Please reassess private school. If you’re starting down the private path at age 6, you’ll have a very long financial road. What’s wrong with your public school options?

My 10 year old DD goes through these stages. Today we were pulling IN to school and she said “do I haaaaaaave to go?” Uh yeah dude.

Could she maybe use more sleep? I know when my kid is tired she complains about everything on earth.

You sound like a good, completely reasonable parent. You are setting up boundaries. Persistent complaining gets to all of us!

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with what you said. The money thing will go over her head, and the message that she needs to stop whining is something that needs to be said.

Or the money thing will not go over her head and she will worry about how much money the family has

OP here; good perspectives. Thanks all.

Not a big deal. You were right to call her out on complaining and should not have mentioned the tuition costs. I think that should be part of a discussion when she is older possibly. I would reiterate to her that you are glad that her current school and you the chronic complaining must cease. Don’t be that hard on yourself.

I don’t see anything wrong with what you said. The money thing will go over her head, and the message that she needs to stop whining is something that needs to be said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she's at this school for your wishes and not her needs. I would ask her if she is happy at school and let her know at any time she can change to the public school if she's not happy. We do the opposite for our child as we'd like her in private as she did better in private but she wants to remain at school. We are clear any time she's not happy, tell us and she can switch. She knows our preference and we respect her choice.. At that age they can choose.

At age 6? 6 year olds aren't able to think about the future in any real way. You are giving your 6 year old way too much power to let her switch schools because her teacher told her not to sit next to her best friend.

OP, kids often don't like going to school because they don't want to get dressed or leave the house or stop what they are doing. Little kids also like to whine and complain. You can have whatever consequences you think appropriate for her whining, but it has nothing to do with the cost of school. You are sending her to that school because you think it's the best school for her -- her whining doesn't change that.

Kids know when its not a good fit. My child picked his school at age 5. We looked at a bunch of private schools and he was clear on his choice. I agreed. A few years later it wasn't the best choice for him and we switched him giving him some say again. She's not happy, tuition is a financial strain, why continue to send her there.

Her job at this age is to go to school so is feame it in those terms. She can whine but it's not going to change.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she's at this school for your wishes and not her needs. I would ask her if she is happy at school and let her know at any time she can change to the public school if she's not happy. We do the opposite for our child as we'd like her in private as she did better in private but she wants to remain at school. We are clear any time she's not happy, tell us and she can switch. She knows our preference and we respect her choice.. At that age they can choose.

At age 6? 6 year olds aren't able to think about the future in any real way. You are giving your 6 year old way too much power to let her switch schools because her teacher told her not to sit next to her best friend.

OP, kids often don't like going to school because they don't want to get dressed or leave the house or stop what they are doing. Little kids also like to whine and complain. You can have whatever consequences you think appropriate for her whining, but it has nothing to do with the cost of school. You are sending her to that school because you think it's the best school for her -- her whining doesn't change that.

I pay a boatload for DS to go to private school, and he generally dislikes school. He just isn’t a kid who likes being in class. He loves his friends, PE, the campus, etc but every morning is “do I have to go to school?”

You have the right to feel like tuition is a burden, and she has the right to not want to go to school. She does not owe you gratitude or happiness about school at this age. Let her be a normal kid who would rather have a snow day - private school isn’t unicorns and rainbows - it’s school, and a snow day is more fun.

It sounds like she's at this school for your wishes and not her needs. I would ask her if she is happy at school and let her know at any time she can change to the public school if she's not happy. We do the opposite for our child as we'd like her in private as she did better in private but she wants to remain at school. We are clear any time she's not happy, tell us and she can switch. She knows our preference and we respect her choice.. At that age they can choose.

You're nuts. She has no sense of money or tuition or your income, and she shouldn't. You lost your shit.

Get her a cute calendar and teach her what weekends are, and tell her each morning she can see if it's a school day or not.

Why is she attending a private school? It sounds like it is a large financial drain on your family and it is causing you stress.

My 6 year old pouts about going to school. He is doing well, he enjoys his friends. He is learning and growing but he would rather be home with us. I would say that is normal.

I don’t see discussing finances as being wrong. We discuss how our money is spent in broad terms with our son. He asks why he can’t have something, you have money with you or your credit card. We remind him that we need money to pay the mortage, buy food, by clothes, pay for the cars, go on vacations, save for College and save for retirement. He gets a small allowance ($2 a week) and we frequently remind him that he can use his moeny to buy something and that he might need to save for it.

But probably snapping that you are paying a lot for school when she is whining is a bit over the top.

My 6 yo DD goes to a private school in our neighborhood. She has lots of friends, the teachers always have positive things to say about her, she's doing well academically, etc. Ever since we had all those snow days in January however, every morning I am asked "do I have to go to school today?". And when I say "yes", she pouts. Eventually I can redirect her but I find it frustrating for lots of reasons, not the least of which is that the tuition is a significant portion of my salary as a single parent. I'm happy to budget for it but to say it's a bite is accurate. In addition, when I see her at school (I'm a room parent) she's having a blast. There have literally been no issues I'm aware of and it seems like a good fit.

Anyway I picked her up today and we went through the same song and dance ("mom do I have school tomorrow?" "Yes honey, tomorrow is Tuesday"....Cue the whining). Today I had it. I stopped the car and said: "Enough. I will not listen to you complaining about school every day. Unless there is something going on at school, someone hurting you, making you uncomfortable, or another reason you don't want to go, you will not complain about your daily responsibilities. That school costs me a boatload of money and if there's a problem, let's discuss it. If not, that's the last time I want to hear you whine about school".

In retrospect I feel badly..she should not have to listen to me vent about tuition. But the whining just pushed me over the edge today. Was this an awful parenting moment?