Anonymous
03/19/2019 07:41
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Anonymous wrote:Agree not at 3, but my kids are 8 and 11 and I listen to them more
This
Anonymous
03/19/2019 07:32
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
OP, sometimes when people say, "oh Timmy didn't want to come to that, I was so disappointed" they really mean, "I didn't want to come and I am using my kid as an excuse."
Anonymous
03/19/2019 07:30
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
I let them decide sometimes, but not if it’s something I really want to do and certainly not if we’ve made a commitment to someone else.
Anonymous
03/19/2019 07:29
Subject: Re:Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Anonymous wrote:I do activities with my 4 and 1/2 year old every weekend and don’t give him choices. No issues.
But I have had drama with my mother-in-law. Last summer my son and his cousin (who is 1 year older) spent a week with her. They both attended 1/2 day summer camp in the morning. This year, she said my nephew told her camp was too young for him (whatever that means) and he did not want to go.
I said no worries, but I want my son to go to camp (reason - some enrichment daily). I didn’t think it would be a big problem, my son has never said anything about disliking it., and he would still have hours to play with his cousin in the afternoon. It did not go well because she did not want just 1 of them to go to camp which I don’t understand why. I also don’t understand why she is letting a 5 year old run the show and dictating the same for my son.
If I had to guess, I’d say she didn’t want just one to go because she wanted them to be able to entertain each other rather than having to figure out how to keep nephew busy all morning til your son got back.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 22:27
Subject: Re:Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
I do activities with my 4 and 1/2 year old every weekend and don’t give him choices. No issues.
But I have had drama with my mother-in-law. Last summer my son and his cousin (who is 1 year older) spent a week with her. They both attended 1/2 day summer camp in the morning. This year, she said my nephew told her camp was too young for him (whatever that means) and he did not want to go.
I said no worries, but I want my son to go to camp (reason - some enrichment daily). I didn’t think it would be a big problem, my son has never said anything about disliking it., and he would still have hours to play with his cousin in the afternoon. It did not go well because she did not want just 1 of them to go to camp which I don’t understand why. I also don’t understand why she is letting a 5 year old run the show and dictating the same for my son.
But I have had drama with my mother-in-law. Last summer my son and his cousin (who is 1 year older) spent a week with her. They both attended 1/2 day summer camp in the morning. This year, she said my nephew told her camp was too young for him (whatever that means) and he did not want to go.
I said no worries, but I want my son to go to camp (reason - some enrichment daily). I didn’t think it would be a big problem, my son has never said anything about disliking it., and he would still have hours to play with his cousin in the afternoon. It did not go well because she did not want just 1 of them to go to camp which I don’t understand why. I also don’t understand why she is letting a 5 year old run the show and dictating the same for my son.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 19:45
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
If it's something necessary, they don't get a choice. Too bad, you're going to the doctor's office, you're coming to the grocery store.
If it's something fun like a hike or splash park, they know they need to be pleasant and ready to by a certain time or we simply don't go. And I put them in the backyard to dig ditches or whatever to get fresh air.
If it's something fun like a hike or splash park, they know they need to be pleasant and ready to by a certain time or we simply don't go. And I put them in the backyard to dig ditches or whatever to get fresh air.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 19:40
Subject: Re:Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I give them a choice like if we have nothing to do.
If we do have plans they’ve gotta move.
Same. Want to run an errand with me or stay with dad? No problem. Want to go to the park or stay home? Ok. Especially if it’s something I’m doing just for my kid to have fun.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 19:27
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Not if it's something definitive where everybody is going. If it's something like my husband is running to the store and I'm staying home, we give the choice (child usually wants to go).
Anonymous
03/18/2019 19:25
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
At that age I don’t think kids really know well enough to understand what they might like or not when it comes to new things. They can also be really pouty and then end up loving something. Parents who give in could be setting themselves up to be ruled by little tyrants. I suppose adults can give kids two choices that are win-win, like “Do you want to go to the spray park or go to the playground,” which allows for exercising of autonomy without kids ruling the roost.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 19:10
Subject: Re:Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Sometimes I give them a choice like if we have nothing to do.
If we do have plans they’ve gotta move.
If we do have plans they’ve gotta move.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 19:08
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Agree not at 3, but my kids are 8 and 11 and I listen to them more
Anonymous
03/18/2019 18:28
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Gosh, silly autocorrect. That should say “I might give”
Anonymous
03/18/2019 18:27
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Ha. No, not at that age. We all need to get out of the house or they start climbing the walls.i. Ishtar fpgive a choice of playground a or b, but we are going to a playground.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 18:15
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
Not at that age. If DD said "I'm tired of this playground" or "I wish we could go on an adventure" then I would take that under advisement and find a new playground or come up with something fun to do that we hadn't done in a long time.
Anonymous
03/18/2019 18:12
Subject: Do you give your kids a choice to go places or not?
My boys are 3.5 and 2. SAHM.
I rarely give them a choice on if we are going to do things are not: go on a hike, playground, museum, etc. If they are really sick, or have a strong aversion, then we might not do it. Otherwise, it is “Get in the car we are going to XYZ.”
I am really surprised when people say “oh, my daughter did not want to come on the hike. I’m really disappointed.” I am always a little stunned that a three-year-old is calling the shots. My boys do not get to say what we do. I mean, I’ll give them the choice occasionally between two play places or grocery stores. But they do not get to dictate if we leave the house or not. Sometimes we will be at a play place and we will have plans to go to lunch after but “I can’t get Larla to leave!”
Am I alone in this? Do your kids get a choice?
I rarely give them a choice on if we are going to do things are not: go on a hike, playground, museum, etc. If they are really sick, or have a strong aversion, then we might not do it. Otherwise, it is “Get in the car we are going to XYZ.”
I am really surprised when people say “oh, my daughter did not want to come on the hike. I’m really disappointed.” I am always a little stunned that a three-year-old is calling the shots. My boys do not get to say what we do. I mean, I’ll give them the choice occasionally between two play places or grocery stores. But they do not get to dictate if we leave the house or not. Sometimes we will be at a play place and we will have plans to go to lunch after but “I can’t get Larla to leave!”
Am I alone in this? Do your kids get a choice?