Anonymous wrote:My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

NP here. This is a fear of mine. My mom is a cancer survivor but I'm so scared it's going to recur and I'll lose her prematurely (she is only 70). The thought of life without my sweet mom is so painful. I don't know how I'm gonna do it when she's gone.

When my cousin was sentenced to 75 years for molesting my brother and sister, and it was all over the news in our town. The abuse started almost immediately after I left to go to college in another state. He waited until I was gone to do it. I have tremendous guilt about it. My sister now weighs almost 400 pounds and my brother has come out as gender fluid and I wouldn’t be surprised if he is really trans so maybe a she). Neither has been stable as adults. I definitely think the abuse contributes to their unhappiness. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself.

Learning that my fiancé had made someone pregnant 3 days before my wedding and that he wanted to postpone the wedding until he knew for sure if the child was his. If course that was the end of our relationship.

Being kicked out by my dad right before a very important exam because his wife started a fight with me ( I had used a couple of her empty hangers without asking her) and asked my dad to choose between the 2 of us ( I was 22).

Getting home after a very long flight to find that exam DH had put all my belongings in a suitcase and taken them to my studio.

My life has been very hard but I have children and can not afford to be depressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Losing my 3 year old.

Watching my mom and dad die.

I’m not over it.

I am so sorry.

Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:Losing my 3 year old.

Watching my mom and dad die.

I’m not over it.

I am so sorry.

Losing my 3 year old.

Watching my mom and dad die.

I’m not over it.

I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

Anonymous wrote:My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

I am so very sorry about your mom. Are you ok now?

My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 4 months after DS2 was born. She had a really difficult surgery, followed by chemo, and death when DS2 just turned 1. I was the primary care giver. H was battling his own serious health issues during this time. I don't know how I survived. Just living one day at a time.

There are 2, I'm not sure which is worse.

1. My freshman year of college. I had been suffering with an eating disorder for about a year and a half at this point but it got so bad that if I was unable to vomit what little I ate, I couldn't function. Couldn't go to class and just lay in bed for hours. My friends intervened and I got better
2. I had bad PPD. Didn't want to actually hurt DS or myself, but it was almost that bad. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone so suffered in silence. Eventually it got better but I have major regrets and the first year of ds' life is filled with unhappy memories. People tell me all the good things I did with him, but I mostly just remember the bad (being detached at times)

Anonymous wrote:My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

+1

Petty people have no place in these discussions - usually they still have both their parents and are still so very naive yet, are still so petty.....

My mother's illness with cancer and her death. After her death I went into a very dark place. It hurt so bad I thought the pain was going to kill me.

The call saying my brother was dead by suicide.

I haven’t recovered. I just move one day forward. I have had pockets of joy, including the birth of my son, and all of the happiness involved in his five years of life. But the brother-sized hole in my life is never filled and sometimes feels even bigger.

Lady_looking wrote:and how you bounced back?

Why, what's up, OP/ Are you talking about family deaths, personal deadly illness, what?

and how you bounced back?