Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 20:15     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?


Not but you’re a racist!

Nope
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 20:09     Subject: Re:All adult daughters should read this NYT column
I can't take this lady seriously because she named her kids Solly and Zeph.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 19:47     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?


Not but you’re a racist!
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 19:43     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
My mother is the same way but the little comments are incredibly toxic. I don’t understand how the author can romanticize it.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 19:23     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
i thought it was rather sweet -- the daughter actually admires the way her mother raised her and wishes she could do as well with her own three children.

i think parenting is more difficult now, so the author should give herself a break.

As for myself, yes, mothers do have a way of quietly communicating disapproval, and, yes, sometimes it hurts, but, I'm not overly sensitive.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:48     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
I made it this far and realized it doesn’t apply to me or my mother. I’d cut off a person like this decades ago: “Both loving and barbed, it uses a kind of weaponized casualness to criticize, but with complete plausible deniability.”
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:40     Subject: Re:All adult daughters should read this NYT column
The mom sounds horrible. The daughter needs counseling to learn self confidence and good boundaries.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:32     Subject: Re:All adult daughters should read this NYT column
I have a super close relationship with my mom. And a super close relationship with both of my adult daughters. Likely because the relationships are the opposite of what is described in this article.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:32     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Anonymous wrote:Wow. I don't relate to this at ALL. I am in my early/mid 30's and haven't spoken with my mother since I was 16. She's never met my children and wasn't invited to my wedding. She definitely doesn't know me at all.

Also, I disagree that all adult daughters should read this - not all adult daughters are mothers, seeking THEIR mother's approval.


I would think you have an unusual relationship with your mother. Most mothers and daughters have some type of verbal relationship.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:27     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Wow. I don't relate to this at ALL. I am in my early/mid 30's and haven't spoken with my mother since I was 16. She's never met my children and wasn't invited to my wedding. She definitely doesn't know me at all.

Also, I disagree that all adult daughters should read this - not all adult daughters are mothers, seeking THEIR mother's approval.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:22     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Nope, sorry. I'm an adult daughter and I don't need to read such whiny drivel. I'm grown and I know to take the good, leave the bad, make my own decisions, and keep it moving.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:08     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?


Feel free to actually read the column. The author is Ruth Whippman so I am guessing no.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:08     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Yikes her mum sounds enjoyable to live with and open-minded.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:07     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."

Was this an Asian mother?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2019 18:05     Subject: All adult daughters should read this NYT column
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/20/well/family/the-power-of-the-little-comment-in-mother-daughter-relationships.html

I found it very spot on. Mother-daughter relationships are the best and the worst of human connection and dynamics. I appreciated the way she articulated this.

"My mother understands me better than anyone, and I crave her approval more than anyone else’s. I could recite her entire value system if I were in a coma. Every meal needs a salad, music is good and sport is suspect, children should learn a stringed instrument, sleeping late is a moral failing. She doesn’t actually need to criticize. She did her job so effectively 30 years ago that now she need only raise an eyebrow and I fill in the blanks on autocomplete."