Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your DC needs more practice with winning and losing. Do you ever play simple games where winning is mostly or purely luck? Simple card or dice games? Your child needs to practice managing his feelings and being a gracious winner or loser. As he gets a little older, you can move on to games where some skill is required, and the choices a player makes affects the outcome.

This is a good idea. He's not really into board games right now and I'm not pushing it because his 1 year old brother would be difficult to play with. But maybe I'll try something out like "war" with him one on one and see how it goes.

Anonymous wrote:You can still let him win at times. But, I would refuse to race him if he is going to taunt the losers. It is a horrible behavior in kids and I would do what I could to stop it now, so he is not inclined to do it when you are not around (school / play dates).

OP here and he has never taunted anyone for losing. He just gets incredibly upset if he loses.

My oldest is a fine "loser." My middle guy is a real sore loser. I am not going to say I never let my kids win, but I don't often just "let" them win. I think I spend more time saying: everything doesn't have to be a competition, why don't we just have fun doing it together, etc.? Anyway, I feel like I need to make my middle guy (age 7, 1st grade) lose more often He needs practice at losing with grace.

It sounds like your DC needs more practice with winning and losing. Do you ever play simple games where winning is mostly or purely luck? Simple card or dice games? Your child needs to practice managing his feelings and being a gracious winner or loser. As he gets a little older, you can move on to games where some skill is required, and the choices a player makes affects the outcome.

You can still let him win at times. But, I would refuse to race him if he is going to taunt the losers. It is a horrible behavior in kids and I would do what I could to stop it now, so he is not inclined to do it when you are not around (school / play dates).

I think it’s kind of ridiculous to beat him in a race. Peers and life will provide many opportunities for him to experience losing.

Explain that winning normally requires hard work (practicing) and strength (eating well, sleeping well, exercising). Help him understand you have more of both because you are older.

My 6 year old nephew has to win at everything. It is really annoying. I would try to nip that in the bud.

I’m dealing with this with my two kids (3 & 5) who compete at just about everything. I generally don’t tip the scales to favor one over the other but I will make adjustments as needed. Mostly, we have discussions about being a good sport. Being happy or sad is ok, but we have to be good sports which means no taunting or gloating from the winner and no whining or tantrums from the loser. We also talk a lot about how life isn’t fair and it’s more important to have fun than to win.

Obviously, this is all a work in progress. My 3-year-old beat the 5-year-old to the garage door today and there was much pouting.

Make sure you discuss beforehand that he is in an unfair race and can’t win. So he will be disappointed but expecting it.

Curious to hear how you dealt with letting your children win, both when they were young and as they got older.

DS, who is 4, loves to "race" and mostly we let him win. He started bragging the other day that he was faster than I was, and I told him that he would be faster than I was when he was older, but that I was still faster.

He challenged me to a race and I beat him. He sobbed for like 5 minutes.

Similarly, my husband barely edged him out in a race recently, and more tears.

I don't want to crush him. He's young. But, I don't want a braggart or a kid who thinks he's awesome at everything. And, I want him to be a good sport.

Would love to hear how others approached this.