How about saying “I just don’t have $800 for your tires right now because I have a property tax payment, car insurance, a gas bill for winter heating, and a college tuition payment all due at the same time. How about you do a little babysitting while you’re home to pitch in and we’ll brainstorm some ways we can cut spending for a few weeks and see if we can get it done.”

She won’t get it if you don’t give her the perspective she needs. She has no idea of what costs are involved in “adult” life so you have to teach her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting since they were little. If they don't get it now, you didn't teach them money values early on. Having things paid for doesn't mean they don't value it.

Or you taught them and they didn’t learn? Sometimes, everything you try to do as a parent doesn’t work out 100% perfectly.

Exactly. Sometimes they just have to live life and mature a little.

due to merit aid

One thing we did, once all college acceptances were IN and final costs were known, we compiled a list of those colleges with cost in descending order along with many other colleges DC had heard of, so it was a large list.

DC saw the range of costs. Some schools being 3x more than another. She had no idea of the huge range. She was given this information before, but for whatever reason, this time it made an impression.

Btw, the most expensive college on her application list became the least expensive of her acceptances. When costs are so unpredictable is it any wonder it's hard for them to wrap their heads around it.

Anonymous wrote:Parenting since they were little. If they don't get it now, you didn't teach them money values early on. Having things paid for doesn't mean they don't value it.

Or you taught them and they didn’t learn? Sometimes, everything you try to do as a parent doesn’t work out 100% perfectly.

Anonymous wrote:Ever since they were little I explained our budget to them. I don't really understand people who think children are too young. They know how much things cost and how much we can afford.

NP here. I like your idea but I could see getting tripped up in the implementation. How much detail did you go into at what ages? Did they ever broadcast to their friends more information than you wanted them to? Did your information ever cause worry? Did your kids ever openly challenge your budget allocations (values)?

OP, it's not a moment of "getting it", or based on personality or the result of a particular parenting style ...

Anonymous wrote:How to make it register?

Wait 20 years until they have kids they are providing for and they'll get it.

+1

My parents didn’t pay my tuition or anything else. By happenstance all my college and later law school friends had their colleges paid for and we’re rather bratty.

Let me tell you nothing in my life is any better due to the struggle. And actually statistics bare that out. Advantages are just plain advantages.

Anonymous wrote:Ever since they were little I explained our budget to them. I don't really understand people who think children are too young. They know how much things cost and how much we can afford.

Same. I've offered to get my almost 13yo a new Iphone (he currently uses my old, broken five-year old one, which barely has any memory left) and he keeps insisting that even though he'd like a new phone, it's stupid to spend that much on "just a phone." My 10 yo daughter doesn't get it yet, she always tries to order the most expensive item on a menu when we go out to eat, but we teach her every day.

Parenting since they were little. If they don't get it now, you didn't teach them money values early on. Having things paid for doesn't mean they don't value it.

Ever since they were little I explained our budget to them. I don't really understand people who think children are too young. They know how much things cost and how much we can afford.

How to make it register?

Wait 20 years until they have kids they are providing for and they'll get it.

They have to work for it to appreciate it. A kid who gets handed everything without seeing the price tag and hasn’t had to work to appreciate how long it takes to earn that much money has never been given the opportunity to get it.

For college kids? Just spent $800 on new tires for her car, college fully funded, etc. and sometimes I don’t think she gets it.