Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 03:45     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:My addict teenage goddaughter is pregnant and says she plans on keeping the baby.

The “plan” is so ludicrous I can’t even begin to outline it bc it sounds almost like it’s made up. But she plans on moving in with the fathers family in their housing project apartment even though the father isn’t in the picture.

With everything else going on that’s like one of the more thought out aspects of this. It’s so so bad.

I talked to her for an hour tonight trying to show her why she needs to get an abortion. I told her about how expensive it all is, how insane being a parent is, I told her that the sadness of an abortion is peanuts compared to the sadness of looking at your child and knowing your faults are affecting them irreversibly.

I am also paralyzed bc although I could avoid it, I see a very clear path ahead where this baby ends up with me. Maybe not forever but this could impact my family considerably.

I’m just freaking out and I need some perspective. Please be kind. Is there any angle of this I could/should take with her to ensure I’ve done everything I can to alvage this situation. She has got to get an abortion. I need to tread so carefully.


There is a third way: adoption. Did you mention that as one of her choices?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 03:35     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Also, I was a teenage mom twice. My life did not end. My children (and I) are college educated and thriving and healthy. Worse things have happened.


Were you also a drug addict at the time?


Oh sorry - I missed where OP said the teenager is an addict.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:47     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would refer her to Planned Parenthood. They will help her with whatever choice she decides to pursue.



Haha. Right.


^ Spoken like somebody who has never set foot in a Planned Parenthood.


Bc I’m sure you go there for all your pregnancies right? They aren’t exactly known for their high quality OB care. In fact I would be shocked if they even offer OB care at all of the PPs.

Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:35     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would refer her to Planned Parenthood. They will help her with whatever choice she decides to pursue.



Haha. Right.


^ Spoken like somebody who has never set foot in a Planned Parenthood.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:31     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:I would refer her to Planned Parenthood. They will help her with whatever choice she decides to pursue.



Haha. Right.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:21     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:
Also, I was a teenage mom twice. My life did not end. My children (and I) are college educated and thriving and healthy. Worse things have happened.


Were you also a drug addict at the time?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:17     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:So you want her to kill her baby so you don’t have to worry about needing to help take care of it? She’s an addict, she needs help getting clean and prepared for the birth of this child. Perhaps his parents are the ones who can help her if you are as unsupportive as you come across in your post.


Oh ffs.

Disagreeing with you about being pro life vs pro choice does not make OP “unsupportive”. She may be being negative but that seems to be because she is extremely concerned — because she cares about this young woman! The fact that she sees taking the baby in as a realistic outcome shows how supportive — if pessimistic— she is!
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:17     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:So you want her to kill her baby so you don’t have to worry about needing to help take care of it? She’s an addict, she needs help getting clean and prepared for the birth of this child. Perhaps his parents are the ones who can help her if you are as unsupportive as you come across in your post.


Why should OP have to raise a surprise kid?? She's essentially just a family friend of this girl. Or was a family friend at some point of her parents.

You're awful.

And OP has already said that despite her reluctance, she can already see a good chance that the baby would end up with her. Despite it ruining her life and affecting her family as well.

OP, I think you need to have a chat with your husband/family and figure out what you are prepared to do (or not) for this baby. NOBODY could possibly think less of you for not taking in this baby. It's not your burden to carry.

Maybe you could help her with the adoption process. There are parents who would accept a drug addicted baby. Or pay for rehab. Or be her sponsor for rehab. Or something else. But don't do more than you're comfortable doing. And the mom-to-be should know that you won't be her safety net and take in this child, if that's the case. Because maybe she's relying on that.

And yes, it sucks. It really does. You have my sympathy and best wishes.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:15     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
I would refer her to Planned Parenthood. They will help her with whatever choice she decides to pursue.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:14     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
What is she addicted to? It probably won’t end well if she is a meth or heroin addict. Where are her parents in all of this?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:10     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Anonymous wrote:Why would the baby wind up with you rather than with its grandparents?

Also, I was a teenage mom twice. My life did not end. My children (and I) are college educated and thriving and healthy. Worse things have happened.


Her parents have passed away
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:08     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Breathe.

How old is teen? 15? 19? I feel like those are drastically different.

Can you help her to get professional counseling so a neutral 3rd party can help her work through the plans? I’m sure you tried, but it’s clear you are so emotional that youre struggling.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:01     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
So you want her to kill her baby so you don’t have to worry about needing to help take care of it? She’s an addict, she needs help getting clean and prepared for the birth of this child. Perhaps his parents are the ones who can help her if you are as unsupportive as you come across in your post.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 02:01     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
Why would the baby wind up with you rather than with its grandparents?

Also, I was a teenage mom twice. My life did not end. My children (and I) are college educated and thriving and healthy. Worse things have happened.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 01:55     Subject: Wrecked over goddaughters pregnancy
My addict teenage goddaughter is pregnant and says she plans on keeping the baby.

The “plan” is so ludicrous I can’t even begin to outline it bc it sounds almost like it’s made up. But she plans on moving in with the fathers family in their housing project apartment even though the father isn’t in the picture.

With everything else going on that’s like one of the more thought out aspects of this. It’s so so bad.

I talked to her for an hour tonight trying to show her why she needs to get an abortion. I told her about how expensive it all is, how insane being a parent is, I told her that the sadness of an abortion is peanuts compared to the sadness of looking at your child and knowing your faults are affecting them irreversibly.

I am also paralyzed bc although I could avoid it, I see a very clear path ahead where this baby ends up with me. Maybe not forever but this could impact my family considerably.

I’m just freaking out and I need some perspective. Please be kind. Is there any angle of this I could/should take with her to ensure I’ve done everything I can to salvage this situation. She has got to get an abortion. I need to tread so carefully.