I'm so sorry. I can't believe she was commenting on what features she would like from someone else. The comment she should be making is that she's sad she won't see your features.

If she isn't pregnant, I would think long and hard about whether you really want to do this. She doesn't sound kind or caring which can make for a very hard life for you.

Anonymous wrote:Did you have to do the mandatory counseling session as a couple before using donor materials? My spouse and I did when we lived in MD, it is helpful for this kind of situation.

No.

Question: how did you deal with the fact that one of you guys were not the bio-parent because that eliminates that whole ("he/she looks like you") and the whole "our baby" stuff where you have a shared aspiration/anticipation. I think there can still be a shared aspiration but it has to be about raising the kid together not focused on the physical traits. Did you actively think about/consider that or were you just naturally sensitive to it?

Did you have to do the mandatory counseling session as a couple before using donor materials? My spouse and I did when we lived in MD, it is helpful for this kind of situation.

If she isn't pregnant, you need to think long and hard about this.

She is showing you who she is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry Op. That is really mean and disrespectful to you.

Is this representative of her general nature or is she usually sensitive and more attuned to your feelings?

The truth is she is self-centered. She is happy-go-lucky an usually very upbeat which covers over a lot of flaws but the loner we are together to more I notice that she just doesn't recognize people's needs around her. I think a lot of that is because, in general, people are always going out of their way for her. She has one of those people that everyone dotes on and she thinks its normal. Old ladies routinely comment to use when we are out and about that "you are so pretty/cute/etc. Bottom line is I think she is stunted because of that crap.

Before you and she add a child to your lives you truly need couples therapy. Now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she's just giddy about possibly being pregnant, but that's no excuse. You should tell her how you feel. She's your wife.

No joke, I'm sitting here considering simply checking-out of the whole process.

Divorce her before it is too late!

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she's just giddy about possibly being pregnant, but that's no excuse. You should tell her how you feel. She's your wife.

No joke, I'm sitting here considering simply checking-out of the whole process.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry Op. That is really mean and disrespectful to you.

Is this representative of her general nature or is she usually sensitive and more attuned to your feelings?

The truth is she is self-centered. She is happy-go-lucky an usually very upbeat which covers over a lot of flaws but the loner we are together to more I notice that she just doesn't recognize people's needs around her. I think a lot of that is because, in general, people are always going out of their way for her. She has one of those people that everyone dotes on and she thinks its normal. Old ladies routinely comment to use when we are out and about that "you are so pretty/cute/etc. Bottom line is I think she is stunted because of that crap.

Sounds like she's just giddy about possibly being pregnant, but that's no excuse. You should tell her how you feel. She's your wife.

I'm sorry Op. That is really mean and disrespectful to you.

Is this representative of her general nature or is she usually sensitive and more attuned to your feelings?

She does not know for sure if she is pregnant (idiotic) and she is acting very mean. I am sorry, OP!!

I'm so sorry, OP. That's awful, really. Your wife should know better than to treat you like this. Perhaps you can tell her you feel left out, and that to be as supportive as you can throughout this whole process, she needs to understand that you are the father - non-bio, but still the father.

Yeah, I'm not going to talk to her about my feelings because the only dignity I've got regarding this my ability to such up my disappointment and deal with it.

Ouch. I'm sorry, OP. I can see why this would be hurtful. I mean, I can understand why she is excited and wants to talk about it but also why it is pretty insensitive. Can you just tell her?

A vent.... Wife just went through her first insemination by a donor and she thinks she is pregnant now (skin broke out, breasts hurting, etc.) and she has spend the last two days looking at the donor information and picture and talking to me about what she hopes the kid gets from this guy (eyes, nose, etc.). We kept the whole situation quite and our parents don't know but her mom was just on the phone with her and she asked my wife if she actually got pregnant from her ex-bf. Wife though it was funny and is bouncing around the house carrying on about how funny her mom is...

I'm annoyed and trying not to be upset but I'm feeling like I don't matter in this whole thing.