Anonymous
03/19/2019 12:13
Subject: Re:Triage the help for family w newborn
Hi everyone - OP here. I ended up doing a little bit of everything. Laundry, tidying up, taking care of the older kids, refresh water in flower vases, ordering food, taking out trash! I dealt mostly with my BIL since my sister felt like crap. I did hold the baby while she made some phone calls. I’ll go visit again in a couple of weeks and do the same rotation of chores - hopefully more outside time with the big kids. Thanks for all of the advice. It was pretty chaotic and since my sister felt so tired we didn’t get much time to visit.
Anonymous
03/07/2019 13:17
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
Also, dishes. Whenever I walk into the house of somebody close to me who has had a baby, had surgery, is going through a divorce, has had a death in the family, or is otherwise overwhelmed, I say hi and start doing dishes as we're chatting.
Anonymous
03/07/2019 12:48
Subject: Re:Triage the help for family w newborn
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP —thanks everyone. It was pretty chill to help out when the first two each arrived but now the adults are outnumbered...and we’re all a little older! Mostly I don’t want to ask my sister a million questions.
You can avoid the million questions by asking a few direct ones, like, "What would be most helpful to you? I'm happy to do laundry or cook some dinner, unless you'd rather me take the older kids out."
THIS.
Because your sister may be laundry queen and have that handled.
She may be: OMIGOD, take these big kids OUT of here!
She may be: Husband will take big kids out, you stay and chat with me and make dinner for the family.
She may be: take this baby and let me SHOWER.
so asking this exact, specific, question with specific offers (rather than "how can I help?" will be the best.
Anonymous
03/07/2019 12:18
Subject: Re:Triage the help for family w newborn
Kid friendly food. People made food for us but it was not often stuff my older one would eat. I would have loved some chicken breast and broccoli to be delivered.
Anonymous
03/07/2019 11:35
Subject: Re:Triage the help for family w newborn
Anonymous wrote:OP —thanks everyone. It was pretty chill to help out when the first two each arrived but now the adults are outnumbered...and we’re all a little older! Mostly I don’t want to ask my sister a million questions.
You can avoid the million questions by asking a few direct ones, like, "What would be most helpful to you? I'm happy to do laundry or cook some dinner, unless you'd rather me take the older kids out."
Anonymous
03/07/2019 11:23
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
Take the big kids! I just had my third, and that’s all I want. I don’t care if my house is a mess, and I can scavenge for food, but I do need my two wild kids to burn off energy. Take them for several hours and wear them out. Then your sister can feel less guilty about tv time later
Anonymous
03/06/2019 13:17
Subject: Re:Triage the help for family w newborn
OP —thanks everyone. It was pretty chill to help out when the first two each arrived but now the adults are outnumbered...and we’re all a little older! Mostly I don’t want to ask my sister a million questions.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 13:17
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
I have two kids and really wanted company. I just wanted people to come with food, sit down and eat with me and talk. NO ONE wanted to talk to me. They were okay whisking the older kid away or dumping food on me and running away... but I just wanted company. I had laundry under control. But maybe I'm the strange one. I cried after the second friend refused to come inside and just dumped food on my door and ran. I had no family though.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 13:12
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
Arrive with food, leave them with food and entertaining the older children is PRICELESS!
She may also want her DH to take the big kids out and just sit and chat with you. I know I liked having another adult around who was not my DH (who was also exhausted) to talk to.
She may also want her DH to take the big kids out and just sit and chat with you. I know I liked having another adult around who was not my DH (who was also exhausted) to talk to.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 13:10
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
Anonymous wrote:TIA for your advice - my sister just had her third child, and I (mid 30s woman) am headed to visit her for the day this weekend. What are the most important things I should do while I’m there?? I don’t want to bug her with questions.
- laundry
- Empty garbage
- order food /grocery shop/ make food
- take two older children out/engage them so mom and dad can sleep
I’m purposefully only spending the day so I can be in and out, no laundry or hosting guilt from her/hubs. They are 90 mins away.
THE BOLD. I can do laundry and I can do trash. I need to eat allllll the time and so do all these children. HELP!
Anonymous
03/06/2019 13:06
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
I would walk in and quickly throw in a load of laundry. While it’s running, deal with food, and garbage if you can. Make extra food, or get takeout on your 90 minute drive. Order groceries with your Bluetooth enroute if you can.
If you’re doing these things, mom and/ or dad should be able to engage the other kids.
If you’re doing these things, mom and/ or dad should be able to engage the other kids.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 12:40
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
For me, meals, tidying, and taking my older kid out of the house were most important. You sound like a great sister.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 12:09
Subject: Re:Triage the help for family w newborn
You sound awesome!
Yes on all of this--go in, make coffee, clean up as you see is needed. Hold the baby if your sis would like a shower. Then when she's relaxed, hand baby back and take the big kids out for park/special lunch/movie matinee.
Come back, do more pick-up or errands as needed, order dinner takeout. Stay and eat it with your sis so you guys can chat, then head out after cleaning up.
Seriously, this sounds so nice. You are the best kind of newborn helper.
Yes on all of this--go in, make coffee, clean up as you see is needed. Hold the baby if your sis would like a shower. Then when she's relaxed, hand baby back and take the big kids out for park/special lunch/movie matinee.
Come back, do more pick-up or errands as needed, order dinner takeout. Stay and eat it with your sis so you guys can chat, then head out after cleaning up.
Seriously, this sounds so nice. You are the best kind of newborn helper.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 12:08
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
That's very nice of you. I'd say cooking and making sure the other two are fed would be huge.
Anonymous
03/06/2019 12:04
Subject: Triage the help for family w newborn
TIA for your advice - my sister just had her third child, and I (mid 30s woman) am headed to visit her for the day this weekend. What are the most important things I should do while I’m there?? I don’t want to bug her with questions.
- laundry
- Empty garbage
- order food /grocery shop/ make food
- take two older children out/engage them so mom and dad can sleep
I’m purposefully only spending the day so I can be in and out, no laundry or hosting guilt from her/hubs. They are 90 mins away.
- laundry
- Empty garbage
- order food /grocery shop/ make food
- take two older children out/engage them so mom and dad can sleep
I’m purposefully only spending the day so I can be in and out, no laundry or hosting guilt from her/hubs. They are 90 mins away.