I wish I could support you in real life OP.

I recognized that escaping is a sign of weakness; staying and fighting is a strength. Also the love of my family.

I'm afraid I'll traumatize my daughters.

I guess because it’s permanent. If I could die for one week I would. I don’t want to “take a break”. I want everything to shut off for one week.
Total brain black out. No heaven, no hell, just black. Like a week long coma. Then see if life is any different in a week. How did people act while I was out? I need a reset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

I hate that that phrase is always getting trotted out. My temporary problems are not temporary. I've had them for 40-ish years. They're not going anywhere.

I agree, although I'm sure PP meant well.

My problems are not temporary. My problems will never leave me. My problems are part of me.

But, when I'm in a bad place and feeling suicidal, I remember that there are good things in life, too, and that if you wait long enough, the bad feelings always pass. My problems will always be there, but how I feel about them will change.

When I was younger — my mom.
Now — my kids.

^^I'm sorry you are feeling this and going through this, OP. I'm listening if you want to tell me more about what's going on and what you are feeling.

my children

My kids.

My family.

I don't believe that God wouldn't take me to be with Him if I did it, but even the remote possibility of that has gotten me through sometimes.

I have a few friends who have gotten to some pretty dark places. We have a 24/7 call pact where if you need someone in the middle of the night, or anytime, you call.

Anonymous wrote:Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

I hate that that phrase is always getting trotted out. My temporary problems are not temporary. I've had them for 40-ish years. They're not going anywhere.

I'm sorry too.

Like, my heart aches knowing there is someone who is so depressed they are contemplating hurting themselves, and yet the fact is, there are many, many people out there who feel suicidal at any one moment.

Check out https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

You can chat with someone if you don't want to call.

And full confession: I have done this several times, and I am so incredibly grateful I never hurt myself.

Op I don’t know what to tell you, but I’m sorry you’re hurting.

Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

Because I've considered it at least 1,000 times, and every single time I've gotten to a better place - even if temporarily - that makes me glad I'm alive.

It's okay to contemplate it. Life is hard.

But, it's not a good solution. To anything, really.

Please, if you are thinking of this, hang in there.

Thanks