How far is commute? 1 hour can become 2 hours if there is an accident or bad weather.

We used to live in Alexandria. I had a job in DC and at one point a job in Bethesda. It would quite often take me 2 hours to get to Bethesda or back. One year it took me almost 4 hours because of flooding but I know that was a one time horrible traffic day.

DH worked in DC and supposedly had a half hour commute. It often took him over an hour. We ended up moving to McLean for shorter commute.

How often does your DH travel?
Is your child in kindergarten now?
Do you plan to put your kids in sports?

I found it difficult to get my son to soccer when I was working.

Take it! The downside is less home time but you may feel more fulfilled and engaging with a new interesting job. You may not see your kid getting anything out of the deal but long term they absolutely will. These years are precious and to be cherished but they fly by and you would be left later wondering what could have been. It sounds like your heart is leaning that way, go with that. Think about the past year and how you would feel working those hours but with more stimulation and a bigger paycheck. Would anything about that give you pause?

I think you should negotiate with them. Do whatever you can to get them to agree to allow you to work from home at the new job one day a week even if it means taking a pay cut or maybe you could ask for a 80% schedule, which seems like you'd still be ahead if it's a 45% pay increase.

My take:

If you want a chance to get your career moving again, this is probably it unless there's an opportunity around the corner at your current employer, which, if there were, you would have already taken advantage of it.

Not to put too fine of a point on it, but in 5 years you're going to be in your late 40's (I'm 47) and it's different than your early 40's, which I found to be much more aligned with feeling like I was still in my 30's.

Up cleaning to weekly and pay them to do some laundry too.

Your son is either in KG or starting in the fall. He will soon have activities, etc., and your routine will change. It'll be an adjustment, but everyone will adjust. Go for it!

Anonymous wrote:OP-Can’t move closer, we bought our very expensive as close as we will get to our dream home in exactly the location and schools we want two years ago. But DH does pick up and makes dinner so it would mostly be less evening time together, and finding time for clean up, laundry, etc. And dealing with logistics when he travels. I told them that I would need to leave early when he travels and they said ok, but it’s not clear how really ok it would be and how I would make up the time.

45% pay increase will pay for someone to clean and do laundry. Ask them about telecommuting when DH travels.

I am you, including the one telework day and the commute distance. I am sticking with it. My husband works too much, and I would rather be available for sick days and close to school to make it home for sports etc. and I do know what the other side was like, I went from a Wall Street job to a govvy job and I’m just happy enough with mediocre.

OP-Can’t move closer, we bought our very expensive as close as we will get to our dream home in exactly the location and schools we want two years ago. But DH does pick up and makes dinner so it would mostly be less evening time together, and finding time for clean up, laundry, etc. And dealing with logistics when he travels. I told them that I would need to leave early when he travels and they said ok, but it’s not clear how really ok it would be and how I would make up the time.

Can you move closer to the new job? If you could reduce the commute, it could be reasonable. Also, do you have a partner who is willing to pick up a lot of slack at home?
I think if you can walk in at 6:20 to dinner on the table, that seems reasonable. But coming home after 7pm and still needing to cook and get a kid to bed by 8pm or so sounds miserable.

Anonymous wrote:Well it's a tough decision but your kid will always be there. This job opportunity will not.

Uh. No. Sorry.

Well it's a tough decision but your kid will always be there. This job opportunity will not.

OP here, I’m 42, not having any more kids. My gut is very torn. It says buuuut I would hardly see my baby. It also says this is an amazing opportunity, it’s been a little disheartening feeling my career stagnate since having a kid.

How old are you?

What's your gut/heart say? Never mind your head. Get rid of the "oughts" in your brain and listen to what you really want to do.

I have a job that’s straight 9-5, 1/2 hour commute, one telework day. I don’t love it, don’t hate it, and pay is mediocre. I just got an offer that would be 9-6, closer to an hour commute, but more interesting and a large (approximately 45%) pay increase. My DH works from home but travels frequently for work, and we have a five year old. I’m very torn on how to balance the sacrifice to work/life balance versus better pay and job. Do other moms work similar hours/commute and how do you feel about it? We have house cleaning every two weeks but otherwise outsource very little? What do you outsource successfully? When do you exercise?