5-year-old. The first 6 months were rough, but DD is now an excellent big sister and I think she takes great pride in her role. Selfishly, I sometimes wish I could have each of them to myself more, since they are kind of obsessed with each other, but I think it's a good problem to have.

It sounds like you have the financial resources and the space, plus plenty of family support to help mitigate some of the new energy an extra person brings. But you are also fine with one, and will welcome that option if it is what your fate brings to the table. It sounds like you should go for it, and be open to the idea that it may or may not work out.

Go for it. It sounds like you want a second and can afford it and have family support and an involved husband. Of course it will ‘rock the boat’ some with a new baby. The hardest stage for me was when the baby started to crawl and get into big brother’s toys. But that stage went so quickly and now I’m so glad to have two (and now 3!) because the kids play together. Think about what you want for the rest of your life, not how chaotic those first hard years are.

I have an only child (age 5). We're one and done, not by choice, due to long-term infertility (tried for over 4 years unsuccessfully to have a second).

Now that we're for sure only having one, I feel like things are so much easier and low stress compared to my friends with 2 kids. We can travel easily, eat at restaurants easily, I can work without too much stress, and my husband and I have plenty of free time for hobbies and outside interests. I was sad and depressed for many years over my infertility problems, but now that my child is older I feel like having an only child is the best of both worlds.

there is no telling about babies. i would guess, statistically, if one is easy others are more likely to be easy than not.

I think either way could be good but there are so many unknowns with having kids who can really say for sure. It would probably be nice for your son to have a sibling but then again you have no way of knowing if he would have a strong relationship w his potential sibling or not. It will definitely make your lives harder, at least for awhile and probably forever, to have another child. But it could be worth it.

I have 2. My first was super easy similar to what you describe—great sleeper, happy, laid back baby. My second was the exact opposite and really turned our lives upside down. Very happy to have had the second but it’s been rough. Second child is 2 now (oldest is 4). I don’t ever regret having the 2nd and love both kids equally but our lives would be so much easier with just the one kid. I had no idea how hard 2 would be for us. But you could get another easy baby if you have a second so again, who can say...

Sorry for rambling

I would go for it.

I have an only. She’s 10. My life is sooooo easy compared to my friends. Most of her friends are the oldest sibling and they have 1-2 preschool or lower elementary kids also. I’m not saying their lives are bad AT ALL. Just much more hectic

Anonymous wrote:Having a second child is more than having a baby that is easy or difficult. Could afford two in daycare? What about college for both? Room in the house? Family support? Do you handle stress well? I had newborn when I had a toddler and it was tough.

OP here. I know having a second child is more than having an easy or difficult baby. I spoke more about the baby stage because that’s where I’m at with my first child. I have no idea what will happen when he becomes a toddler and beyond. I know having an active toddler and a new baby will not be easy.

Finance wise we can afford two. We use a nanny, not daycare, and can afford to pay a nanny for both. We have lots of family help. We have a big house with plenty of room for another child and we will save for college. I do handle stesss somewhat well, but I can hire more help or have family help if it becomes too stressful.

My 1 year old was great. Now at 3 she is so much harder. We are still having another and hope her at closer to 4 the older dd will be a little better behavior wise.

It’s such a personal decision. I was right about your age with a 12-month-old when I got l pregnant again. The second baby was different than the first - harder in some ways and easier in others. And that first year with 2 under 2 was hard. But now at 4 and 5.5 we just love having two and the kids love having a sibling/playmate.

Having a second child is more than having a baby that is easy or difficult. Could afford two in daycare? What about college for both? Room in the house? Family support? Do you handle stress well? I had newborn when I had a toddler and it was tough.

After the newborn stage, the second baby made life much easier and much less stressful for us. Newborn stage was rough, though.

No right answer and you never know what will happen so flip a coin!

My husband and I have been thinking about trying for a second. I’m 39 and he’s 42. We have an almost 1 year old. He’s a very “ easy” baby - rarely ever cries, always happy, slept through the night early on, etc. I know there are so many thing things that can change once he becomes a toddler and beyond. We would really like to give him a sibiling, and due to my age, would need to start now or soon if we choose to have a second child. Part of me really wants another, but the other part wonders if we shouldn’t tip the boat. We have such an easy baby, but who knows how the second will be. My husband is a very involved father, but I do handle more due to my flexibility of my job ( nurse practioner). If we do have a second, it will be our last.