Why are people ATTACKING the op? It’s an interesting question. I read an article on it once. I think popular kids have a knack for social manipulation or something like that.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, troll, but for the most part, this can't be engineered.

It comes out pretty early on (like in daycare) which kids are the popular social ringleader types, usually without parent intervention.

From what I can tell, the parents are very social, like to drink and usually have money. They also get the kids involved in lax early.

Anonymous wrote:Must have genes for extraversiom and reasonably good looks. Start group childcare early to develop strong social skills. Make sure they have the coolest clothes and things to draw the attention of other children.

+ 1 to all this
must be attractive (not gorgeous, but not odd looking)
likable (usually translates to outgoing, its easy to tell early on which kids other gravitate towards)
cute and well-fitting clothes (the preschool set is already wearing under armour)

you asked.

Anyone with good social skills and self confidence can be cool and well liked, and I think you can do a lot as a parent to nurture those qualities.

However, that is a separate issue from fitting in with a predetermined group of peers. Unless your child truly shares interests and qualities with those kids it's a no-win battle. They'll either be rejected or spend so much time trying to make sure they stay "in" they never get a chance to figure out who they really are as a person.

Anonymous wrote:There’s good popular (naturally liked by many for the right reasons) and there’s not so good popular. Social engineering by parents results in not so good popular.

+1

Must not have you for a mother.

It has to do with their internal sociability wiring.

You can encourage interest in their fellow classmates and other people, and teaching them manners. You can't create it of your child is wired differently, though.

We are a happy nerdy family. No popularity here!

Must have genes for extraversiom and reasonably good looks. Start group childcare early to develop strong social skills. Make sure they have the coolest clothes and things to draw the attention of other children.

There’s good popular (naturally liked by many for the right reasons) and there’s not so good popular. Social engineering by parents results in not so good popular.

If you have to ask, you're not going to be able to do it. Sorry. Your kid is doomed to be a nerd.

(double troll here just to be clear).

The fact that you are asking this tellls me that your children will never be popular, OP.

Go away troll.

Sorry, troll, but for the most part, this can't be engineered.

It comes out pretty early on (like in daycare) which kids are the popular social ringleader types, usually without parent intervention.

I hope you are a troll. Don't. Just don't.

How is it that some kids just naturally seem to be “cool” and popular? How much of parenting/social grooming is involved? How much is natural?