Anonymous wrote:I was thinking about writing a book called "His Five Last Dates", where a 65 yo man discovers he has terminal cancer, and he decides to contact his pre-marriage ex-loves (with his wife's OK) and have dinner with each one, one last time, to re-connect, re-hash and say goodbye.

I don't have the writing skills to do it, so you're welcome to the idea.

That sounds inanely depressing!

There are no free refills.

Anonymous wrote:Omg I did this twice and it was awful both times. High school boyfriend who cheated on me cheated again. College boyfriend was a loser then, loser again.

This is what usually happens. The flakey ex remains a flakey ex.

My dad went to his high school reunion after never attending one and saw the girl he had a crush on in high school. My father & mother were on the verge of divorce prior to then. But I think the crush made him feel young again and that may have been the reason why he finally decided to give my mom a divorce. A few years later, he married the lady. They spent a good decade together before she passed away from cancer. So even with the tragic ending, I think he found happiness for a few years with her and doesn't have any regrets.

Omg I did this twice and it was awful both times. High school boyfriend who cheated on me cheated again. College boyfriend was a loser then, loser again.

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy like this. We adored each other but were too young, moved on in life, still have feelings for each other. I’m married now, but if he said the word, I’d file divorce papers that day.

Can’t hurt to try.

This is the saddest post I read in a while. If you’re that certain your marriage and husband are so not worth even a second thought or glance back, just stop wasting your and your husband’s time and divorce him already - you’re keeping him as a warm body beside you until someone better comes (or comes back) into your life.

Anonymous wrote:No. Please don’t. An ex of my spouse popped up out of nowhere and wanted to reconnect after 30 years. I was polite but very clear, past is past. We are a family, we have a kid, we invested our lives in this marriage. Leave us alone.

And did the ex leave your spouse alone? Because if they did, what harm was done to you? The person who tried won't have to live their entire life with the "what if" feeling, so trying was beneficial to them while having zero consequence for you.

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy like this. We adored each other but were too young, moved on in life, still have feelings for each other. I’m married now, but if he said the word, I’d file divorce papers that day.

Can’t hurt to try.

I thought the same thing until a few months ago when I ran into him one night while out with friends. It was the night I had been waiting for for years. He made it very clear that he was interested in more and while I thought I would be as well, it just wasn't the same feeling in real life that I had built it up to be in my mind. Not worth wrecking two marriages and two families over. Since I've let go of that fantasy, I've been able to focus on DH's positives more rather than his negatives. It's kind of a big relief to not have the "what ifs" anymore.

I reconnected with an old flame after 24 years and divorce. It was not the same at all. At first it seemed like we had the magic back, but that didn't last. He had never married and wanted someone younger or no one at all.

I was thinking about writing a book called "His Five Last Dates", where a 65 yo man discovers he has terminal cancer, and he decides to contact his pre-marriage ex-loves (with his wife's OK) and have dinner with each one, one last time, to re-connect, re-hash and say goodbye.

I don't have the writing skills to do it, so you're welcome to the idea.

I have a guy like this. We adored each other but were too young, moved on in life, still have feelings for each other. I’m married now, but if he said the word, I’d file divorce papers that day.

Can’t hurt to try.

No. Please don’t. An ex of my spouse popped up out of nowhere and wanted to reconnect after 30 years. I was polite but very clear, past is past. We are a family, we have a kid, we invested our lives in this marriage. Leave us alone.

This gives me hope, I don’t wish to be with anyone from my past but it makes happy and hopeful that life is full positive surprises.

Sweet story. Get up the guts and do it. If you don’t you might regret ever not trying.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/02/fashion/weddings/after-a-redo-reunion-they-rediscovered-their-chemistry.html

Imagine that one person you regretted went away and getting a second chance? I would never do what he did. To have something potentially blow up again or learn your feelings and memories are less than the other partner's would be too much to risk at this stage of my life.