I’m a SAHM of 3. When I had 2 under 2, I went back to work because staying home was so hard. I worked part time (25 hours) but had a FT nanny and preschool.

I now have a toddler and 2 kids in elementary. I’m exhausted but I’m trying to enjoy the little one. Not sure if I will ever go back to work again. DH makes a very high income now though.

Thanks for the responses! Hoping time will make me more at ease with the setup.

It just seems too easy/good after being home and on 24/7. I don’t regret my path, but I do regret how I often felt “less than” as a SAHM. Now I see that I certainly wasn’t taking the easy way out, which is how I felt as SAHM.

-the OP

Ahh nice OP! Im a bit jealous. Im a sahm and ready to go back to work but its taking me a while to get back into workforce due to how long Ive been out. Hopefully I can figure out a way to get back in sooner than later! I just feel like Ill appreciate the kids a bit more if Im not at their beckon call 24/7 the way I am now. I have zero help and its exhausting. Ive been at it for 6 yrs and I think my time to transition back to the working world to gain more balance has come! I thoroughly enjoyed it when they were newborns and babies and being home allowed me to nurse without the added pressure of pumping etc, but I seem to be in the next season of it all now, so would like to get to where you are!

I was only a stay at home mom during maternity leave, which isn't the same thing. I knew even before having kids that I wasn't SAHM material. So I went back to work and never felt an ounce of guilt.

WOHM lawyer here. Never have I ever diluted myself into thinking SAHM would be easier. It's 100% harder on a day to day challenge level. Is work always fun? No. Does it have hard moments? Absolutely. Is it easier than juggling a 3 year old who has to poop and a 7 month screaming bc she is overtired and won't nap? You bet.

As for the guilt, eh. They are both thriving and I think I am a better and more patient mom when we are together. They have been in care since they were little and don't know any different. I feel a pang of guilt when I see some SAHMs on my street playing with their kids at like 3pm if I have to be home for one reason or another but it very quickly passes.

Duh. There’s a reason white makes typically go to work instead of staying home with kids. They know what the better option is. What’s sad is how many SAHms think it’s a good idea for them to stay home and that working is harder.

Why should you feel guilty? I don't feel guilty for not working and staying home. My youngest will leave home in the next 3.5 years and I will go back to work if I want to. You should do whatever makes you happy.

I agree that working with younger kids is physically easier. I also feel that staying home with MS and HS kids is physically easier. I did the hard parts of child rearing and now I am doing the easier part. Still I am shocked how little time I has with my kids in the scheme of things. I am grateful I did not miss out time with them. Thankfully I has the economic means to do that. If I could not afford to stay at home, I would be working too. You have to provide for your family first. That is the single most important taak of parents. Staying at home is truly a privilege even if it comes at the coat of a career.

Anonymous wrote:I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

+1

Plus, you earn money and paid benefits for the easier work - no contest!

Anonymous wrote:... and wow, can I just say this is so much easier than life at home with 3 kids under 5? Time to actually accomplish something without kid interruptions, time to have coffee and chat it’s other adults... it’s mindblowing after years at home with little ones. I’m in a good place with my FT job, it’s decently challenging and interesting but no crazy hours.

Kids are all in care that I’m comfortable with and they seem happy.

My problem... the guilt! Anyone else feel this way? Like I should be home with them instead of working at a job that admittedly doesn’t bring in much $ after care for kid is paid. I feel guilty for “dumping “ them in care full time. But I am happier and more relaxed and fulfilled. But feeling guilty. Thoughts? Commiseration? Does the guilt subsid?

Congratulations! I don't feel guilty for working. My kids need to eat and live indoors, so I work. If your kids' needs are met, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

I am a sham back to work (after a decade) and completely agree with you. Working is way easier than childcare and house crap. I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but dropping your kids in daycare and working is he easy way out.

I think when they go to kindergarten.

... and wow, can I just say this is so much easier than life at home with 3 kids under 5? Time to actually accomplish something without kid interruptions, time to have coffee and chat it’s other adults... it’s mindblowing after years at home with little ones. I’m in a good place with my FT job, it’s decently challenging and interesting but no crazy hours.

Kids are all in care that I’m comfortable with and they seem happy.

My problem... the guilt! Anyone else feel this way? Like I should be home with them instead of working at a job that admittedly doesn’t bring in much $ after care for kid is paid. I feel guilty for “dumping “ them in care full time. But I am happier and more relaxed and fulfilled. But feeling guilty. Thoughts? Commiseration? Does the guilt subsid?