Anonymous
02/21/2019 07:46
Subject: People who change drastically
Anonymous wrote:My youngest sister was into fashion and dining. She literally spent her entire paycheck for years on clothes and eating out. She was also super ambitious about her career and just fun.
She liked boys her weren’t that into her. She liked to win them over. And did multiple times. She’s a bit complicated like that. She cannot stand it when I guy isn’t infatuated with her. Once they do become in love with her it ended. The men she pursued weren’t winners either. They were always guys she had to take care of.
She moved away and found herself surrounded by bible study folk. Her first boyfriend was super religious but abusive in the name of religion. Really did a number on her. She was single for a few months (longest in her adult life) and then did a full 180. She became super religious and modest. She started “courting” this guy who was never her type. Dorky, not masculine, sweet, and Uber religious.
She is like a different person now. She wants to save herself for marriage, marry this guy, and become a missionary. She wants to be a pastor’s wife.
I don’t even know who I’m talking to anymore. It makes me sad. Good for her if this is who she is. But for people who knew her and loved her before it’s like that person died.
I don't think that is simply growing up. Religion can take the place of drugs or abuse. More socially acceptable, that's all. I'd say she probably needs therapy to deal with whatever the underlying issues are.
Anonymous
02/21/2019 06:35
Subject: People who change drastically
My youngest sister was into fashion and dining. She literally spent her entire paycheck for years on clothes and eating out. She was also super ambitious about her career and just fun.
She liked boys her weren’t that into her. She liked to win them over. And did multiple times. She’s a bit complicated like that. She cannot stand it when I guy isn’t infatuated with her. Once they do become in love with her it ended. The men she pursued weren’t winners either. They were always guys she had to take care of.
She moved away and found herself surrounded by bible study folk. Her first boyfriend was super religious but abusive in the name of religion. Really did a number on her. She was single for a few months (longest in her adult life) and then did a full 180. She became super religious and modest. She started “courting” this guy who was never her type. Dorky, not masculine, sweet, and Uber religious.
She is like a different person now. She wants to save herself for marriage, marry this guy, and become a missionary. She wants to be a pastor’s wife.
I don’t even know who I’m talking to anymore. It makes me sad. Good for her if this is who she is. But for people who knew her and loved her before it’s like that person died.
She liked boys her weren’t that into her. She liked to win them over. And did multiple times. She’s a bit complicated like that. She cannot stand it when I guy isn’t infatuated with her. Once they do become in love with her it ended. The men she pursued weren’t winners either. They were always guys she had to take care of.
She moved away and found herself surrounded by bible study folk. Her first boyfriend was super religious but abusive in the name of religion. Really did a number on her. She was single for a few months (longest in her adult life) and then did a full 180. She became super religious and modest. She started “courting” this guy who was never her type. Dorky, not masculine, sweet, and Uber religious.
She is like a different person now. She wants to save herself for marriage, marry this guy, and become a missionary. She wants to be a pastor’s wife.
I don’t even know who I’m talking to anymore. It makes me sad. Good for her if this is who she is. But for people who knew her and loved her before it’s like that person died.
Anonymous
02/21/2019 06:20
Subject: People who change drastically
If your interests have remained exactly the same throughout your life, I think you have a problem. You are stagnant.
Anonymous
02/21/2019 06:12
Subject: People who change drastically
They're figuring out who they are
Anonymous
02/21/2019 01:32
Subject: People who change drastically
YEs I have noticed flipping one extreme for its opposite!
Also I have my STBX’s example: when we met, married, and up until our child was about 2-3 yo, he was a very agreeable, soft person, which was perfect for me. As I became more and more dependent on him for money and help with the child, he was becoming more and more tyrannical and stubborn and just a jerk. Maybe it was because we weren’t in love anymore, or maybe because I was dependent on him.
I am now back to work, kid is older, we are separating and he is all sensible and fairly agreeable again. So weird.
Also I have my STBX’s example: when we met, married, and up until our child was about 2-3 yo, he was a very agreeable, soft person, which was perfect for me. As I became more and more dependent on him for money and help with the child, he was becoming more and more tyrannical and stubborn and just a jerk. Maybe it was because we weren’t in love anymore, or maybe because I was dependent on him.
I am now back to work, kid is older, we are separating and he is all sensible and fairly agreeable again. So weird.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 23:06
Subject: Re:People who change drastically
Occasionally, people do change drastically. But it's rare, most people don't change drastically. They might evolve with age and changing life circumstances (kids, career, etc) but their baseline doesn't change. Sometimes, it appears to be drastic change because it took them a long time to figure who they are or to be comfortable expressing themselves openly. So it was who they were all along. Other times, it's change that's not really change. For example, someone who was a hardcore partier who later became extremely anti-partying or vice-versa. They basically traded one extreme for another extreme. It's doing the same thing (i.e. subscribing to an extreme position on something) but in a different way.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 22:18
Subject: People who change drastically
A few of my fun loving high school and college friends are now born again homeschooling rural living women? So very odd to me as I remember them in their carefree youthful times. I would not recognize their lives now, not judging just curious.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 21:56
Subject: People who change drastically
I think people change due to multiple factors
Growing up and finding themselves is the biggest one I can think of
I know for me, I didn’t really know who I was or where I belonged until a few years ago
Growing up and finding themselves is the biggest one I can think of
I know for me, I didn’t really know who I was or where I belonged until a few years ago
Anonymous
02/20/2019 18:35
Subject: People who change drastically
Anonymous wrote:It’s called growing up.
+1
Anonymous
02/20/2019 18:27
Subject: People who change drastically
I haven’t changed despite all these life stages but I do know a few people who have. Usually it’s for the best/healthier/more stable.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 18:23
Subject: People who change drastically
Stop worrying about other people and the choices they make, and worry about your own.
Or, continue to "get unnerved" in order to feel better about other people judging you (for judging them).
Or, continue to "get unnerved" in order to feel better about other people judging you (for judging them).
Anonymous
02/20/2019 18:02
Subject: People who change drastically
It’s called growing up.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 18:01
Subject: People who change drastically
Anonymous wrote:As young as third grade, I noticed that women (I only noticed it in women) would often have a significant personality change after getting married or having a baby.
Women also change a lot after getting into a relationship.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 17:59
Subject: People who change drastically
As young as third grade, I noticed that women (I only noticed it in women) would often have a significant personality change after getting married or having a baby.
Anonymous
02/20/2019 17:51
Subject: People who change drastically
Am I the only one who gets unnerved when I see someone change their personalities or attitudes completely?
Examples such as former party girl who becomes a health social media influencer or a woman who swore off mommyhood who gets married and knocked up and becomes the Pinterest mom.
I also have an acquaintance who was a casual Muslim who is now super conservative and caught up in religion.
Obviously to each her own but it’s weird for me to witness these drastic changes. Who are they really?
I guess I can’t relate as my personality and interests have been the same throughout my life.
Examples such as former party girl who becomes a health social media influencer or a woman who swore off mommyhood who gets married and knocked up and becomes the Pinterest mom.
I also have an acquaintance who was a casual Muslim who is now super conservative and caught up in religion.
Obviously to each her own but it’s weird for me to witness these drastic changes. Who are they really?
I guess I can’t relate as my personality and interests have been the same throughout my life.