I’ve had affairs that were never discovered. I think it depends on the spouse. Maybe mine knows but doesn’t say anything or doesn’t know and doesn’t care but either way it works for me.

I think more spouses know and choose not to do anything about it.

The cheating spouse thinks that because they have not been confronted, the spouse doesn’t know.

Anonymous wrote:I got away with one short term and one long term affair. I have several friends who did as well, and have seen tons of cheating at work conferences. I assume only the minority get caught, the rest of us live in blissful ignorance.

It’s not too late for her to find out.

Anonymous wrote:I've cheated several times over the years and have never been caught by my DW. I think it's because they are spaced out encounters with people who are also married and value discretion. It doesn't change my interactions or relationship with my DW. I love her and the life we've built together- we're just not sexually compatible. I knew it when we were young, but I also knew she was otherwise a great match for me and would be a great wife and mother.

You’re disgusting.

I've cheated several times over the years and have never been caught by my DW. I think it's because they are spaced out encounters with people who are also married and value discretion. It doesn't change my interactions or relationship with my DW. I love her and the life we've built together- we're just not sexually compatible. I knew it when we were young, but I also knew she was otherwise a great match for me and would be a great wife and mother.

Anonymous wrote:No. They don’t. I have many (male) coworkers who have cheated multiple times over the last 10 years that I have known them...their wives are clueless. One wife did find out at her DH’s funeral when her husband’s mistress of 5 years (we know because she joined him on some business dinners and trips)...broke down at the funeral.

People don't necessarily let on that they're aware their spouse is cheating or that they suspect it.

Hi OP, I am the person who wrote that in the other thread. After reading these few comments and thinking about some stories of people I’ve known, I suppose I shouldn’t make that sweeping statement.
I said it because that’s how I truly feel but that’s due to my own circumstances. Other than the fact that it happened to me (which has conditioned me to be suspicious of most people), I’ve always been a very curious and intuitive person. Not jealous or snooping or prying or anything like that, but I pick up on everything. Things that don’t seen right, or off, or different.. and it will stick with me until I figure itout.
So I think I always assume everyone’s like that - and therefore wanting to get to the bottom of things - but as I get older I’m realizing I’m just jaded and not everyone is like that.

I bet if our Prez wasn’t our Prez, than all of his philandering while married to his wife would never have surfaced.

He would be blackmailed more often + would have shelled out a huge (small to him!) fortune to get people to shut up.

No, they don’t.

Anonymous wrote:I got away with one short term and one long term affair. I have several friends who did as well, and have seen tons of cheating at work conferences. I assume only the minority get caught, the rest of us live in blissful ignorance.

Work conferences are absolute meat markets.

I got away with one short term and one long term affair. I have several friends who did as well, and have seen tons of cheating at work conferences. I assume only the minority get caught, the rest of us live in blissful ignorance.

What is more important is this: if someone is cheating on you, they will always tell you that they are cheating on you. No matter how slick they think they are, their behavior gives it away every time. The problem is that you won't listen because you don't want to hear it.

No. They don’t. I have many (male) coworkers who have cheated multiple times over the last 10 years that I have known them...their wives are clueless. One wife did find out at her DH’s funeral when her husband’s mistress of 5 years (we know because she joined him on some business dinners and trips)...broke down at the funeral.

Truth always comes out

Someone on another thread wrote that spouses always find out if they're being cheated on. Do you think that's true?

Anyone out there conceal a long-term affair?