Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 kids in my family. You basically don't get to develop a deep parenting relationship with each individual kid. There are other benefits for the kids (independence, fun, family belonginess) but a lot fewer parental resources for each one.

I think 4 kids is really the max if you want to be close to your lids.

Based on your one experience. It really depends on financial situation; what you can hire out. The temperament of your children. So many things.
We have hashed and rehashed the really large families on this board and had all the haters come out. OP is talking about four here, not fourteen.

Hiring out meets kids physical needs but it does not replace that emotional connection and time with parents and that is the point.

Hiring out cooking and cleaning is what I was referring to. I’m fine outsourcing that. I’m sorry if my kids miss the connection of me vacuuming their mess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 kids in my family. You basically don't get to develop a deep parenting relationship with each individual kid. There are other benefits for the kids (independence, fun, family belonginess) but a lot fewer parental resources for each one.

I think 4 kids is really the max if you want to be close to your lids.

Based on your one experience. It really depends on financial situation; what you can hire out. The temperament of your children. So many things.
We have hashed and rehashed the really large families on this board and had all the haters come out. OP is talking about four here, not fourteen.

Hiring out meets kids physical needs but it does not replace that emotional connection and time with parents and that is the point.

How can you afford to have four? Well, if you can, that is fortunate.

Anonymous wrote:9 kids in my family. You basically don't get to develop a deep parenting relationship with each individual kid. There are other benefits for the kids (independence, fun, family belonginess) but a lot fewer parental resources for each one.

I think 4 kids is really the max if you want to be close to your lids.

Based on your one experience. It really depends on financial situation; what you can hire out. The temperament of your children. So many things.
We have hashed and rehashed the really large families on this board and had all the haters come out. OP is talking about four here, not fourteen.

I had three siblings and one child. I thought I wanted two kids but figured out one fit for me as a Mother.

As someone who came from a family of four: We rarely saw my Dad, he worked all the time and travelled a lot. He made a very nice salary so we lived comfortably. My Mom was SAHM but I really don’t remember doing a ton with her. She was taking care of the house and meals and laundry. It was rare for me to do an activity that I could not get myself to walking or on my bike. My oldest brother took karate but that was when he cold walk to the bus stop and take the public bus system.

We did not take a lot of extra classes or go to summer camp. Vacations were once a year and to ok places but nothig extravagent. We went to California every other year becasue my Moms family had all moved there. We stayed with our cousins and had a good time but the only thing expensive about that trip were the plane tickets.

My parents saved enough money for us to all go to college debt free, which was awesome, and so they could reture comfortably.

We choose to have a smaller family, planned on two, partly because we wanted to be able to pay for college for the kids and because we wanted to go to see our family every year, so two states minimum. We wanted to take nice vacations with our kids (now kid) and be able to allow him to take the classes and do the things he was interested in. And we wanted to be able to make sure we retire comfortably in our early 60’s.

Make the choice that makes sense for you or deal with life as it comes to you. There is nothing wrong with having a larger family, they can be great.

4 doesn't seem large to me because I grew up in a family more than twice that size.

I personally don't look back fondly on my childhood but that's because my parents weren't equipped to handle so many kids. It was a huge stressor, we have long family histories of depression, anxiety, and mental illness, and we are all damaged goods because of that reality.

But that's just my tale.

I also have 7. It is a wonderful experience!

Anonymous wrote:9 kids in my family. You basically don't get to develop a deep parenting relationship with each individual kid. There are other benefits for the kids (independence, fun, family belonginess) but a lot fewer parental resources for each one.

I think 4 kids is really the max if you want to be close to your lids.

to clarify, I was a kid in a large family, not a parent.

9 kids in my family. You basically don't get to develop a deep parenting relationship with each individual kid. There are other benefits for the kids (independence, fun, family belonginess) but a lot fewer parental resources for each one.

I think 4 kids is really the max if you want to be close to your lids.

None of our friends have 4. Were at 3 and most have 2, some 3. So just wondering how much crazier we can expect it to get. Just tell me what you like about having a big family mostly, relationships between kids, whether the sacrifices are worth it (fewer activities).

Anonymous wrote:I’m another poster pregnant with my 4th. What do weekends look like for big families?

It really depends on the ages. For older ones, if you let them do activities, lots of running around!! My husband and I end up trading off versus when they were younger and we did more family things.

I’m another poster pregnant with my 4th. What do weekends look like for big families?

I don’t even think that is large. I have 7. Need specific questions.

I have five. What do you want to know? There is a lot of cooking and laundry.

I was 1 of 2. Want 4. Go.