Talking through your own thought processes while working on something. Asking them questions when they are stuck and waiting for them to process an answer before helping them do something. Knowing when to teach and when to let them figure it out (and recognizing when a kid has an issue that will require teaching things others just "get"). Playing little games that encourage them to look for details (I spy something small and round), or to draw comparisons (I spy something that remind me of a lemon), notice patterns, take on another's perspective (charades, back seat drawing). Play board games and logic puzzle games and play with building materials and arts and crafts. Play with words and rhymes and listen to lots of different music. Use lots of words about emotions. Talk about emotions in the pictures you see and books you read. Observe cause and effect in nature and in everyday household things and point it out. Think about discipline in terms of teaching and learning form mistakes, especially by noting the child's effect on others and making reparations (and forgiving).

Do it all casually as it happens and arises. Very little of it has to be planned or programmed. Give them time to be doing "nothing."

And keep an eye out for developmental red flags and get early intervention if you suspect a need.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

Wow, just wow. You are using homeless to meet your needs...

And you're an idiot. Clearly, your children will not be inheriting genes for intelligence from you.

Explaining to your kids why you're talking to different people, including but not limited to homeless people, is not the same as volunteering for the soup kitchen once a year so that your kids can see poor people and appreciate their material goods. Treating homeless people like people isn't using them.

clearly and idiot, how did you get "meeting needs" out of respecting peoples (especially homeless) their personal space?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

Wow, just wow. You are using homeless to meet your needs...

And you're an idiot. Clearly, your children will not be inheriting genes for intelligence from you.

Explaining to your kids why you're talking to different people, including but not limited to homeless people, is not the same as volunteering for the soup kitchen once a year so that your kids can see poor people and appreciate their material goods. Treating homeless people like people isn't using them.

Anonymous wrote:I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

Wow, just wow. You are using homeless to meet your needs...

Anonymous wrote:The trick is genes.

This. Smarts is genetics, other things can be taught but genetics are the key.

Anonymous wrote:PP said genes, but it's true. Nature is a big factor; nurture only goes so far. Those of us with multiple children can tell you that you need to use different parenting strategies with different children and they each will excel and fall short in different areas.

One big regret I have with my closely spaced children is doing too much for them. Getting out of the house was always so chaotic, I always controlled everything by doing it myself. Encourage self-reliance from the beginning and make sure to establish expectations in terms of household responsibilities, even if it take a little longer as they learn.

hmmm got it... this sounds like it could be me one day

Anonymous wrote:I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

I like this ... a lot.
You are showing to spot the difference in people without words.

I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

There's no trick. There's genes, there's inborn personality, there's a million factors that go into making a person who they are. The best you can do is nourish your child's gifts and love them.

PP said genes, but it's true. Nature is a big factor; nurture only goes so far. Those of us with multiple children can tell you that you need to use different parenting strategies with different children and they each will excel and fall short in different areas.

One big regret I have with my closely spaced children is doing too much for them. Getting out of the house was always so chaotic, I always controlled everything by doing it myself. Encourage self-reliance from the beginning and make sure to establish expectations in terms of household responsibilities, even if it take a little longer as they learn.

No, it's not all genes (virtually nothing complex is, FFS).

I also don't think it's a "trick." You have to work constantly at scaffolding your kids into appropriate levels of independence, help them develop solid emotion regulation, give them opportunities to practice these things, and teach them how to fail, etc. Have high expectations of them but also support them. Don't do their work for them, and don't give in when they protest doing theirs.

Anonymous wrote:Are you those things OP? Then most likely your kids will be as well.

In fact, I am.

I am not that funny though.

Are you those things OP? Then most likely your kids will be as well.

The trick is genes.

Not tiger mom like, but more so, a child that has all the factors

Book smart, common sense, good character all around upstanding person

Do you have a kid like this?

did you introduce books at a young age? No screen time ... whats the trick?