Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 20:56     Subject: Do small comments bother you?

My mother can repeat the same critique 10 times in a single conversation, then mention it every single day, then call me at home to repeat it 10 more times if I haven't switched over to her way. She's always been like this. She's anxious, control-freaky and has nothing better to do.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 20:36     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
This is how all the women in my family act. It's annoying, but it may just be her personality.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 14:09     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
If my MIl wants to go grocery shopping and prepare a meal for me, she is welcome to. I would not quibble with her over bbq sauce.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 14:07     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
One time when my MIL kept interrupting me, I said, "Larla, I'm going to keep a count of every time you correct or interrupt me. That was three."

I suggest similar: "Larla, that's the third comment you've made about DD's clothes in the past few minutes. Please back off--we've got it covered."
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 13:27     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
Anonymous wrote:I think you're too sensitive, especially regarding the BBQ sauce. I would do that with my H, b/c I'm trying to be more mindful of processed food products.

Regarding your kids, she's fussing over them like most grandmothers. Learn to ignore those comments.


There’s a difference between two spouses making a mutual decision on what food to purchase, and someone telling their adult child what to eat.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 12:36     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
Shrug, then ignore.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 12:29     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
Those aren't "small comments." They are digs at your capacity as a parent. She's not a nice person.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 12:09     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
I think you're too sensitive, especially regarding the BBQ sauce. I would do that with my H, b/c I'm trying to be more mindful of processed food products.

Regarding your kids, she's fussing over them like most grandmothers. Learn to ignore those comments.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 12:05     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mother does this. It's irksome, but I know that she truly can't help herself.

"I'm going to make some sloppy joes and freeze it for you. I'm going to need to go out to buy BBQ sauce."

"We have BBQ sauce. A full bottle. Right there."

"I don't like that kind"

"But...you're not eating it. You're doing it as a kind gesture so we have a meal in the future."

"You'll like it with the other BBQ sauce better."

Everything is like this. I just ignore and let her go on her merry way.


OP here, funny you mention BBQ sauce. When DH and I first started dating, she came to visit him and we went grocery shopping together. I picked up a bottle of sauce, and she immediately looked at the nutrition info and said “wow, look at all the sodium and fat it has”.

I can’t tell if these comments are innocent or if they are a judgement on my capabilities.


I'd vote for innocuous. Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance or lack of self-awareness.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 12:03     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
Anonymous wrote:My mother does this. It's irksome, but I know that she truly can't help herself.

"I'm going to make some sloppy joes and freeze it for you. I'm going to need to go out to buy BBQ sauce."

"We have BBQ sauce. A full bottle. Right there."

"I don't like that kind"

"But...you're not eating it. You're doing it as a kind gesture so we have a meal in the future."

"You'll like it with the other BBQ sauce better."

Everything is like this. I just ignore and let her go on her merry way.


OP here, funny you mention BBQ sauce. When DH and I first started dating, she came to visit him and we went grocery shopping together. I picked up a bottle of sauce, and she immediately looked at the nutrition info and said “wow, look at all the sodium and fat it has”.

I can’t tell if these comments are innocent or if they are a judgement on my capabilities.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 11:59     Subject: Re:Do small comments bother you?
"Nothing like your helpful comments to start the day off, MIL, we couldn't live without you!"
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 11:52     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
My MIL does the same with my kids and the weather. It basically has to be 72-78 degrees and sunny and no humid for her to be not freezing or dying of heat. I just ignore. No, I'm not putting a hat on my kid when it's 55 out.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 11:51     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
My mother does this. It's irksome, but I know that she truly can't help herself.

"I'm going to make some sloppy joes and freeze it for you. I'm going to need to go out to buy BBQ sauce."

"We have BBQ sauce. A full bottle. Right there."

"I don't like that kind"

"But...you're not eating it. You're doing it as a kind gesture so we have a meal in the future."

"You'll like it with the other BBQ sauce better."

Everything is like this. I just ignore and let her go on her merry way.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 11:47     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
"Nancy, she's fine. When you say things like that, it makes me think you don't respect me as a parent. Please stop making comments unless you feel there is something truly dangerous or wrong."
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2018 11:44     Subject: Do small comments bother you?
When we see my MIL, she often makes comments regarding my DD. Examples: “I think her shoes are too small” *feels her toes* “yes, they are too small” (they aren’t too small and fit fine). Or it’ll be 60 degrees and sunny out, and she comments multiple times on how DD must be freezing cold without full winter gear on.

I like my MIL, and I try to brush these comments off and assume she has good intentions, but sometimes they irritate me. Does this type of thing bother anyone else?