Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be more clear. FWB and I go waaaaay back and always had a “thing,” but never enough for him to want to lock it down. We rekindled the FWB and then he started dating someone seriously and ended things with me. He’s back and says she was better on paper but I’m actually better, and he wants to see where this could go.

So how exactly did he "royally screw things up?". Makes no sense. You admit you were FWB and had a "thing" but in reality, you wanted more but settled for less. He's now back - and he'll keep you around until something better comes along.

If you like being second or third or fourth choice, go for it.

Anonymous wrote:Need more details!!! Otherwise, our advice is pointless!

Well, to be fair, our advice is probably pointless anyway, but it's more fun for us if you tell us what went down. Especially if there's a contingent on both sides and we get to argue it to death.

"see where this could go?" No. He knows you. He should know *for certain* if he wants to commit to you. He should know that -like yesterday. He, instead, should be proposing marriage to you NOW ... AND be willing to wait, and wait and hope and hope ... that he will be worthy of you saying, "yes" .. when you feel like it, eventually.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be more clear. FWB and I go waaaaay back and always had a “thing,” but never enough for him to want to lock it down. We rekindled the FWB and then he started dating someone seriously and ended things with me. He’s back and says she was better on paper but I’m actually better, and he wants to see where this could go.

As a single women, I will give you a little advice that must be learned over and over again. Please work on developing better self esteem. This guy is nothing but a game player. If you are young, or old, do not waste your years on a man like this.

OP here. Let me be more clear. FWB and I go waaaaay back and always had a “thing,” but never enough for him to want to lock it down. We rekindled the FWB and then he started dating someone seriously and ended things with me. He’s back and says she was better on paper but I’m actually better, and he wants to see where this could go.

making someone a FWB is kind of like hiring someone to work for you in only one specific way - they both get crossed off the relationship list. Not in a bad way! Just, remove this one person from all the bajillion people in the world from that list. as policy. if you want the person to stay on the relationship list, don't make them a FWB. Also don't bang your subordinates obvs. The banging is not the similarity. It's just the not dating. Okay? Okay.

Need more details!!! Otherwise, our advice is pointless!

Anonymous wrote:How things most likely went down:
1. OP caught feelz and demanded an exclusive relationship progressing to marriage
2. He said no
3. In a fury she cut him off
4. Now he's relenting

If she "takes him back", frankly this doesn't sound like a relationship that is going to succeed.

Why not? In your scenario they both are interested in making a go of it.

How things most likely went down:
1. OP caught feelz and demanded an exclusive relationship progressing to marriage
2. He said no
3. In a fury she cut him off
4. Now he's relenting

If she "takes him back", frankly this doesn't sound like a relationship that is going to succeed.

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, ex-FWB royally screwed up and I cut him off completely. He’s come back apologizing and saying he wants to do this the right way - exclusive relationship and progress (potentially) to marriage. Would you?

Why would I? I don't know the guy from Adam.
You're the one who was intimate with him you tell me...Would you?

Sounds like he’s dangling the promise of a future for a chance to get in your pants today.

If my FWB mentioned marriage I’d be out of there like a bat out of hell.

The fact that you’re seeing that as a positive means (to me) that you didn’t want a FWB - but more- and that’s not a good place to be.

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, ex-FWB royally screwed up and I cut him off completely. He’s come back apologizing and saying he wants to do this the right way - exclusive relationship and progress (potentially) to marriage. Would you?

Umm. Not clear why a FWB would think that he is "fixing" things by offering a "real relationship that progresses to marriage". Presumably, you were FWB because that is what you both wanted? If you wanted FWB with him, why would you take something different from him now? A guy who was appropriate to be your FWB isn't necessarily appropriate to be a mate. The fact that he presumes you want this, is a red flag to me. Either he is presumptuous or you made it clear that you were either settling for FWB hoping it would be something else or it started as FWB but you realized you wanted something else. Either way, it's probably not going to work out. Move along.

Next time, figure out what you want first and respect yourself enough to find someone who is available to give it.

Umm why post if you don’t saw how he screwed up? You do know that matters, right? Did he sleep with your sister? Make you lose your job?

Only if he demonstrates steps that show that he wants a real relationship. Talk is cheap.

Long story short, ex-FWB royally screwed up and I cut him off completely. He’s come back apologizing and saying he wants to do this the right way - exclusive relationship and progress (potentially) to marriage. Would you?