Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 14:50     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

Despite being busy with extracurricular activities, do you still carve out 1:1 time? Between 6+ hrs of school during the week, quick weekday dinner/homework, extracurriculars on weekend, all the errands she tags along with you, does she have just quiet focused attention from you?

Just tell your kid you need to get stuff done. One more game of Uno and then we need to tackle that laundry/unload dishwasher, etc.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 14:32     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I'm a single mom too, and my son is also extroverted.

What helped the absolute most was after we got home, spending 5-10 minutes doing something WITH him, that he chose. He set the rules, we talked about what he wanted to talk about, we built what he wanted, WHATEVER. But I filled that bucket of mom-attention up and then he was content to do his own thing for a few hours.

Also, catch her doing "good" things when you're otherwise engaged. While you're doing laundry and she's reading - make a comment like, "oh I loved that book! I love seeing you read it" or something similar when she's doing legos, or coloring, or whatever. Then her attention bucket will stay full and she'll be more likely to stay content doing her own thing.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 13:40     Subject: Re:Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I host a lot of sleepovers (with one other kid), it doesn't feel like extra work because the kids entertain each other.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 13:20     Subject: Re:Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I try to at least do stuff in the morning that is physical. Go for a walk, meet a friend at the park etc.
In the afternoon tell her she needs to find something to do by herself for X amount of time. If she can do it without bothering you then she can watch some TV afterwards.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 13:14     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

If she's bored she can do chores. Seriously. I helped mom vacuum and mop and wash bathrooms at that agenand wasn't excused from it on Saturdays.
Have a chore list in a jar. I'm sure she'll come up with something to do fast.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 13:01     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I like the "have a schedule" idea. In addition, ask your DD to come up with some ideas of what projects/crafts she can do alone. Get her to come up with a list first and then you can add to it. I also think she is old enough to understand if she complains about her down time, she gets a chore.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 13:01     Subject: Re:Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

Does she like to read books?
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:59     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I like the "have a schedule" idea. In addition, ask your DD to come up with some ideas of what projects/crafts she can do alone. Get her to come up with a list first and then you can add to it.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:37     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I think an 8 yo is old enough to start helping with cleaning/laundry and understand that mom needs some down time where everyone amuses themselves?
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:35     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

Can you let her invite a friend over or go play with some neighborhood kids? I’m an only child and at that age I was always out with the kids in my neighborhood bouncing around playing at people’s houses.

This was the early 90s so things were much less scheduled and I basically had to fend for myself (within reason).
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:23     Subject: Re:Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

I get it. I'm also a single parent with an extroverted 8 year old. Things that work for me:

Schedule for the weekend that shows her what we will be doing
At least one playdate or activity every day
Time at the park or pool where we can run into kids for her to play with
Strict understanding that whining leads to losing fun activities
Chores
Structured time playing alone (you need to go play/do art/read for a half hour while I do laundry, if you can't do that you lose your activity)
Screentime
Facetime with relatives/close family friends
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:13     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

PP here. Op, assign her tasks, chores. Go go go ... get things done.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:11     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

Op, even with more than one child, they often don't play together, so you'd have the same problem. Don't focus on the only child aspect.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:08     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

Anonymous wrote:And please don’t lecture me on the benefits of having more than one child. I’m all too aware. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the cards.

I have a super introverted only, who is 8. I keep her very busy, but she is relentless and overwhelming. I’m parenting alone, and I’m seriously on the verge of losing my mind lately.

For example, this week we did three extracurriculars outside of the house, all running well into the evening. She saw friends, did activities, and was engaged. But even when we get home she’s go-go-go.

We eat dinner and I try to clean up and she wants my constant attention.

I have loads of catchup to do today (laundry, cleaning, etc) because Thur and Fri we were out until 7 and 9pm doing her stuff. I’m hiding in the laundry room typing this because she won’t leave me alone asking if I’m done yet and what we are doing next. I want to do nothing, but that is impossible. I don’t have money for a sitter to take her somewhere.

I’m at a loss and on the verge of a mental breakdown! (I’m exaggerating, I have it under control, really.) But I feel like I never have a moments peace. Even at bedtime she’s 100mph. It’s go-go-go from the second she’s awake until the second she falls asleep.

Please don’t insult me, I’m doing my best. But doesn’t anyone have any suggestions for dealing with an overwhelming child?

*extroverted, obviously!
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2019 12:06     Subject: Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

And please don’t lecture me on the benefits of having more than one child. I’m all too aware. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the cards.

I have a super introverted only, who is 8. I keep her very busy, but she is relentless and overwhelming. I’m parenting alone, and I’m seriously on the verge of losing my mind lately.

For example, this week we did three extracurriculars outside of the house, all running well into the evening. She saw friends, did activities, and was engaged. But even when we get home she’s go-go-go.

We eat dinner and I try to clean up and she wants my constant attention.

I have loads of catchup to do today (laundry, cleaning, etc) because Thur and Fri we were out until 7 and 9pm doing her stuff. I’m hiding in the laundry room typing this because she won’t leave me alone asking if I’m done yet and what we are doing next. I want to do nothing, but that is impossible. I don’t have money for a sitter to take her somewhere.

I’m at a loss and on the verge of a mental breakdown! (I’m exaggerating, I have it under control, really.) But I feel like I never have a moments peace. Even at bedtime she’s 100mph. It’s go-go-go from the second she’s awake until the second she falls asleep.

Please don’t insult me, I’m doing my best. But doesn’t anyone have any suggestions for dealing with an overwhelming child?