I believe in “you are the company that you keep”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will usually give my opinion....

But then usually let my friend figure it all out on her own.
Because I do not judge anyone for what they do since they will face any consequences for their actions.

We all are adults here.

Bullshit. Judge him or her harshly for being a dishonest piece of crap. Refuse to socialize until he or she gets off the fence. Refuse to face the spouse knowing this secret.

You’ve clearly been scorned or cheated on so your advice is biased, but most people don’t speak up because they don’t want to be caught up in the drama. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I haven't been cheated on and I agree with that PP. She invited your judgment on her circus when she told you about it.

Anonymous wrote:Is this a female thing? Honest question, because I am a man, I have had many men confess an affair, the usual reaction is somewhere between " cool story" to "you are playing with fire.". Moral condemnation or cutting the friendship is never part of the equation

I am a woman. I think it depends on the woman. Most are judgey. I am not. My friend did it. I listened. I dud not judge. They have been married almost a decade now. We are still friends.

People really have no idea what is going on in others’ relationships. But if someone cheats, I think it should be over. But I keep my opinion to myself. I am there for good friends no matter what.,

I ended the friendship. She wasn't the person I thought she was. And she broke up her 10 year marriage and eventually regretted that decision.

Last time I heard, she was on her 6th marriage. Someone who gets married 6 times isn't emotionally healthy.

Is this a female thing? Honest question, because I am a man, I have had many men confess an affair, the usual reaction is somewhere between " cool story" to "you are playing with fire.". Moral condemnation or cutting the friendship is never part of the equation

Tell her to see a therapist if she wants to talk details. Stay out of it. Dumb of her to tell you.

If she does not have kids, she should get a divorce.

Do you know both DW and DH? This happened to me. I told her I didn’t want to know, and if her husband got suspicious and asked me I would not lie and cover for her. She got pissed at me, but I stood my ground. She distanced herself from me and I have not heard from her in six months or so. Not sure whether she stayed married but I suspect the affair is still on or she would be in touch. She knows I don’t approve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will usually give my opinion....

But then usually let my friend figure it all out on her own.
Because I do not judge anyone for what they do since they will face any consequences for their actions.

We all are adults here.

Bullshit. Judge him or her harshly for being a dishonest piece of crap. Refuse to socialize until he or she gets off the fence. Refuse to face the spouse knowing this secret.

You’ve clearly been scorned or cheated on so your advice is biased, but most people don’t speak up because they don’t want to be caught up in the drama. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Not PP but goid friends don't sit around and let their friends self destruct.

I just stop hanging out with them until they can pull their shit together. I tell them I am there for them when they start making good decisions.

I did the same when my friend was a drunk, get sober if you want to be my friend.

You dont just go see no evil when a friend is self destructing. What a terrible friend you would be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will usually give my opinion....

But then usually let my friend figure it all out on her own.
Because I do not judge anyone for what they do since they will face any consequences for their actions.

We all are adults here.

Bullshit. Judge him or her harshly for being a dishonest piece of crap. Refuse to socialize until he or she gets off the fence. Refuse to face the spouse knowing this secret.

You’ve clearly been scorned or cheated on so your advice is biased, but most people don’t speak up because they don’t want to be caught up in the drama. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Mind my own business.

Anonymous wrote:I will usually give my opinion....

But then usually let my friend figure it all out on her own.
Because I do not judge anyone for what they do since they will face any consequences for their actions.

We all are adults here.

Bullshit. Judge him or her harshly for being a dishonest piece of crap. Refuse to socialize until he or she gets off the fence. Refuse to face the spouse knowing this secret.

I will usually give my opinion....

But then usually let my friend figure it all out on her own.
Because I do not judge anyone for what they do since they will face any consequences for their actions.

We all are adults here.

Distance yourself or tell her exactly what you wrote here.

What do you do? How do you react? I have told her that I think she needs to break it off with the other man, or with her husband (no kids), but she's clearly wanting to have her cake and eat it too - doesn't want to be alone, single, doesn't know if the other man is "the one." Her husband isn't a bad guy, but they've clearly lost chemistry over the years. She wants him to take care of her, but she doesn't want to take care of him. I cannot respect that.

I do not want to be a go-to person for her to talk about this stuff or how things are going with the other dude. Go work on your marriage, or have the decency to end it. I don't want to listen to her sob stories about not being able to decide.

Have you ever ended a friendship because you just lost respect for them? Did it change your friendship?