Anonymous wrote:Apologize to nanny and tell her you cannot cancel the trip, but you can cancel your mother. Ask if this is acceptable and emphasize no hard feelings as it was your mistake.

Tell your mother your nanny is threatening to quit and you can’t afford to lose the care. Emphasize this was your mistake and rebook her for another special weekend.

Where did OP say she was threatening to quit? You people are something else. She was trying to be helpful - presumably her kids are in school most of the day when the nanny's on duty and this is 3 full days and nights. WTF?

Apologize to nanny and tell her you cannot cancel the trip, but you can cancel your mother. Ask if this is acceptable and emphasize no hard feelings as it was your mistake.

Tell your mother your nanny is threatening to quit and you can’t afford to lose the care. Emphasize this was your mistake and rebook her for another special weekend.

College kids are home and looking to make $$$.

I would reach out to your local listserve and see if anyone has a college student who can help each day.

You asked your mom to help without checking with the nanny and then just sprung it on her? That was not a good idea...

This is going to cause an irreparable riff between you and the nanny unless you work this out now. Mark my words.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I"m not at all surprised that your nanny canceled. I would too. Did you even ask her if she needed help?

+1. Presumably this woman watches your three kids by herself for part/all of every day with no help. I would have been thoroughly annoyed you didn’t trust me to do a job I agreed to do also. That was really undermining toward her.

yup. Its pretty disrespectful.

I'd be worried your nanny is going to find a new family. Basically you tried to add on another person for her to care for and weren't going to pay her more. She probably was planning on cooking for herself and 3 children, then you added an elderly woman. My children don't behave well when grandparents are around because grandparents let them do whatever and don't enforce rules. I wouldn't want to deal with that as a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have friends who have an au pair or sitter they could recommend to help out? Theres also Care.com.

3 kids last minute for a couple hours, sure. 3 kids, for three days, days and nights, not even knowing the kids? Hell no.

Point would be that sitter would provide help for your mom. Doesn't need to be there the entire time.

Anonymous wrote:I"m not at all surprised that your nanny canceled. I would too. Did you even ask her if she needed help?

+1. Presumably this woman watches your three kids by herself for part/all of every day with no help. I would have been thoroughly annoyed you didn’t trust me to do a job I agreed to do also. That was really undermining toward her.

I"m not at all surprised that your nanny canceled. I would too. Did you even ask her if she needed help?

Anonymous wrote:Do you have friends who have an au pair or sitter they could recommend to help out? Theres also Care.com.

3 kids last minute for a couple hours, sure. 3 kids, for three days, days and nights, not even knowing the kids? Hell no.

Do you have a date night sitter who you use occasionally that you might be able to call? Or ask the nanny if she has any friends who might be willing to pick up the shifts. Also see if your mom does not come, will nanny stay? If so, eat the change fee / cancellation fee and have mom stay home.

Since nanny was #1 you should have asked her before inviting your mom.

Your mom can 100% cancel her flight.

Crap happens. Cancel the trip

Do you have friends who have an au pair or sitter they could recommend to help out? Theres also Care.com.

Our nanny confirmed with us months ago that she’d be available to watch our three children from Thursday morning till Sunday evening. We worked out pay and she agreed in early November. DH and I started to worry she’d be overwhelmed with all three children (all under 7) for that many days and nights. Whenever one of us is out of town for the weekend we call for back up. So my mother graciously agreed to come stay the weekend and help out. I made sure my mom knew nanny would be in charge and she was just there to assist. However, nanny was clearly not thrilled when she found out and sent me a long e-mail basically saying she was no longer willing to stay the weekend.

Now I’m in a pickle. We’ve paid for and committed to our trip. My mother can’t cancel or flight and is already extremely offended. She can’t care for them alone, but she’s great at helping. Mostly just moaning, but also any suggestions for last minute weekend care in Arlington area?

TIA