Anonymous wrote:Been a long time lurker on DCUM and I have to say the college talk is really starting to scare me. Do people really believe that of the over 2000 colleges in America you can only go to 30 or so places? ... We just don't believe that top schools are the only choice, its just not that serious. Are we alone in thinking this way?

Nobody thinks their kid's life is ruined if their kid doesn't get into a top 10 or 30 or whatever. But those top schools have very generous financial aid and are 100% full of the most talented students in the world. So, ethos which promotes dreaming big, connections for life and great dating pool. And no doors are closed with regard to best job offers. If the kid heads to a less prestigious school, the financial aid is shittier, there are many untalented kids there, there's more risk. The network and dating pool is hit or miss. Doors are absolutely closed. It's not THAT dramatic, but there are very distinct differences. Period.

Anonymous wrote:Check out College Confidential -- lots of info on merit aid schools and lots of happy parents and kids posting about their experiences at those schools.

College Confidential is an echo chamber of lonely state school parents who've been posting the same responses to each other for 10-15 years.

My DD is at a no-name school, not even in the top 200. DD is applying to HYPS for grad school. Her professors say it's very likely she will be accepted. Last year's grads from her school in her major got into MIT, CalTech, Harvard, etc. This is a small, no name school that gives a lot of merit $$ to attract kids like DD. She loves it there, BTW.

Anonymous wrote:Four of our five are college grads. The youngest is in college now. They all went to SEC schools. They all have great jobs. No one is living in my basement. And most importantly, none of them have a dime in student loans. Two of them got ROTC scholarships. Two of them received merit aid. I have a national merit scholar and we did no test prep at all. Ever. There was zero stress associated with the applying to college. Literally none. I read the dcum threads and just shake my head. Don’t look to dcum for college advice. Or really, any parenting advice. This site is more for comic relief than anything else.

Well said. This is exactly right. I have two in college and another in a few years and this is our outlook as well. So many scaremongers on DCUM, it is both entertaining and pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone!

- husband and I both graduated from Bowie State University we make 200k plus each. We are doing just fine, thank you

My husband makes the same except he went to a school that makes Bowie State sound prestigious. It really depends on the major/career field. IT anywhere. Business, Law and medicine need top schools.

So...what possible value could any if this talk have for you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone!

- husband and I both graduated from Bowie State University we make 200k plus each. We are doing just fine, thank you

My husband makes the same except he went to a school that makes Bowie State sound prestigious. It really depends on the major/career field. IT anywhere. Business, Law and medicine need top schools.

Med schools care very little about quality of undergrad. (Am PP above with kid accepted at two med schools so far. I said undergrad was nowhere near top 30. In fact, nowhere near top 100 either.)

There is a huge variety of law and business schools. If you are talking about the top ones, it is true you are probably helped by undergrad quality. But only up to a point. GWU is ranked 63 and a colleague's DD who got an AA at community college then a BA at GWU just started law at University of Michigan U, which is ranked 8.

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone!

- husband and I both graduated from Bowie State University we make 200k plus each. We are doing just fine, thank you

My husband makes the same except he went to a school that makes Bowie State sound prestigious. It really depends on the major/career field. IT anywhere. Business, Law and medicine need top schools.

OP .. and when your kids are choosing classes and there is pressure to choose a certain class schedule in high school, remember what you have said here.

Lot of kids have worked very, very hard - often, in part, to keep up with their friend group and be in the same classes. They want to be together academically and socially. They judge each other, it's not just about the adults. Kids work very hard and then wonder, "why was it necessary if I'm not going to end up at a college my friends like, or have ever heard of ..." Of course the problem is they are 18 year olds without much life experience, but they still have preferences and want to be proud of themselves.

Check out College Confidential -- lots of info on merit aid schools and lots of happy parents and kids posting about their experiences at those schools.

OP here, I have found my tribe. Thanks for the reality check.

I just started a thread asking if anyone else has a kid applying to med school. Kid was late bloomer and is attending mediocre at best undergrad (NO where near top 30). Has two med school acceptances so far.

Four of our five are college grads. The youngest is in college now. They all went to SEC schools. They all have great jobs. No one is living in my basement. And most importantly, none of them have a dime in student loans. Two of them got ROTC scholarships. Two of them received merit aid. I have a national merit scholar and we did no test prep at all. Ever. There was zero stress associated with the applying to college. Literally none. I read the dcum threads and just shake my head. Don’t look to dcum for college advice. Or really, any parenting advice. This site is more for comic relief than anything else.

You are not alone!

- husband and I both graduated from Bowie State University we make 200k plus each. We are doing just fine, thank you

No. Just keep on doing what you're doing.

Been a long time lurker on DCUM and I have to say the college talk is really starting to scare me. Do people really believe that of the over 2000 colleges in America you can only go to 30 or so places? That seems crazy to me. Our kids are still pretty young and we're saving aggressively for college but we are both in agreement that spending 70K+ per year for DC to attend some "name" school is just ridiculous. DW and I both went to top 10 schools in our day and I don't know if we can pin our "success" on attending these schools. Plus when we were in grad school we both met people who had gone to undergrad in places that we had never heard of. Yet they were in the same program that we were, taking the same classes and training for the same career. Our philosophy right now is to save as much as we can to ensure both kids graduate without loans. When the time comes to select a school we hope that we can help them to pick schools that will be a good fit for each child's personality. We just don't believe that top schools are the only choice, its just not that serious. Are we alone in thinking this way?