I know a mom with 4 kids who works as a rocket scientist (literally). Her kids are happy and well-adjusted and cute.

Hot messes

People on this site are so jealous of women who are either naturally fertile or started early enough to be able to have 3+ kids.

I know several families with 4+ kids who are perfectly normal, put together, kids are clean and dressed appropriately, etc.

And plenty of families with 1-2 kids that are a mess.

Yes, I’m a teacher and one of my students is 1 of 4 and her mother is beautiful. No help, either. And not a Mormon or catholic. She’s just a beautiful, put together woman with gorgeous children.

The ones I know are either total messed or have a lot of help.

My MIL. DH is one of five and all five are great--kind, funny, compassionate, successful in their chosen careers.

Of course, I have no idea what her life looked like day-to-day back when they were kids, but she is 80+ and still fun, hilarious, and beloved by her kids. She also had a nice career in public health until she was 72.

I can't imagine having that many kids myself but she basically had a baby a year for 5 years, so they're very close in age.

The mom of 4 I know is very well put together. Her kids are well adjusted, smart, involved and nice kids. She has a business. Well regarded in community. Does a ton for the schools. Dresses well. I’m envious of her. I don’t know how she does it all and I wish I knew cause I only have three am stressed out with my messily job and just 3.

Yes, they tend to be highly organized, neat and attractive.

I know two. One looks like a fitness model. Her kids look fine... not sure about anything else. The other one looks fine too, although don’t think she excersises much. Her kids are all nice and well mannered. They both SAH.

The moms of four all seem OK. For me, it's the moms of three that are often hot messes. It's like they got cocky after number two and then got the beat down once number three arrived.

I agree with you, OP. Idk what it is, but it's real.

I know a homeschooling mom of ten who is inspirational. I am not sure what you mean about looking a mess and keeping up with everything. She looks fine, and her kids look fine. She makes meals every day and educates her children, and she is well regarded by friends and neighbors as a kind and cheerful person, but I am pretty sure she doesn’t keep up with politics or have monthly bikini waxes.

What exactly does “keeping up with everything” look like to you, OP?

plenty of put together 4 moms at our catholic school.

There's a mom at my gym who has 4 and she is a workout fiend and seems pretty put together.

The ones I know all look like a mess and so do their kids. I was 4 but I wonder if it’s too impossible to keep up with everything and I would inevitably let me and my kids look like this.