Going to see your grieving grandma after losing your uncle is not about using people as an emotional crutch. People support each other, that is a good thing. Families bond together during times of grief.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious? If so, this is one of the most self absorbed, cold posts I have read on here.

It’s not self-absorbed. I don’t think it’s healthy to spend the afternoon with a depressed grandparent as an emotional crutch. The kids do not need to be exposed to this level of depression and morbidity.

A thousand percent none of your business and not your call to make or judge. WTF is wrong with you?!

Using children to cheer someone up is emotional abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious? If so, this is one of the most self absorbed, cold posts I have read on here.

It’s not self-absorbed. I don’t think it’s healthy to spend the afternoon with a depressed grandparent as an emotional crutch. The kids do not need to be exposed to this level of depression and morbidity.

Death, loss and grief are part of life and kids / teens should feel those emotions to learn how to cope with them. That aside, supporting grandma during a really difficult time is a good thing. The kids may have many memories of uncle and may be close to grandma.

You sound like a horrible person.

Anonymous wrote:Your friend / spouse lost a brother and the kids lost an uncle and the grandma lost a son and you are begrudging them spending time together because the kids are missing your party?

Please leave them alone.

It’s not about this party - it’s about kids being used as tools to make someone happy. It’s not healthy.
My mom was depressed when I was a teenager. I missed a lot of parties to make her happy. In hindsight it was emotional abuse. I feel bad for the kids to be used like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious? If so, this is one of the most self absorbed, cold posts I have read on here.

It’s not self-absorbed. I don’t think it’s healthy to spend the afternoon with a depressed grandparent as an emotional crutch. The kids do not need to be exposed to this level of depression and morbidity.

A thousand percent none of your business and not your call to make or judge. WTF is wrong with you?!

Omg. Are you serious? You think a birthday party is more important than seeing a grandma? Do you not have parents? Seeing the grandkids can often really lift the mood of grandparents. Plus it is a good lesson in taking care of loved ones.

It is not like they are going to have an all day discussion about suicide. They are going to cheer her up and show her that she is loved.

Omg ?

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious? If so, this is one of the most self absorbed, cold posts I have read on here.

It’s not self-absorbed. I don’t think it’s healthy to spend the afternoon with a depressed grandparent as an emotional crutch. The kids do not need to be exposed to this level of depression and morbidity.

OP, you have no idea what this family is going through. I had a family back out of my wedding under similar circumstances three months after a death (10 guests) and never would have said a word about it. Mourning is highly personal.

Your friend / spouse lost a brother and the kids lost an uncle and the grandma lost a son and you are begrudging them spending time together because the kids are missing your party?

Please leave them alone.

You can't be serious? If so, this is one of the most self absorbed, cold posts I have read on here.

You’re kidding, right? You can’t possibly be this idiotic. It’s not your business; it’s not wrong. Say you’re sorry to hear of the loss; you’re sorry they are missing the party, and offer to do a play date at another time if you care to.

Absolutely do not do this. Not your business. Say you will miss them at the party, but you understand.

Are you crazy?! Say nothing!

My son’s birthday party is this afternoon. I just got a text from one of the families invited ( Family friends, our kids are the same age) that they aren’t coming... because they decided to visit grandma (local) because she’s depressed - her son, the kids’ uncle - died suddenly last month in her home. Seeing her grandkids makes her happy, so they’re skipping the party today.
I don’t think it’s healthy for the grandchildren to be used as emotional crutches, especially skipping a party where they would see friends they don’t get to see very often. I’m tempted to text back something to that effect but I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship.
Would you say anything?
We’ve got a lot of children coming to the party, so it’s not about the party itself. I just feel bad for the kids that they’re going to miss out on fun and instead have to cheer up grandma, in the house when their uncle died.